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have supposed me？ That my father is not dead； as you probably
imagine； that he is working for his living as one among a peculiarly
stigmatized and ridiculed multitude？
'Had he been a brawny cottager； carpenter； mason； blacksmith； well…
digger； navvy； tree…fellerany effective and manly trade； in short；
a worker in which can stand up in the face of the noblest and
daintiest； and bare his gnarled arms and say； with a consciousness
of superior power； 〃Look at a real man！〃 I should have been able to
show you antecedents which； if not intensely romantic； are not
altogether antagonistic to romance。 But the present fashion of
associating with one particular class everything that is ludicrous
and bombastic overpowers me when I think of it in relation to myself
and your known sensitiveness。 When the well…born poetess of good
report melts into。 。 。'
Having got thus far； a faint…hearted look； which had begun to show
itself several sentences earlier； became pronounced。 She threw the
writing into the dull fire； poked and stirred it till a red
inflammation crept over the sheet； and then started anew：
'DEAR MR。 JULIAN；Not knowing your present rank as composer
whether on the very brink of fame； or as yet a long way offI
cannot decide what form of expression my earnest acknowledgments
should take。 Let me simply say in one short phrase； I thank you
infinitely！
'I am no musician； and my opinion on music may not be worth much：
yet I know what I like （as everybody says； but I do not use the
words as a form to cover a hopeless blank on all connected with the
subject）； and this sweet air I love。 You must have glided like a
breeze about meseen into a heart not worthy of scrutiny； jotted
down words that cannot justify attentionbefore you could have
apotheosized the song in so exquisite a manner。 My gratitude took
the form of wretchedness when； on hearing the effect of the ballad
in public this evening； I thought that I had not power to withhold a
reply which might do us both more harm than good。 Then I said；
〃Away with all emotionI wish the world was drained dry of itI
will take no notice；〃 when a lady whispered at my elbow to the
effect that of course I had expressed my gratification to you。 I
ought first to have mentioned that your creation has been played to…
night to full drawing…rooms； and the original tones cooled the
artificial air like a fountain almost。
'I prophesy great things of you。 Perhaps； at the time when we are
each but a row of bones in our individual graves； your genius will
be remembered； while my mere cleverness will have been long
forgotten。
'Butyou must allow a woman of experience to say thisthe
undoubted power that you possess will do you socially no good unless
you mix with it the ingredient of ambitiona quality in which I
fear you are very deficient。 It is in the hope of stimulating you
to a better opinion of yourself that I write this letter。
'Probably I shall never meet you again。 Not that I think
circumstances to be particularly powerful to prevent such a meeting；
rather it is that I shall energetically avoid it。 There can be no
such thing as strong friendship between a man and a woman not of one
family。
'More than that there must not be； and this is why we will not meet。
You see that I do not mince matters at all； but it is hypocrisy to
avoid touching upon a subject which all men and women in our
position inevitably think of； no matter what they say。 Some women
might have written distantly； and wept at the repression of their
real feeling； but it is better to be more frank； and keep a dry
eye。Yours； ETHELBERTA。'
Her feet felt cold and her heart weak as she directed the letter；
and she was overpowered with weariness。 But murmuring； 'If I let it
stay till the morning I shall not send it； and a man may be lost to
fame because of a woman's squeamishnessit shall go；' she partially
dressed herself； wrapped a large cloak around her； descended the
stairs； and went out to the pillar…box at the corner； leaving the
door not quite close。 No gust of wind had realized her misgivings
that it might be blown shut on her return； and she re…entered as
softly as she had emerged。
It will be seen that Ethelberta had said nothing about her family
after all。
10。 LADY PETHERWIN'S HOUSE
The next day old Lady Petherwin； who had not accompanied Ethelberta
the night before； came into the morning…room； with a newspaper in
her hand。
'What does this mean； Ethelberta？' she inquired in tones from which
every shade of human expressiveness was extracted by some awful and
imminent mood that lay behind。 She was pointing to a paragraph
under the heading of 'Literary Notes；' which contained in a few
words the announcement of Ethelberta's authorship that had more
circumstantially appeared in the Wessex Reflector。
'It means what it says；' said Ethelberta quietly。
'Then it is true？'
'Yes。 I must apologize for having kept it such a secret from you。
It was not done in the spirit that you may imagine： it was merely
to avoid disturbing your mind that I did it so privately。'
'But surely you have not written every one of those ribald verses？'
Ethelberta looked inclined to exclaim most vehemently against this；
but what she actually did say was； '〃Ribald〃what do you mean by
that？ I don't think that you are aware what 〃ribald〃 means。'
'I am not sure that I am。 As regards some words as well as some
persons； the less you are acquainted with them the more it is to
your credit。'
'I don't quite deserve this； Lady Petherwin。'
'Really； one would imagine that women wrote their books during those
dreams in which people have no moral sense； to see how improper
some； even virtuous； ladies become when they get into print。'
'I might have done a much more unnatural thing than write those
poems。 And perhaps I might have done a much better thing； and got
less praise。 But that's the world's fault； not mine。'
'You might have left them unwritten； and shown more fidelity。'
'Fidelity！ it is more a matter of humour than principle。 What has
fidelity to do with it？'
'Fidelity to my dear boy's memory。'
'It would be difficult to show that because I have written so…called
tender and gay verse； I feel tender and gay。 It is too often
assumed that a person's fancy is a person's real mind。 I believe
that in the majority of cases one is fond of imagining the direct
opposite of one's principles in sheer effort after something fresh
and free； at any rate； some of the lightest of those rhymes were
composed between the deepest fits of dismals I have ever known。
However； I did expect that you might judge in the way you have
judged； and that was my chief reason for not telling you what I had
done。'
'You don't deny that you tried to escape from recollections you
ought to have cherished？ There is only one thing that women of your
sort are as ready to do as to take a man's name； and that is； drop
his memory。'
'Dear Lady Petherwindon't be so unreasonable as to blame a live
person for living！ No woman's head is so small as to be filled for
life by a memory of a few months。 Four years have passed since I
last s