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（momentary outburst of terrific catfight which drowns out one word。）
Three times a day。
（Renewal of furious catfight for a moment。 The plaintive voice on a high
fierce key； 〃Scat； you devils〃and a racket as of flying missiles。）
〃Well； never mindlet it go。 I've got some sailor…profanity down in
there somewhere； if I could get to it。 But it isn't any matter； you see
how the machine works。〃
Hawkins responded with enthusiasm：
〃O； it works admirably！ I know there's a hundred fortunes in it。〃
〃And mind； the Hawkins family get their share； Washington。〃
〃O； thanks； thanks； you are just as generous as ever。 Ah； it's the
grandest invention of the age！〃
〃Ah； well； we live in wonderful times。 The elements are crowded full of
beneficent forcesalways have beenand ours is the first generation to
turn them to account and make them work for us。 Why Hawkins； everything
is usefulnothing ought ever to be wasted。 Now look at sewer gas； for
instance。 Sewer gas has always been wasted； heretofore； nobody tried to
save up sewer…gasyou can't name me a man。 Ain't that so？ you know
perfectly well it's so。〃
〃Yes it is sobut I nevererI don't quite see why a body〃
〃Should want to save it up？ Well； I'll tell you。 Do you see this little
invention here？it's a decomposerI call it a decomposer。 I give you
my word of honor that if you show me a house that produces a given
quantity of sewer…gas in a day； I'll engage to set up my decomposer there
and make that house produce a hundred times that quantity of sewer…gas in
less than half an hour。〃
〃Dear me； but why should you want to？〃
〃Want to？ Listen； and you'll see。 My boy； for illuminating purposes and
economy combined； there's nothing in the world that begins with sewer…
gas。 And really； it don't cost a cent。 You put in a good inferior
article of plumbing；such as you find everywhereand add my decomposer；
and there you are。 Just use the ordinary gas pipesand there your
expense ends。 Think of it。 Why； Major； in five years from now you won't
see a house lighted with anything but sewer…gas。 Every physician I talk
to； recommends it； and every plumber。〃
〃But isn't it dangerous？〃
〃O； yes； more or less； but everything iscoal gas； candles； electricity
there isn't anything that ain't。〃
〃It lights up well； does it？〃
〃O； magnificently。〃
〃Have you given it a good trial？〃
〃Well； no； not a first rate one。 Polly's prejudiced； and she won't let
me put it in here； but I'm playing my cards to get it adopted in the
President's house； and then it'll godon't you doubt it。 I shall not
need this one for the present； Washington； you may take it down to some
boarding…house and give it a trial if you like。〃
CHAPTER XVIII。
Washington shuddered slightly at the suggestion； then his face took on a
dreamy look and he dropped into a trance of thought。 After a little；
Sellers asked him what he was grinding in his mental mill。
〃Well； this。 Have you got some secret project in your head which
requires a Bank of England back of it to make it succeed？〃
The Colonel showed lively astonishment； and said：
〃Why； Hawkins； are you a mind…reader？〃
〃I？ I never thought of such a thing。〃
〃Well； then how did you happen to drop onto that idea in this curious
fashion？ It's just mind…reading； that's what it is； though you may not
know it。 Because I have got a private project that requires a Bank of
England at its back。 How could you divine that？ What was the process？
This is interesting。〃
〃There wasn't any process。 A thought like this happened to slip through
my head by accident： How much would make you or me comfortable？
A hundred thousand。 Yet you are expecting two or three ofthese
inventions of yours to turn out some billions of moneyand you are
wanting them to do that。 If you wanted ten millions； I could understand
thatit's inside the human limits。 But billions！ That's clear outside
the limits。 There must be a definite project back of that somewhere。〃
The earl's interest and surprise augmented with every word； and when
Hawkins finished； he said with strong admiration：
〃It's wonderfully reasoned out； Washington； it certainly is。 It shows
what I think is quite extraordinary penetration。 For you've hit it；
you've driven the centre； you've plugged the bulls…eye of my dream。 Now
I'll tell you the whole thing； and you'll understand it。 I don't need to
ask you to keep it to yourself； because you'll see that the project will
prosper all the better for being kept in the background till the right
time。 Have you noticed how many pamphlets and books I've got lying
around relating to Russia？〃
〃Yes； I think most anybody would notice thatanybody who wasn't dead。〃
〃Well； I've been posting myself a good while。 That's a great and；
splendid nation； and deserves to be set free。〃 He paused； then added in
a quite matter…of…fact way； 〃 When I get this money I'm going to set it
free。〃
〃Great guns！〃
〃Why； what makes you jump like that？〃
〃Dear me； when you are going to drop a remark under a man's chair that is
likely to blow him out through the roof； why don't you put some
expression； some force； some noise unto it that will prepare him？ You
shouldn't flip out such a gigantic thing as this in that colorless kind
of a way。 You do jolt a person up； so。 Go on； now； I'm all right again。
Tell me all about it。 I'm all interestyes； and sympathy； too。〃
〃Well； I've looked the ground over； and concluded that the methods of the
Russian patriots； while good enough considering the way the boys are
hampered； are not the best； at least not the quickest。 They are trying
to revolutionize Russia from within； that's pretty slow； you know； and
liable to interruption all the time； and is full of perils for the
workers。 Do you know how Peter the Great started his army？ He didn't
start it on the family premises under the noses of the Strelitzes； no； he
started it away off yonder； privately；only just one regiment； you know；
and he built to that。 The first thing the Strelitzes knew； the regiment
was an army； their position was turned； and they had to take a walk。
Just that little idea made the biggest and worst of all the despotisms
the world has seen。 The same idea can unmake it。 I'm going to prove it。
I'm going to get out to one side and work my scheme the way Peter did。〃
〃This is mighty interesting； Rossmore。 What is it you are； going to do？〃
〃I am going to buy Siberia and start a republic。〃
〃There；bang you go again； without giving any notice！ Going to buy it？〃
〃Yes； as soon as I get the money。 I don't care what the price is； I
shall take it。 I can afford it； and I will。 Now then； consider this
and you've never thought of it； I'll warrant。 Where is the place where
there is twenty…five times more manhood； pluck； true heroism；
unselfishness； devotion to high and noble ideals； adoration of liberty；
wide education； and brains； per thousand of population； than any other
domain in the whole world can show？〃
〃Siberia！〃
〃Right。〃
〃It is true； it certainly is true； but I never thought of it before。〃
〃Nobody ever thinks of it。 But it's so； just the sam