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I have caught and put in with his brothers and sisters （whom he
never recognises） so frequently and regularly that I am familiar
with every joint in his body？
In the first place； with my own small bump of locality and lack of
geography； I would never willingly consume a creature who might； by
some strange process of assimilation； make me worse in this
respect； in the second place； I should have to be ravenous indeed
to sit down deliberately and make a meal of an intimate friend； no
matter if I had not a high opinion of his intelligence。 I should
as soon think of eating the Square Baby； stuffed with sage and
onion and garnished with green apple…sauce； as the yellow duckling
or the idiot gosling。
Mrs。 Heaven has just called me into her sitting…room； ostensibly to
ask me to order breakfast； but really for the pleasure of
conversation。 Why she should inquire whether I would relish some
gammon of bacon with eggs； when she knows that there has not been；
is not now； and never will be； anything but gammon of bacon with
eggs； is more than I can explain。
〃Would you like to see my flowers； miss？〃 she asks； folding her
plump hands over her white apron。 〃They are looking beautiful this
morning。 I am so fond of potted plants； of plants in pots。 Look
at these geraniums！ Now； I consider that pink one a perfect bloom；
yes； a perfect bloom。 This is a fine red one； is it not； miss？
Especially fine； don't you think？ The trouble with the red variety
is that they're apt to get 〃bobby〃 and have to be washed regularly；
quite bobby they do get indeed； I assure you。 That white one has
just gone out of blossom； and it was really wonderful。 You could
'ardly have told it from a paper flower； miss； not from a white
paper flower。 My plants are my children nowadays； since Albert
Edward is my only care。 I have been the mother of eleven children；
miss； all of them living； so far as I know； I know nothing to the
contrary。 I 'ope you are not wearying of this solitary place；
miss？ It will grow upon you； I am sure； as it did upon Mrs。
Pollock； with all her peculiar fancies； and as it 'as grown upon
us。We formerly had a butcher's shop in Buffington； and it was
naturally a great responsibility。 Mr。 Heaven's nerves are not
strong； and at last he wanted a life of more quietude； more
quietude was what he craved。 The life of a retail butcher is a
most exciting and wearying one。 Nobody satisfied with their meat；
as if it mattered in a world of change！ Everybody complaining of
too much bone or too little fat； nobody wishing tough chops or
cutlets； but always seeking after fine joints； when it's against
reason and nature that all joints should be juicy and all cutlets
tender； always complaining if livers are not sent with every fowl；
always asking you to remember the trimmin's； always wanting their
beef well 'ung； and then if you 'ang it a minute too long； it's
left on your 'ands！ I often used to say to Mr。 Heaven； yes many's
the time I've said it； that if people would think more of the great
'ereafter and less about their own little stomachs； it would be a
deal better for them； yes； a deal better； and make it much more
comfortable for the butchers！〃
* * *
Burd Alane has had a good quarter of an hour to…day。
His spouse took a brief promenade with him。 To be sure； it was
during an absence of the flock on the other side of the hedge so
that the moral effect of her spasm of wifely loyalty was quite lost
upon them。 I strongly suspect that she would not have granted
anything but a secret interview。 What a petty； weak； ignoble
character！ I really don't like to think so badly of any fellow…
creature as I am forced to think of that politic； time…serving；
pusillanimous goose。 I believe she laid the egg that produced the
idiot gosling！
CHAPTER IX
Here follows the true story of Sir Muscovy Drake； the Lady Blanche；
and Miss Malardina Crippletoes。
Phoebe's flock consisted at first mostly of Brown Mallards； but a
friend gave her a sitting of eggs warranted to produce a most
beautiful variety of white ducks。 They were hatched in due time；
but proved hard to raise； till at length there was only one
survivor； of such uncommon grace and beauty that we called her the
Lady Blanche。 Presently a neighbour sold Phoebe his favourite
Muscovy drake； and these two splendid creatures by 〃natural
selection〃 disdained to notice the rest of the flock； but forming a
close friendship； wandered in the pleasant paths of duckdom
together； swimming and eating quite apart from the others。
In the brown flock there was one unfortunate； misshapen from the
egg； quite lame； and with no smoothness of plumage； but on that
very account； apparently； or because she was too weak to resist
them； the others treated her cruelly； biting her and pushing her
away from the food。
One day it happened that the two ducksSir Muscovy and Lady
Blanchehad come up from the water before the others； and having
taken their repast were sitting together under the shade of a
flowering currant…bush； when they chanced to see poor Miss
Crippletoes very badly used and crowded away from the dish。 Sir
Muscovy rose to his feet； a few rapid words seemed to pass between
him and his mate； and then he fell upon the other drake and the
heartless minions who had persecuted the helpless one； drove them
far away out of sight； and； returning； went to the corner where the
victim was cowering； her face to the wall。 He seemed to whisper to
her； or in some way to convey to her a sense of protection； for
after a few moments she tremblingly went with him to the dish； and
hurriedly ate her dinner while he stood by； repulsing the advances
of the few brown ducks who remained near and seemed inclined to
attack her。
When she had eaten enough Lady Blanche joined them； and they went
down the hill together to their favourite swimming…place。 After
that Miss Crippletoes always followed a little behind her
protectors； and thus shielded and fed she grew stronger and well…
feathered； though she was always smaller than she should have been
and had a lowly manner； keeping a few steps in the rear of her
superiors and sitting at some distance from their noon resting…
place。
Phoebe noticed after a while that Lady Blanche was seldom to be
seen； and Sir Muscovy and Miss Crippletoes often came to their
meals without her。 The would…be mother refused to inhabit the
house Phoebe had given her； and for a long time the place she had
chosen for her sitting could not be found。 At length the Square
Baby discovered her in a most ideal spot。 A large boulder had
dropped years ago into the brook that fills our duck…pond； dropped
and split in halves with the two smooth walls leaning away from
each other。 A grassy bank towered behind； and on either side of
the opening； tall bushes made a miniature forest where the romantic
mother could brood her treasures while her two guardians enjoyed
the water close by her retreat。
All this happened before my coming to Thornycroft Farm； but it was
I who named the hero and heroines of the romance when Phoebe had
told me all the particulars。 Yesterday morning I was sitting by my
open