the secret places of the heart-第12章

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ike。　Anyhow　I　do　not　let　myself　go　with　them。　I　have　never　let　myself　go。〃　〃You　lose　something。　You　lose　a　reality　of　insight。〃　There　was　a　thoughtful　interval。　〃Having　found　so　excellent　a　friend；〃　said　the　doctor；　〃why　did　you　ever　part　from　her？〃　Sir　Richmond　seemed　indisposed　to　answer；　but　Dr。　Martineau's　face　remained　slantingly　interrogative。　He　had　found　the　effective　counterattack　and　he　meant　to　press　it。　〃I　was　jealous　of　her；〃　Sir　Richmond　admitted。　〃I　couldn't　stand　that　side　of　it。〃　Section　5　After　a　meditative　silence　the　doctor　became　briskly　professional　again。　〃You　care　for　your　wife；〃　he　said。　〃You　care　very　much　for　your　wife。　She　is；　as　you　say；　your　great　obligation　and　you　are　a　man　to　respect　obligations。　I　grasp　that。　Then　you　tell　me　of　these　women　who　have　come　and　gone。　。　。　。　About　them　too　you　are　perfectly　frank。　。　。　There　remains　someone　else。〃　Sir　Richmond　stared　at　his　physician。　〃Well；〃　he　said　and　laughed。　〃I　didn't　pretend　to　have　made　my　autobiography　anything　more　than　a　sketch。〃　〃No；　but　there　is　a　special　person；　the　current　person。〃　〃I　haven't　dilated　on　my　present　situation；　I　admit。〃　〃From　some　little　things　that　have　dropped　from　you；　I　should　say　there　is　a　child。〃　〃That；〃　said　Sir　Richmond　after　a　brief　pause；　〃is　a　good　guess。〃　〃Not　older　than　three。〃　〃Two　years　and　a　half。〃　〃You　and　this　lady　who　is；　I　guess；　young；　are　separated。　At　any　rate；　you　can't　go　to　her。　That　leaves　you　at　loose　ends；　because　for　some　time；　for　two　or　three　years　at　least；　you　have　ceased　to　behow　shall　I　put　it？an　emotional　wanderer。〃　〃I　begin　to　respect　your　psychoanalysis。〃　〃Hence　your　overwhelming　sense　of　the　necessity　of　feminine　companionship　for　weary　men。　I　guess　she　is　a　very　jolly　companion　to　be　with；　amusing；　restfulinteresting。〃　〃H'm；〃　said　Sir　Richmond。　〃I　think　that　is　a　fair　description。　When　she　cares；　that　is。　When　she　is　in　good　form。〃　〃Which　she　isn't　at　present；〃　hazarded　the　doctor。　He　exploded　a　mine　of　long…pent　exasperation。　〃She　is　the　clumsiest　hand　at　keeping　well　that　I　have　ever　known。　Health　is　a　woman's　primary　duty。　But　she　is　incapable　of　the　most　elementary　precautions。　She　is　maddeningly　receptive　to　every　infection。　At　the　present　moment；　when　I　am　ill；　when　I　am　in　urgent　need　of　help　and　happiness；　she　has　let　that　wretched　child　get　measles　and　she　herself　won't　let　me　go　near　her　because　she　has　got　something　disfiguring；　something　nobody　else　could　ever　have　or　think　of　having；　called　CARBUNCLE。　Carbuncle！〃　〃It　is　very　painful；〃　said　Dr。　Martineau。　〃No　doubt　it　is；〃　said　Sir　Richmond。　〃No　doubt　it　is。〃　His　voice　grew　bitter。　He　spoke　with　deliberation。　〃A　perfectly　aimless；　useless　illness；and　as　painful　as　it　CAN　be。〃　He　spoke　as　if　he　slammed　a　door　viciously。　And　indeed　he　had　slammed　a　door。　The　doctor　realized　that　for　the　present　there　was　no　more　self…dissection　to　be　got　from　Sir　Richmond。　For　some　time　Sir　Richmond　had　been　keeping　the　boat　close　up　to　the　foaming　weir　to　the　left　of　the　lock　by　an　occasional　stroke。　Now　with　a　general　air　of　departure　he　swung　the　boat　round　and　began　to　row　down　stream　towards　the　bridge　and　the　Radiant　Hotel。　〃Time　we　had　tea；〃　he　said；　Section　6　After　tea　Dr。　Martineau　left　Sir　Richmond　in　a　chair　upon　the　lawn；　brooding　darklyapparently　over　the　crime　of　the　carbuncle。　The　doctor　went　to　his　room；　ostensibly　to　write　a　couple　of　letters　and　put　on　a　dinner　jacket；　but　really　to　make　a　few　notes　of　the　afternoon's　conversation　and　meditate　over　his　impressions　while　they　were　fresh。　His　room　proffered　a　comfortable　armchair　and　into　this　he　sank。　。　。　A　number　of　very　discrepant　things　were　busy　in　his　mind。　He　had　experienced　a　disconcerting　personal　attack。　There　was　a　whirl　of　active　resentment　in　the　confusion。　〃Apologetics　of　a　rake；〃　he　tried　presently。　〃A　common　type；　stripped　of　his　intellectual　dressing。　Every　third　manufacturer　from　the　midlands　or　the　north　has　some　such　undertow　of　'affairs。'　A　physiological　uneasiness；　an　imaginative　laxity；　the　temptations　of　the　trip　to　London　weakness　masquerading　as　a　psychological　necessity。　The　Lady　of　the　Carbuncle　seems　to　have　got　rather　a　hold　upon　him。　She　has　kept　him　in　order　for　three　or　four　years。〃　The　doctor　scrutinized　his　own　remarks　with　a　judicious　expression。　〃I　am　not　being　fair。　He　ruffled　me。　Even　if　it　is　true；　as　I　said；　that　every　third　manufacturer　from　the　midlands　is　in　much　the　same　case　as　he　is；　that　does　not　dismiss　the　case。　It　makes　it　a　more　important　one；　much　more　important：　it　makes　it　a　type　case　with　the　exceptional　quality　of　being　self…expressive。　Almost　too　selfexpressive。　〃Sir　Richmond　does；　after　all；　make　out　a　sort　of　case　for　himself。　。　。　。　〃A　valid　case？〃　The　doctor　sat　deep　in　his　chair；　frowning　judicially　with　the　fingers　of　one　hand　apposed　to　the　fingers　of　the　other。　〃He　makes　me　bristle　because　all　his　life　and　ideas　challenge　my　way　of　living。　But　if　I　eliminate　the　personal　element？　〃　He　pulled　a　sheet　of　note…paper　towards　him　and　began　to　jot　down　notes　with　a　silver…cased　pencil。　Soon　he　discontinued　writing　and　sat　tapping　his　pencil…case　on　the　table。　〃The　amazing　selfishness　of　his　attitude！　I　do　not　think　that　oncenot　oncehas　he　judged　any　woman　except　as　a　contributor　to　his　energy　and　peace　of　mind。　。　。　。　Except　in　the　case　of　his　wife。　。　。　。　〃For　her　his　habit　of　respect　was　formed　before　his　ideas　developed。　。　。　。　〃That　I　think　explains　HER。　。　。　。　〃What　was　his　phrase　about　the　unfortunate　young　woman　with　the　carbuncle？　。　。　。　'Totally　Useless　and　unnecessary　illness；'　was　it？　。　。　。　〃Now　has　a　man　any　right　by　any　standards　to　use　women　as　this　man　has　used　them？　〃By　any　standards？〃　The　doctor　frowned　and　nodded　his　head　slowly　with　the　corners　of　his　mouth　drawn　in。　For　some　years　now　an　intellectual　reverie　had　been　playing　an　increasing　part　in　the　good　doctor's　life。　He　was　writing　this　book　of　his；　writing　it　very　deliberately　and　laboriously；　THE　PSYCHOLOGY　OF　A　NEW　AGE；　but　much　more　was　he　dreaming　and　thinking　about　this　book。　Its　publication　was　to　mark　an　epoch　in　human　thought　and　human　affairs　generally；　and　create　a　considerable　flutter　of　astonishment　in　the　doctor's　own　little　world。　It　was　to　bring　home　to　people　some　various　aspects　of　one　very　startling　proposition：　that　human　society　had　arrived　at　a　phase　when　the　complete　restatement　of　its　fundamental　ideas　had　become　urgently　necessary；　a　phase　when　the　slow；　inadequate；　partial　adjustments　to　two　centuries　of　changing　conditions　had　to　give　place　to　a　rapid　reconstruction　of　new　fundamental　ideas。　And　it　was　a　fact　of　great　value　in　the　drama　of　these　secret　dreams　that　the　directive　force　towards　this　fundamentally　reconstructed　world　should　be　the　pen　of　an　unassuming　Harley　Street　physician；　hitherto　not　suspected　of　any　great　excesses　of　enterprise。　The　written　portions　of　this　book　were　already　in　a　highly　polished　state。　They　combined　a　limitless　freedom　of　proposal　with　a　smooth　urbanity　of　manner；　a　tacit　denial　that　the　thoughts　of　one　intelligent　being　could　possibly　be　shocking　to　another。　Upon　this　the　doctor　was　very　insistent。　Conduct；　he　held；　could　never　be　sufficiently　discreet；　thought　could　never　be　sufficient