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Ruby grew paler as the summer waned； the White Sands school was
given up 〃her father thought it better that she shouldn't
teach till New Year's〃 and the fancy work she loved oftener
and oftener fell from hands grown too weary for it。 But she was
always gay； always hopeful； always chattering and whispering of
her beaux； and their rivalries and despairs。 It was this that
made Anne's visits hard for her。 What had once been silly or
amusing was gruesome； now； it was death peering through a wilful
mask of life。 Yet Ruby seemed to cling to her； and never let her
go until she had promised to come again soon。 Mrs。 Lynde
grumbled about Anne's frequent visits； and declared she would
catch consumption； even Marilla was dubious。
〃Every time you go to see Ruby you come home looking tired out；〃
she said。
〃It's so very sad and dreadful；〃 said Anne in a low tone。 〃Ruby
doesn't seem to realize her condition in the least。 And yet I
somehow feel she needs help craves it and I want to give it
to her and can't。 All the time I'm with her I feel as if I were
watching her struggle with an invisible foe trying to push it
back with such feeble resistance as she has。 That is why I come
home tired。〃
But tonight Anne did not feel this so keenly。 Ruby was strangely
quiet。 She said not a word about parties and drives and dresses
and 〃fellows。〃 She lay in the hammock； with her untouched work
beside her； and a white shawl wrapped about her thin shoulders。
Her long yellow braids of hair how Anne had envied those
beautiful braids in old schooldays！ lay on either side of her。
She had taken the pins out they made her head ache； she said。
The hectic flush was gone for the time； leaving her pale and childlike。
The moon rose in the silvery sky； empearling the clouds
around her。 Below； the pond shimmered in its hazy radiance。
Just beyond the Gillis homestead was the church； with the old
graveyard beside it。 The moonlight shone on the white stones；
bringing them out in clear…cut relief against the dark trees behind。
〃How strange the graveyard looks by moonlight！〃 said Ruby suddenly。
〃How ghostly！〃 she shuddered。 〃Anne； it won't be long now before
I'll be lying over there。 You and Diana and all the rest will be
going about； full of life and I'll be there in the old graveyard
dead！〃
The surprise of it bewildered Anne。 For a few moments she could not speak。
〃You know it's so； don't you？〃 said Ruby insistently。
〃Yes； I know；〃 answered Anne in a low tone。 〃Dear Ruby； I know。〃
〃Everybody knows it；〃 said Ruby bitterly。 〃I know it I've
known it all summer； though I wouldn't give in。 And； oh； Anne〃
she reached out and caught Anne's hand pleadingly； impulsively
〃I don't want to die。 I'm AFRAID to die。〃
〃Why should you be afraid； Ruby？〃 asked Anne quietly。
〃Because because oh； I'm not afraid but that I'll go to
heaven； Anne。 I'm a church member。 But it'll be all so
different。 I think and think and I get so frightened
and and homesick。 Heaven must be very beautiful； of course；
the Bible says so but； Anne； IT WON'T BE WHAT I'VE BEEN USED TO。〃
Through Anne's mind drifted an intrusive recollection of a funny
story she had heard Philippa Gordon tell the story of some old
man who had said very much the same thing about the world to come。
It had sounded funny then she remembered how she and
Priscilla had laughed over it。 But it did not seem in the
least humorous now； coming from Ruby's pale； trembling lips。
It was sad； tragic and true！ Heaven could not be what Ruby had
been used to。 There had been nothing in her gay； frivolous life；
her shallow ideals and aspirations； to fit her for that great change；
or make the life to come seem to her anything but alien and
unreal and undesirable。 Anne wondered helplessly what she could
say that would help her。 Could she say anything？ 〃I think； Ruby；〃
she began hesitatingly for it was difficult for Anne to speak
to any one of the deepest thoughts of her heart； or the new
ideas that had vaguely begun to shape themselves in her mind；
concerning the great mysteries of life here and hereafter；
superseding her old childish conceptions； and it was hardest of
all to speak of them to such as Ruby Gillis 〃I think； perhaps；
we have very mistaken ideas about heaven what it is and what
it holds for us。 I don't think it can be so very different from
life here as most people seem to think。 I believe we'll just go
on living； a good deal as we live here and be OURSELVES just
the same only it will be easier to be good and to follow
the highest。 All the hindrances and perplexities will be taken
away； and we shall see clearly。 Don't be afraid； Ruby。〃
〃I can't help it；〃 said Ruby pitifully。 〃Even if what you say
about heaven is true and you can't be sure it may be only
that imagination of yours it won't be JUST the same。 It CAN'T be。
I want to go on living HERE。 I'm so young； Anne。 I haven't had
my life。 I've fought so hard to live and it isn't any use
I have to die and leave EVERYTHING I care for。〃 Anne sat
in a pain that was almost intolerable。 She could not tell
comforting falsehoods； and all that Ruby said was so horribly
true。 She WAS leaving everything she cared for。 She had laid up
her treasures on earth only； she had lived solely for the little
things of life the things that pass forgetting the great
things that go onward into eternity； bridging the gulf between
the two lives and making of death a mere passing from one
dwelling to the other from twilight to unclouded day。 God
would take care of her there Anne believed she would learn
but now it was no wonder her soul clung； in blind helplessness；
to the only things she knew and loved。
Ruby raised herself on her arm and lifted up her bright； beautiful
blue eyes to the moonlit skies。
〃I want to live；〃 she said； in a trembling voice。 〃I want to
live like other girls。 I I want to be married； Anne and
and have little children。 You know I always loved babies； Anne。
I couldn't say this to any one but you。 I know you understand。
And then poor Herb he he loves me and I love him； Anne。
The others meant nothing to me； but HE does and if I could
live I would be his wife and be so happy。 Oh； Anne； it's hard。〃
Ruby sank back on her pillows and sobbed convulsively。 Anne
pressed her hand in an agony of sympathy silent sympathy；
which perhaps helped Ruby more than broken； imperfect words could
have done； for presently she grew calmer and her sobs ceased。
〃I'm glad I've told you this； Anne；〃 she whispered。 〃It has
helped me just to say it all out。 I've wanted to all summer
every time you came。 I wanted to talk it over with you but
I COULDN'T。 It seemed as if it would make death so SURE if I
SAID I was going to die； or if any one else said it or hinted it。
I wouldn't say it； or even think it。 In the daytime； when people