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een。 In the country villages it seemed as if every house was scrubbed twice and whitewashed once every day in the week； excepting Sunday。 Some places were almost painfully pure； and I was in one village where horses and cattle were not allowed to go through the streets and no one was permitted to wear their boots or shoes in the houses。 There is a general and constant exercise of brooms； pails； floor…brushes and mops all over Holland； and in some places； even； this kind of thing is carried so far； I am told； that the only trees set out are scrub…oaks。〃
Barnum thought that the reason why his exhibitions were not better patronized here was that the people were too frugal to spend much money for mere amusements。 〃But they and their habits and ways afforded us so much amusement； that we were quite willing they should give our entertainment the 'go by；' as they generally did。 We were in Amsterdam at the season of 'Kremis；' or the annual fair； which is held in all the principal towns； and where shows of all descriptions are open； at prices for admission ranging from one to five pennies； and are attended by nearly the whole population。 For the people generally； this one great holiday seems all…sufficient for the whole year。 I went through scores of booths； where curiosities and monstrosities of all kinds were exhibited； and was able to make some purchases and engagements for the American Museum。 Among these was the Albino family； consisting of a man； his wife； and son； who were by far the most interesting and attractive specimens of their class I had ever seen。
〃We visited the Hague； the capital and the finest city in Holland。 It is handsomely and regularly laid out； and contains a beautiful theatre； a public picture gallery； which contains some of the best works of Vandyke； Paul Potter； and other Dutch masters； while the museum is especially rich in rarities from China and Japan。 When we arrived at the Hague； Mr。 August Belmont； who had been the United States Minister at that court； had just gone home； but I heard many encomiums passed upon him and his family； and I was told some pretty good stories of his familiarity with the king； and of the 'jolly times' these two personages frequently enjoyed together。 I did not miss visiting the great government museum； as I wished particularly to see the rich collection of Japan ware and arms； made during the many years when the Dutch carried on almost exclusively the entire foreign trade with the Japanese。 I spent several days in minutely examining these curious manufactures of a people who were then almost as little known to nations generally as are the inhabitants of the planet Jupiter。〃
On the first day of his visits to this museum； Barnum stood for an hour before a large case containing a most unique and extraordinary collection of fabulous animals； made from paper and other materials； and looking as natural and genuine as the stuffed skins of any animals in the American Museum。 There were serpents two yards long； with a head and a pair of feet at each end； frogs as large as a man； with human hands and feet； turtles with three heads； monkeys with two heads and six legs； scores of equally curious monstrosities； and at least two dozen mermaids； of all sorts and sizes。 Looking at these 〃sirens〃 he easily divined from whence the Feejee mermaid originated。
After a delightful visit in Holland； he went back to England； and proceeding to Manchester； opened his exhibition。 For several days the hall was crowded to overflowing at each of the three； and sometimes four； entertainments they gave every day。 By this time； his wife and two youngest daughters had come over to London； and he hired furnished lodgings in the suburbs where they could live within the strictest limits of economy。 It was necessary now for him to return for a few weeks to America； to assist personally in forwarding a settlement of the clock difficulties。 So leaving the little General in the hands of trusty and competent agents to carry on the exhibitions in his absence； he set his face once more towards home and the west； and took steamer at Liverpool for New York。
CHAPTER XXVIII。 HOME AGAIN。
JOLLY VOYAGEMOCK TRIALS ON SHIPBOARDBARNUM ON TRIAL FOR HIS LIFEDISCOMFITED WITNESSES AND A TRIUMPHANT PRISONERFAIR WEATHER FRIENDSTHE BURNING OF IRANISTAN
Barnum made in his life many voyages across the Atlantic； but none； perhaps； pleasanter than this。 On every such trip he got under rest and relief from his multitudinous business cares and arduous labors； and he always contrived to organize plenty of merry…making among his fellow…passengers。 On this occasion he felt in uncommonly good spirits because he was so rapidly retrieving his well…nigh fallen fortunes。 The feature of the voyage was a series of mock trials； in which a judge was selected； jurymen drawn； prisoners arraigned； counsel employed； and all the formalities of a court established。 〃I have the vanity to think；〃 said he； afterwards； in telling in his own inimitable way the story of this voyage； 〃that if my good fortune had directed me to that profession； I should have made a very fair lawyer for I have always had a great fondness for debate and especially for the cross…examination of witnesses； unless that witness was P。 T。 Barnum in examination under supplementary proceedings at the instance of some note shaver； who had bought a clock note at a discount of thirty…six per cent。 In this mock court； I was unanimously chosen as prosecuting attorney； and； as the court was established expressly to convict； I had no difficulty in carrying the jury and securing the punishment of the prisoner。 A small fine was generally imposed； and the fund thus collected was given to a poor sailor boy who had fallen from the mast and broken his leg。〃
〃After several of these trials had been held； a dozen or more of the passengers secretly put their heads together and resolved to place the 'showman' on trial for his life。 An indictment； covering twenty pages； was drawn up by several legal gentlemen among the passengers； charging him with being the Prince of Humbugs； and enumerating a dozen special counts； containing charges of the most absurd and ridiculous description。 Witnesses were then brought together； and privately instructed what to say and do。 Two or three days were devoted to arranging this mighty prosecution； 'When everything was ready； I was arrested； and the formidable indictment read to me。 I saw at a glance that time and talent had been brought into requisition； and that my trial was to be more elaborate than any that had preceded it。 I asked for half an hour to prepare for my defense； which was granted。 Meanwhile； seats were arranged to accommodate the court and spectators； and extra settees were placed for the ladies on the upper deck； where they could look down； see and hear all that transpired。 Curiosity was on tip…toe； for it was evident that this was to be a long； exciting and laughable trial。 At the end of half an hour the judge was on the bench the jury had taken their places； the witnesses were ready； the counsel for the prosecution； four in number； with pens； ink； and paper in profusion； were seated； and everything seemed ready。 I was brought in by a spec