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〃He is concerned with graver matters than his ears。 He is going
to be a minister； you know。〃
〃Well； I suppose the Lord doesn't regard the ears of a man；〃
said Aunt Jamesina gravely； dropping all further criticism of
Moody Spurgeon。 Aunt Jamesina had a proper respect for the
cloth even in the case of an unfledged parson。
Chapter XXXVIII
False Dawn
〃Just imagine this night week I'll be in Avonlea delightful thought！〃
said Anne； bending over the box in which she was packing Mrs。 Rachel Lynde's
quilts。 〃But just imagine this night week I'll be gone forever from
Patty's Place horrible thought！〃
〃I wonder if the ghost of all our laughter will echo through the maiden
dreams of Miss Patty and Miss Maria；〃 speculated Phil。
Miss Patty and Miss Maria were coming home； after having trotted over
most of the habitable globe。
〃We'll be back the second week in May〃 wrote Miss Patty。 〃I expect
Patty's Place will seem rather small after the Hall of the Kings at
Karnak； but I never did like big places to live in。 And I'll be glad
enough to be home again。 When you start traveling late in life you're
apt to do too much of it because you know you haven't much time left；
and it's a thing that grows on you。 I'm afraid Maria will never be
contented again。〃
〃I shall leave here my fancies and dreams to bless the next comer；〃
said Anne； looking around the blue room wistfully her pretty blue
room where she had spent three such happy years。 She had knelt at
its window to pray and had bent from it to watch the sunset behind
the pines。 She had heard the autumn raindrops beating against it
and had welcomed the spring robins at its sill。 She wondered if
old dreams could haunt rooms if； when one left forever the room
where she had joyed and suffered and laughed and wept； something
of her； intangible and invisible； yet nonetheless real； did not
remain behind like a voiceful memory。
〃I think；〃 said Phil； 〃that a room where one dreams and grieves
and rejoices and lives becomes inseparably connected with those
processes and acquires a personality of its own。 I am sure if I
came into this room fifty years from now it would say 'Anne； Anne'
to me。 What nice times we've had here； honey！ What chats and
jokes and good chummy jamborees！ Oh； dear me！ I'm to marry Jo
in June and I know I will be rapturously happy。 But just now
I feel as if I wanted this lovely Redmond life to go on forever。〃
〃I'm unreasonable enough just now to wish that； too；〃 admitted Anne。
〃No matter what deeper joys may come to us later on we'll never again
have just the same delightful； irresponsible existence we've had here。
It's over forever； Phil。〃
〃What are you going to do with Rusty？〃 asked Phil； as that
privileged pussy padded into the room。
〃I am going to take him home with me and Joseph and the Sarah…cat；〃
announced Aunt Jamesina； following Rusty。 〃It would be a shame
to separate those cats now that they have learned to live together。
It's a hard lesson for cats and humans to learn。〃
〃I'm sorry to part with Rusty；〃 said Anne regretfully； 〃but it
would be no use to take him to Green Gables。 Marilla detests
cats； and Davy would tease his life out。 Besides； I don't
suppose I'll be home very long。 I've been offered the
principalship of the Summerside High School。〃
〃Are you going to accept it？〃 asked Phil。
〃I I haven't decided yet；〃 answered Anne； with a confused flush。
Phil nodded understandingly。 Naturally Anne's plans could not be
settled until Roy had spoken。 He would soon there was no doubt
of that。 And there was no doubt that Anne would say 〃yes〃 when he
said 〃Will you please？〃 Anne herself regarded the state of affairs
with a seldom…ruffled complacency。 She was deeply in love with Roy。
True； it was not just what she had imagined love to be。 But was
anything in life； Anne asked herself wearily； like one's imagination
of it？ It was the old diamond disillusion of childhood repeated
the same disappointment she had felt when she had first seen the
chill sparkle instead of the purple splendor she had anticipated。
〃That's not my idea of a diamond；〃 she had said。 But Roy was a
dear fellow and they would be very happy together； even if some
indefinable zest was missing out of life。 When Roy came down that
evening and asked Anne to walk in the park every one at Patty's
Place knew what he had come to say； and every one knew； or thought
they knew； what Anne's answer would be。
〃Anne is a very fortunate girl；〃 said Aunt Jamesina。
〃I suppose so；〃 said Stella； shrugging her shoulders。 〃Roy is a
nice fellow and all that。 But there's really nothing in him。〃
〃That sounds very like a jealous remark； Stella Maynard；〃 said
Aunt Jamesina rebukingly。
〃It does but I am not jealous；〃 said Stella calmly。 〃I love
Anne and I like Roy。 Everybody says she is making a brilliant
match； and even Mrs。 Gardner thinks her charming now。 It all
sounds as if it were made in heaven； but I have my doubts。
Make the most of that； Aunt Jamesina。〃
Roy asked Anne to marry him in the little pavilion on the harbor
shore where they had talked on the rainy day of their first meeting。
Anne thought it very romantic that he should have chosen that spot。
And his proposal was as beautifully worded as if he had copied it；
as one of Ruby Gillis' lovers had done； out of a Deportment of
Courtship and Marriage。 The whole effect was quite flawless。
And it was also sincere。 There was no doubt that Roy meant
what he said。 There was no false note to jar the symphony。
Anne felt that she ought to be thrilling from head to foot。
But she wasn't； she was horribly cool。 When Roy paused
for his answer she opened her lips to say her fateful yes。
And then she found herself trembling as if she were reeling
back from a precipice。 To her came one of those moments when we
realize； as by a blinding flash of illumination； more than all
our previous years have taught us。 She pulled her hand from Roy's。
〃Oh； I can't marry you I can't I can't；〃 she cried； wildly。
Roy turned pale and also looked rather foolish。 He had
small blame to him felt very sure。
〃What do you mean？〃 he stammered。
〃I mean that I can't marry you；〃 repeated Anne desperately。
〃I thought I could but I can't。〃
〃Why can't you？〃 Roy asked more calmly。
〃Because I don't care enough for you。〃
A crimson streak came into Roy's face。
〃So you've just been amusing yourself these two years？〃 he said slowly。
〃No； no； I haven't；〃 gasped poor Anne。 Oh； how could she explain？
She COULDN'T explain。 There are some things that cannot be explained。
〃I did think I cared truly I did but I know now I don't。〃
〃You have ruined my life；〃 said Roy bitterly。
〃Forgive me；〃 pleaded Anne miserably； with hot cheeks and
stinging eyes。
Roy turned away and stood for a few minutes looking out seawar