the secret places of the heart-第42章

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y。　。　。　。　No！〃　Sir　Richmond　sat　still；　a　little　like　a　sullen　child；　she　thought。　〃I　hate　all　this；〃　he　said　slowly。　〃I　didn't　think　of　your　father　before；　and　now　I　think　of　him　it　sets　me　bristling　for　a　fight。　It　makes　all　this　harder　to　give　up。　And　yet；　do　you　know；　in　the　night　I　was　thinking；　I　was　coming　to　conclusions；　very　like　yours。　For　quite　other　reasons。　I　thought　we　ought　not　toWe　have　to　keep　friends　anyhow　and　hear　of　each　other？〃　〃That　goes　without　saying。〃　〃I　thought　we　ought　not　to　go　on　to　be　lovers　in　any　way　that　Would　affect　you；　touch　you　too　closely。　。　。　。　I　was　sorryI　had　kissed　you。〃　〃Not　I。　No。　Don't　be　sorry　for　that。　I　am　glad　we　have　fallen　in　love；　more　glad　than　I　have　been　of　anything　else　in　my　life；　and　glad　we　have　spoken　plainly。　。　。　。　Though　we　have　to　part。　And〃　Her　whisper　came　close　to　him。　〃For　a　whole　day　yet；　all　round　the　clock　twice；　you　and　I　have　one　another。〃　Miss　Seyffert　began　speaking　as　soon　as　she　was　well　within　earshot。　〃I　don't　know　the　name　of　a　single　one　of　these　flowers〃　she　cried；　〃except　the　bluebells。　Look　at　this　great　handful　I've　gotten！　Springtime　in　Italy　doesn't　compare　with　it；　not　for　a　moment。〃　Section　5　Because　Belinda　Seyffert　was　in　the　dicky　behind　them　with　her　alert　interest　in　their　emotions　all　too　thinly　and　obviously　veiled；　it　seemed　more　convenient　to　Sir　Richmond　and　Miss　Grammont　to　talk　not　of　themselves　but　of　Man　and　Woman　and　of　that　New　Age　according　to　the　prophet　Martineau；　which　Sir　Richmond　had　partly　described　and　mainly　invented　and　ascribed　to　his　departed　friend。　They　talked　anthropologically；　philosophically；　speculatively；　with　an　absurd　pretence　of　detachment；　they　sat　side　by　side　in　the　little　car；　scarcely　glancing　at　one　another；　but　side　by　side　and　touching　each　other；　and　all　the　while　they　were　filled　with　tenderness　and　love　and　hunger　for　one　another。　In　the　course　of　a　day　or　so　they　had　touched　on　nearly　every　phase　in　the　growth　of　Man　and　Woman　from　that　remote　and　brutish　past　which　has　left　its　traces　in　human　bones　mingled　with　the　bones　of　hyaenas　and　cave　bears　beneath　the　stalagmites　of　Wookey　Hole　near　Wells。　In　those　nearly　forgotten　days　the　mind　of　man　and　woman　had　been　no　more　than　an　evanescent　succession　of　monstrous　and　infantile　imaginations。　That　brief　journey　in　the　west　country　had　lit　up　phase　after　phase　in　the　long　teaching　and　discipline　of　man　as　he　had　developed　depth　of　memory　and　fixity　of　purpose　out　of　these　raw　beginnings；　through　the　dreaming　childhood　of　Avebury　and　Stonehenge　and　the　crude　boyhood　of　ancient　wars　and　massacres。　Sir　Richmond　recalled　those　phases　now；　and　how；　as　they　had　followed　one　another；　man's　idea　of　woman　and　woman's　idea　of　man　had　changed　with　them；　until　nowadays　in　the　minds　of　civilized　men　brute　desire　and　possession　and　a　limitless　jealousy　had　become　almost　completely　overlaid　by　the　desire　for　fellowship　and　a　free　mutual　loyalty。　〃Overlaid；〃　he　said。　〃The　older　passions　are　still　there　like　the　fires　in　an　engine。〃　He　invented　a　saying　for　Dr。　Martineau　that　the　Man　in　us　to…day　was　still　the　old　man　of　Palaeolithic　times；　with　his　will；　his　wrath　against　the　universe　increased　rather　than　diminished。　If　to…　day　he　ceases　to　crack　his　brother's　bones　and　rape　and　bully　his　womenkind；　it　is　because　he　has　grown　up　to　a　greater　game　and　means　to　crack　this　world　and　feed　upon　its　marrow　and　wrench　their　secrets　from　the　stars。　And　furthermore　it　would　seem　that　the　prophet　Martineau　had　declared　that　in　this　New　Age　that　was　presently　to　dawn　for　mankind；　jealousy　was　to　be　disciplined　even　as　we　had　disciplined　lust　and　anger；　instead　of　ruling　our　law　it　was　to　be　ruled　by　law　and　custom。　No　longer　were　the　jealousy　of　strange　peoples；　the　jealousy　of　ownership　and　the　jealousy　of　sex　to　determine　the　framework　of　human　life。　There　was　to　be　one　peace　and　law　throughout　the　world；　one　economic　scheme　and　a　universal　freedom　for　men　and　women　to　possess　and　give　themselves。　〃And　how　many　generations　yet　must　there　be　before　we　reach　that　Utopia？〃　Miss　Grammont　asked。　〃I　wouldn't　put　it　at　a　very　great　distance。〃　〃But　think　of　all　the　confusions　of　the　world！〃　〃Confusions　merely。　The　world　is　just　a　muddle　of　states　and　religions　and　theories　and　stupidities。　There　are　great　lumps　of　disorderly　strength　in　it；　but　as　a　whole　it　is　a　weak　world。　It　goes　on　by　habit。　There's　no　great　idea　in　possession　and　the　only　possible　great　idea　is　this　one。　The　New　Age　may　be　nearer　than　we　dare　to　suppose。〃　〃If　I　could　believe　that！〃　〃There　are　many　more　people　think　as　we　do　than　you　suppose。　Are　you　and　I　such　very　strange　and　wonderful　and　exceptional　people？〃　〃No。　I　don't　think　so。〃　〃And　yet　the　New　World　is　already　completely　established　in　our　hearts。　What　has　been　done　in　our　minds　can　be　done　in　most　minds。　In　a　little　while　the　muddled　angry　mind　of　Man　upon　his　Planet　will　grow　clear　and　it　will　be　this　idea　that　will　have　made　it　clear。　And　then　life　will　be　very　different　for　everyone。　That　tyranny　of　disorder　which　oppresses　every　life　on　earth　now　will　be　lifted。　There　will　be　less　and　less　insecurity；　less　and　less　irrational　injustice。　It　will　be　a　better　instructed　and　a　better　behaved　world。　We　shall　live　at　our　ease；　not　perpetually　anxious；　not　resentful　and　angry。　And　that　will　alter　all　the　rules　of　love。　Then　we　shall　think　more　of　the　loveliness　of　other　people　because　it　will　no　longer　be　necessary　to　think　so　much　of　the　dangers　and　weaknesses　and　pitifulliesses　of　other　people。　We　shall　not　have　to　think　of　those　who　depend　upon　us　for　happiness　and　selfrespect。　We　shall　not　have　to　choose　between　a　wasteful　fight　for　a　personal　end　or　the　surrender　of　our　heart's　desire。〃　〃Heart's　desire；〃　she　whispered。　〃Am　I　indeed　your　heart's　desire？〃　Sir　Richmond　sank　his　head　and　voice　in　response。　〃You　are　the　best　of　all　things。　And　I　have　to　let　you　go。〃　Sir　Richmond　suddenly　remembered　Miss　Seyffert　and　half　turned　his　face　towards　her。　Her　forehead　was　just　visible　over　the　hood　of　the　open　coupe。　She　appeared　to　be　intelligently　intent　upon　the　scenery。　Then　he　broke　out　suddenly　into　a　tirade　against　the　world。　〃But　I　am　bored　by　this　jostling　unreasonable　world。　At　the　bottom　of　my　heart　I　am　bitterly　resentful　to…day。　This　is　a　world　of　fools　and　brutes　in　which　we　live；　a　world　of　idiotic　traditions；　imbecile　limitations；　cowardice；　habit；　greed　and　mean　cruelty。　It　is　a　slum　of　a　world；　a　congested　district；　an　insanitary　jumble　of　souls　and　bodies。　Every　good　thing；　every　sweet　desire　is　thwartedevery　one。　I　have　to　lead　the　life　of　a　slum　missionary；　a　sanitary　inspector；　an　underpaid　teacher。　I　am　bored。　Oh　God！　how　I　am　bored！　I　am　bored　by　our　laws　and　customs。　I　am　bored　by　our　rotten　empire　and　its　empty　monarchy。　I　am　bored　by　its　parades　and　its　flags　and　its　sham　enthusiasms。　I　am　bored　by　London　and　its　life；　by　its　smart　life　and　by　its　servile　life　alike。　I　am　bored　by　theatres　and　by　books　and　by　every　sort　of　thing　that　people　call　pleasure。　I　am　bored　by　the　brag　of　people　and　the　claims　of　people　and　the　feelings　of　people。　Damn　people！　I　am　bored　by　profiteers　and　by　the　snatching　they　call　business　enterprise。　Damn