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a swarm of hornets attacked me。 Attaining the altitude of another bog I was cheered by the assurance that there was only a quarter of a mile of this kind of travel to the edge of my property。 I waded on。 In about fifteen minutes more; after floundering through the morass; I found myself half…drowned; hornet…stung; mud covered; and out of breath; on comparatively dry land。
〃 'Never mind; my boy;' said Edmund; 'we have only to cross this little creek; and ye'll be upon your own valuable property。'
〃We were on the margin of a stream; the banks of which were thickly covered with alders。 I now discovered the use of Edmund's axe; for he felled a small oak to form a temporary bridge to my 'Island' property。 Crossing over; I proceeded to the centre of my domain。 I saw nothing but a few stunted ivies and straggling trees。 The truth flashed upon me。 I had been the laughing…stock of the family and neighborhood for years。 My valuable 'Ivy Island' was an almost inaccessible; worthless bit of barren land; and while I stood deploring my sudden downfall; a huge black snake (one of my tenants) approached me with upraised head。 I gave one shriek and rushed for the bridge。
〃This was my first and last visit to 'Ivy Island。' My father asked me 'how I liked my property?' and I responded that I would sell it pretty cheap。〃
The year 1822 was a memorable one in his childhood's history。 He was then about twelve years old。 One evening; late in January; Daniel Brown; a cattle…drover; of Southbury; Connecticut; arrived at Bethel and stopped for the night at Philo Barnum's tavern。 He had with him some fat cattle; which he was driving to the New York markets; and he wanted both to add to his drove of cattle and to get a boy to help him drive them。 Our juvenile hero heard him say this; and forthwith made application for the job。 His father and mother gave their consent; and a bargain was quickly closed with the drover。
〃At daylight next morning;〃 Barnum himself has related; 〃I started on foot in the midst of a heavy snow…storm to help drive the cattle。 Before reaching Ridgefield I was sent on horseback after a stray ox; and; in galloping; the horse fell and my ankle was sprained。 I suffered severely; but did not complain lest my employer should send me back。 We arrived at New York in three or four days; and put up at the Bull's Head Tavern; where we were to stay a week while the drover disposed of his cattle。 It was an eventful week for me。 Before I left home my mother had given me a dollar; which I supposed would supply every want that heart could wish。〃
His first outlay was for oranges。 〃I was told;〃 he says; 〃that they were four pence apiece; and as four pence in Connecticut was six cents; I offered ten cents for two oranges; which was of course readily taken; and thus; instead of saving two cents; as I thought; I actually paid two cents more than the price demanded。 I then bought two more oranges; reducing my capital to eighty cents。 Thirty…one cents was the charge for a small gun which would 'go off' and send a stick some little distance; and this gun I bought。 Amusing myself with this toy in the bar…room of the Bull's Head; the arrow happened to hit the bar…keeper; who forthwith came from behind the counter and shook me; and soundly boxed my ears; telling me to put that gun out of the way or he would put it into the fire。 I sneaked to my room; put my treasure under the pillow; and went out for another visit to the toy shop。
〃There I invested six cents in 'torpedoes;' with which I intended to astonish my schoolmates in Bethel。 I could not refrain; however; from experimenting upon the guests of the hotel; which I did when they were going in to dinner。 I threw two of the torpedoes against the wall of the hall through which the guests were passing; and the immediate results were as follows: two loud reportsastonished guestsirate landlorddiscovery of the culprit; and summary punishmentfor the landlord immediately floored me with a single blow with his open hand; and said:
〃 'There; you little greenhorn; see if that will teach you better than to explode your infernal fire…crackers in my house again。'
〃The lesson was sufficient if not entirely satisfactory。 I deposited the balance of the torpedoes with my gun; and as a solace for my wounded feelings I again visited the toy shop; where I bought a watch; breastpin and top; leaving but eleven cents of my original dollar。
〃The following morning found me again at the fascinating toy shop; where I saw a beautiful knife with two blades; a gimlet; and a corkscrewa whole carpenter shop in miniature; and all for thirty…one cents。 But; alas! I had only eleven cents。 Have that knife I must; however; and so I proposed to the shop…woman to take back the top and breastpin at a slight deduction; and with my eleven cents to let me have the knife。 The kind creature consented; and this makes memorable my first 'swap。' Some fine and nearly white molasses candy then caught my eye; and I proposed to trade the watch for its equivalent in candy。 The transaction was made; and the candy was so delicious that before night my gun was absorbed in the same way。 The next morning the torpedoes 'went off' in the same direction; and before night even my beloved knife was similarly exchanged。 My money and my goods all gone; I traded two pocket…handkerchiefs and an extra pair of stockings I was sure I should not want for nine more rolls of molasses candy; and then wandered about the city disconsolate; sighing because there was no more molasses candy to conquer。〃
During that first visit to the metropolis the boy doubtless many times passed the corner of Ann street and Broadway; where; in after years; his famous museum stood。 After a week in town he returned to Bethel; riding with Brown in his sleigh; and found himself a social lion among his young friends。 He was plied with a thousand questions about the great city which he had visited; and no doubt told many wondrous tales。 But at home his reception was not altogether glorious。 His brothers and sisters were disappointed because he brought them nothing; and his mother; discovering that during his journey he had lost two handkerchiefs and a pair of stockings; gave him a spanking and put him to bed。
A settled aversion to manual labor was strongly developed in the boy as he grew older; which his father considered simple laziness。 Instead of trying to cure him of his laziness; however; the father decided to give up the farm; and open a store; hoping that the boy would take more kindly to mercantile duties。 So he put up a building in Bethel; and in partnership with one Hiram Weed opened a 〃general store;〃 of dry goods; hardware; groceries; etc。; and installed young Phineas as clerk。 They did a 〃cash; credit and barter〃 business; and the boy soon learned to drive sharp bargains with women who brought butter; eggs; beeswax and feathers to exchange for dry goods; and with men who wanted to trade oats; corn; buckwheat; axehelves; hats and other commodities for ten…penny nails; molasses or New England rum。 It was a drawback upon his dignity that he was obliged to take down the shutters; sweep the store and make the fire。 He received a small salary for his services and the p