the secret places of the heart-第15章

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　but　growing　minorityconstitute　that　part　of　life　which　knows　and　wills　and　tries　to　rule　its　destiny。　This　new　realization；　the　new　psychology　arising　out　of　it　is　a　fact　of　supreme　importance　in　the　history　of　life。　It　is　like　the　appearance　of　self…consciousness　in　some　creature　that　has　not　hitherto　had　self…consciousness。　And　so　far　as　we　are　concerned；　we　are　the　true　kingship　of　the　world。　Necessarily。　We　who　know；　are　the　true　king。　。　。　。I　wonder　how　this　appeals　to　you。　It　is　stuff　I　have　thought　out　very　slowly　and　carefully　and　written　and　approved。　It　is　the　very　core　of　my　life。　。　。　。　And　yet　when　one　comes　to　say　these　things　to　someone　else；　face　to　face。　。　。　。　It　is　much　more　difficult　to　say　than　to　write。〃　Sir　Richmond　noted　how　the　doctor's　chair　creaked　as　he　rolled　to　and　fro　with　the　uneasiness　of　these　intimate　utterances。　〃I　agree；〃　said　Sir　Richmond　presently。　〃One　DOES　think　in　this　fashion。　Something　in　this　fashion。　What　one　calls　one's　work　does　belong　to　something　much　bigger　than　ourselves。　〃Something　much　bigger；〃　he　expanded。　〃Which　something　we　become；〃　the　doctor　urged；　〃in　so　far　as　our　work　takes　hold　of　us。〃　Sir　Richmond　made　no　answer　to　this　for　a　little　while。　〃Of　course　we　trail　a　certain　egotism　into　our　work；〃　he　said。　〃Could　we　do　otherwise？　But　it　has　ceased　to　be　purely　egotism。　It　is　no　longer；　'I　am　I'　but　'I　am　part。'。　。　。　One　wants　to　be　an　honourable　part。〃　〃You　think　of　man　upon　his　planet；〃　the　doctor　pursued。　〃I　think　of　life　rather　as　a　mind　that　tries　itself　over　in　millions　and　millions　of　trials。　But　it　works　out　to　the　same　thing。〃　〃I　think　in　terms　of　fuel；〃　said　Sir　Richmond。　He　was　still　debating　the　doctor's　generalization。　〃I　suppose　it　would　be　true　to　say　that　I　think　of　myself　as　mankind　on　his　planet；　with　very　considerable　possibilities　and　with　only　a　limited　amount　of　fuel　at　his　disposal　to　achieve　them。　Yes。　。　。　。　I　agree　that　I　think　in　that　way。　。　。　。　I　have　not　thought　much　before　of　the　way　in　which　I　think　about　thingsbut　I　agree　that　it　is　in　that　way。　Whatever　enterprises　mankind　attempts　are　limited　by　the　sum　total　of　that　store　of　fuel　upon　the　planet。　That　is　very　much　in　my　mind。　Besides　that　he　has　nothing　but　his　annual　allowance　of　energy　from　the　sun。〃　〃I　thought　that　presently　we　were　to　get　unlimited　energy　from　atoms；〃　said　the　doctor。　〃I　don't　believe　in　that　as　a　thing　immediately　practicable。　No　doubt　getting　a　supply　of　energy　from　atoms　is　a　theoretical　possibility；　just　as　flying　was　in　the　time　of　Daedalus；　probably　there　were　actual　attempts　at　some　sort　of　glider　in　ancient　Crete。　But　before　we　get　to　the　actual　utilization　of　atomic　energy　there　will　be　ten　thousand　difficult　corners　to　turn；　we　may　have　to　wait　three　or　four　thousand　years　for　it。　We　cannot　count　on　it。　We　haven't　it　in　hand。　There　may　be　some　impasse。　All　we　have　surely　is　coal　and　oil；there　is　no　surplus　of　wood　nowonly　an　annual　growth。　And　water…power　is　income　also；　doled　out　day　by　day。　We　cannot　anticipate　it。　Coal　and　oil　are　our　only　capital。　They　are　all　we　have　for　great　important　efforts。　They　are　a　gift　to　mankind　to　use　to　some　supreme　end　or　to　waste　in　trivialities。　Coal　is　the　key　to　metallurgy　and　oil　to　transit。　When　they　are　done　we　shall　either　have　built　up　such　a　fabric　of　apparatus；　knowledge　and　social　organization　that　we　shall　be　able　to　manage　without　themor　we　shall　have　travelled　a　long　way　down　the　slopes　of　waste　towards　extinction。　。　。　。　To…day；　in　getting；　in　distribution；　in　use　we　waste　enormously。　。　。　。As　we　sit　here　all　the　world　is　wasting　fuel　fantastically。〃　〃Just　as　mentallyeducationally　we　waste；〃　the　doctor　interjected。　〃And　my　job　is　to　stop　what　I　can　of　that　waste；　to　do　what　I　can　to　organize；　first　of　all　sane　fuel　getting　and　then　sane　fuel　using。　And　that　second　proposition　carries　us　far。　Into　the　whole　use　we　are　making　of　life。　〃First　things　first；〃　said　Sir　Richmond。　If　we　set　about　getting　fuel　sanely；　if　we　do　it　as　the　deliberate；　co…operative　act　of　the　whole　species；　then　it　follows　that　we　shall　look　very　closely　into　the　use　that　is　being　made　of　it。　When　all　the　fuel　getting　is　brought　into　one　view　as　a　common　interest；　then　it　follows　that　all　the　fuel　burning　will　be　brought　into　one　view。　At　present　we　are　getting　fuel　in　a　kind　of　scramble　with　no　general　aim。　We　waste　and　lose　almost　as　much　as　we　get。　And　of　what　we　get；　the　waste　is　idiotic。　〃I　won't　trouble　you；〃　said　Sir　Richmond；　〃with　any　long　discourse　on　the　ways　of　getting　fuel　in　this　country。　But　land　as　you　know　is　owned　in　patches　and　stretches　that　were　determined　in　the　first　place　chiefly　by　agricultural　necessities。　When　it　was　divided　up　among　its　present　owners　nobody　was　thinking　about　the　minerals　beneath。　But　the　lawyers　settled　long　ago　that　the　landowner　owned　his　land　right　down　to　the　centre　of　the　earth。　So　we　have　the　superficial　landlord　as　coal　owner　trying　to　work　his　coal　according　to　the　superficial　divisions；　quite　irrespective　of　the　lie　of　the　coal　underneath。　Each　man　goes　for　the　coal　under　his　own　land　in　his　own　fashion。　You　get　three　shafts　where　one　would　suffice　and　none　of　them　in　the　best　possible　place。　You　get　the　coal　coming　out　of　this　point　when　it　would　be　far　more　convenient　to　bring　it　out　at　thatmiles　away。　You　get　boundary　walls　of　coal　between　the　estates；　abandoned；　left　in　the　ground　for　ever。　And　each　coal　owner　sells　his　coal　in　his　own　pettifogging　manner。。。　But　you　know　of　these　things。　You　know　too　how　we　trail　the　coal　all　over　the　country；　spoiling　it　as　we　trail　it；　until　at　last　we　get　it　into　the　silly　coal　scuttles　beside　the　silly；　wasteful；　airpoisoning；　fog…creating　fireplace。　〃And　this　stuff；〃　said　Sir　Richmond；　bringing　his　hand　down　so　smartly　on　the　table　that　the　startled　coffee　cups　cried　out　upon　the　tray；　〃was　given　to　men　to　give　them　power　over　metals；　to　get　knowledge　with；　to　get　more　power　with。〃　〃The　oil　story；　I　suppose；　is　as　bad。〃　〃The　oil　story　is　worse。　。　。　。　〃There　is　a　sort　of　cant；〃　said　Sir　Richmond　in　a　fierce　parenthesis；　〃that　the　supplies　of　oil　are　inexhaustible　that　you　can　muddle　about　with　oil　anyhow。　。　。　。　Optimism　of　knaves　and　imbeciles。　。　。　。　They　don't　want　to　be　pulled　up　by　any　sane　considerations。　。　。　。〃　For　some　moments　he　kept　silenceas　if　in　unspeakable　commination。　〃Here　I　am　with　some　clearness　of　visionmy　only　gift；　not　very　clever；　with　a　natural　bad　temper；　and　a　strong　sexual　bias；　doing　what　I　can　to　get　a　broader　handling　of　the　fuel　questionas　a　common　interest　for　all　mankind。　And　I　find　myself　up　against　a　lot　of　men；　subtle　men；　sharp　men；　obstinate　men；　prejudiced　men；　able　to　get　round　me；　able　to　get　over　me；　able　to　blockade　me。　。　。　。　Clever　menyes；　and　all　of　them　ultimately　damnedoh！　utterly　damnedfools。　Coal　owners　who　think　only　of　themselves；　solicitors　who　think　backwards；　politicians　who　think　like　a　game　of　cat's…　cradle；　not　a　gleam　of　generosity　not　a　gleam。〃　〃What　particularly　are　you　working　for？〃　asked　the　doctor。　〃I　want　to　get　the　whole　business　of　the　world's　fuel　discussed　and　reported　upon　as　one　affair　so　that　some　day　it　may　be　handled　as　one　affair　in　the　general　interest。〃　〃The　world；　did　you　sa