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THE CELESTIAL RAILROAD
Not a great while ago； passing through the gate of dreams； I
visited that region of the earth in which lies the famous City of
Destruction。 It interested me much to learn that by the public
spirit of some of the inhabitants a railroad has recently been
established between this populous and flourishing town and the
Celestial City。 Having a little time upon my hands； I resolved to
gratify a liberal curiosity by making a trip thither。
Accordingly； one fine morning after paying my bill at the hotel；
and directing the porter to stow my luggage behind a coach； I
took my seat in the vehicle and set out for the station…house。 It
was my good fortune to enjoy the company of a gentlemanone Mr。
Smooth…it…awaywho； though he had never actually visited the
Celestial City； yet seemed as well acquainted with its laws；
customs； policy； and statistics； as with those of the City of
Destruction； of which he was a native townsman。 Being； moreover；
a director of the railroad corporation and one of its largest
stockholders； he had it in his power to give me all desirable
information respecting that praiseworthy enterprise。
Our coach rattled out of the city； and at a short distance from
its outskirts passed over a bridge of elegant construction； but
somewhat too slight； as I imagined； to sustain any considerable
weight。 On both sides lay an extensive quagmire； which could not
have been more disagreeable either to sight or smell； had all the
kennels of the earth emptied their pollution there。
〃This；〃 remarked Mr。 Smooth…it…away； 〃is the famous Slough of
Desponda disgrace to all the neighborhood； and the greater that
it might so easily be converted into firm ground。〃
〃I have understood；〃 said I； 〃that efforts have been made for
that purpose from time immemorial。 Bunyan mentions that above
twenty thousand cartloads of wholesome instructions had been
thrown in here without effect。〃
〃Very probably！ And what effect could be anticipated from such
unsubstantial stuff？〃 cried Mr。 Smooth…it…away。 〃You observe this
convenient bridge。 We obtained a sufficient foundation for it by
throwing into the slough some editions of books of morality；
volumes of French philosophy and German rationalism； tracts；
sermons； and essays of modern clergymen； extracts from Plato；
Confucius； and various Hindoo sages together with a few ingenious
commentaries upon texts of Scripture；all of which by some
scientific process； have been converted into a mass like granite。
The whole bog might be filled up with similar matter。〃
It really seemed to me； however； that the bridge vibrated and
heaved up and down in a very formidable manner； and； in spite of
Mr。 Smooth…it…away's testimony to the solidity of its foundation；
I should be loath to cross it in a crowded omnibus； especially if
each passenger were encumbered with as heavy luggage as that
gentleman and myself。 Nevertheless we got over without accident；
and soon found ourselves at the stationhouse。 This very neat and
spacious edifice is erected on the site of the little wicket
gate； which formerly； as all old pilgrims will recollect； stood
directly across the highway； and； by its inconvenient narrowness；
was a great obstruction to the traveller of liberal mind and
expansive stomach The reader of John Bunyan will be glad to know
that Christian's old friend Evangelist； who was accustomed to
supply each pilgrim with a mystic roll； now presides at the
ticket office。 Some malicious persons it is true deny the
identity of this reputable character with the Evangelist of old
times； and even pretend to bring competent evidence of an
imposture。 Without involving myself in a dispute I shall merely
observe that； so far as my experience goes； the square pieces of
pasteboard now delivered to passengers are much more convenient
and useful along the road than the antique roll of parchment。
Whether they will be as readily received at the gate of the
Celestial City I decline giving an opinion。
A large number of passengers were already at the station…house
awaiting the departure of the cars。 By the aspect and demeanor of
these persons it was easy to judge that the feelings of the
community had undergone a very favorable change in reference to
the celestial pilgrimage。 It would have done Bunyan's heart good
to see it。 Instead of a lonely and ragged man with a huge burden
on his back； plodding along sorrowfully on foot while the whole
city hooted after him； here were parties of the first gentry and
most respectable people in the neighborhood setting forth towards
the Celestial City as cheerfully as if the pilgrimage were merely
a summer tour。 Among the gentlemen were characters of deserved
eminencemagistrates； politicians； and men of wealth； by whose
example religion could not but be greatly recommended to their
meaner brethren。 In the ladies' apartment； too； I rejoiced to
distinguish some of those flowers of fashionable society who are
so well fitted to adorn the most elevated circles of the
Celestial City。 There was much pleasant conversation about the
news of the day； topics of business and politics； or the lighter
matters of amusement； while religion； though indubitably the main
thing at heart； was thrown tastefully into the background。 Even
an infidel would have heard little or nothing to shock his
sensibility。
One great convenience of the new method of going on pilgrimage I
must not forget to mention。 Our enormous burdens； instead of
being carried on our shoulders as had been the custom of old；
were all snugly deposited in the baggage car； and； as I was
assured； would be delivered to their respective owners at the
journey's end。 Another thing； likewise； the benevolent reader
will be delighted to understand。 It may be remembered that there
was an ancient feud between Prince Beelzebub and the keeper of
the wicket gate； and that the adherents of the former
distinguished personage were accustomed to shoot deadly arrows at
honest pilgrims while knocking at the door。 This dispute； much to
the credit as well of the illustrious potentate above mentioned
as of the worthy and enlightened directors of the railroad； has
been pacifically arranged on the principle of mutual compromise。
The prince's subjects are now pretty numerously employed about
the station…house； some in taking care of the baggage； others in
collecting fuel； feeding the engines； and such congenial
occupations； and I can conscientiously affirm that persons more
attentive to their business； more willing to accommodate； or more
generally agreeable to the passengers； are not to be found on any
railroad。 Every good heart must surely exult at so satisfactory
an arrangement of an immemorial difficulty。
〃Where is Mr。 Greatheart？〃 inquired I。 〃Beyond a doubt the
directors have engaged that famous old champion to be chief
conductor on the railroad？〃
〃Why； no；〃 said Mr。 Smooth…it…away； with a dry cough。 〃He was