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say a good thing till you come。 But prithee； dear rogue； make haste；
prithee make haste； I shall burst else。 And yonder your uncle； my Lord
Touchwood； swears he'll disinherit you； and Sir Paul Plyant threatens to
disclaim you for a son…in…law； and my Lord Froth won't dance at your
wedding to…morrow； nor； the deuce take me； I won't write your
Epithalamiumand see what a condition you're like to be brought to。
MEL。 Well； I'll speak but three words； and follow you。
BRISK。 Enough； enough。 Careless； bring your apprehension along
with you。
SCENE III。
MELLEFONT； CARELESS。
CARE。 Pert coxcomb。
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MEL。 Faith； 'tis a good…natured coxcomb； and has very entertaining
follies。 You must be more humane to him； at this juncture it will do me
service。 I'll tell you； I would have mirth continued this day at any rate；
though patience purchase folly； and attention be paid with noise； there are
times when sense may be unseasonable as well as truth。 Prithee do thou
wear none to…day； but allow Brisk to have wit； that thou may'st seem a
fool。
CARE。 Why； how now； why this extravagant proposition？
MEL。 Oh； I would have no room for serious design； for I am jealous
of a plot。 I would have noise and impertinence keep my Lady
Touchwood's head from working： for hell is not more busy than her
brain； nor contains more devils than that imaginations。
CARE。 I thought your fear of her had been over。 Is not to…morrow
appointed for your marriage with Cynthia； and her father； Sir Paul Plyant；
come to settle the writings this day on purpose？
MEL。 True； but you shall judge whether I have not reason to be
alarmed。 None besides you and Maskwell are acquainted with the secret
of my Aunt Touchwood's violent passion for me。 Since my first refusal
of her addresses she has endeavoured to do me all ill offices with my uncle；
yet has managed 'em with that subtilty； that to him they have borne the
face of kindness； while her malice； like a dark lanthorn； only shone upon
me where it was directed。 Still； it gave me less perplexity to prevent the
success of her displeasure than to avoid the importunities of her love； and
of two evils I thought myself favoured in her aversion。 But whether
urged by her despair and the short prospect of time she saw to accomplish
her designs； whether the hopes of revenge； or of her love； terminated in
the view of this my marriage with Cynthia； I know not； but this morning
she surprised me in my bed。
CARE。 Was there ever such a fury！ 'Tis well nature has not put it
into her sex's power to ravish。 Well； bless us； proceed。 What followed？
MEL。 What at first amazed mefor I looked to have seen her in all
the transports of a slighted and revengeful womanbut when I expected
thunder from her voice； and lightning in her eyes； I saw her melted into
tears and hushed into a sigh。 It was long before either of us spoke：
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THE DOUBLE…DEALERA COMEDY
passion had tied her tongue； and amazement mine。 In short； the
consequence was thus； she omitted nothing that the most violent love
could urge； or tender words express； which when she saw had no effect；
but still I pleaded honour and nearness of blood to my uncle； then came
the storm I feared at first； for； starting from my bed…side like a fury； she
flew to my sword； and with much ado I prevented her doing me or herself
a mischief。 Having disarmed her； in a gust of passion she left me； and in a
resolution； confirmed by a thousand curses； not to close her eyes till they
had seen my ruin。
CARE。 Exquisite woman！ But what the devil； does she think thou
hast no more sense than to get an heir upon her body to disinherit thyself？
for as I take it this settlement upon you is； with a proviso； that your uncle
have no children。
MEL。 It is so。 Well； the service you are to do me will be a pleasure
to yourself： I must get you to engage my Lady Plyant all this evening；
that my pious aunt may not work her to her interest。 And if you chance to
secure her to yourself； you may incline her to mine。 She's handsome； and
knows it； is very silly； and thinks she has sense； and has an old fond
husband。
CARE。 I confess； a very fair foundation for a lover to build upon。
MEL。 For my Lord Froth； he and his wife will be sufficiently taken
up with admiring one another and Brisk's gallantry； as they call it。 I'll
observe my uncle myself； and Jack Maskwell has promised me to watch
my aunt narrowly； and give me notice upon any suspicion。 As for Sir
Paul； my wise father…in…law that is to be； my dear Cynthia has such a share
in his fatherly fondness； he would scarce make her a moment uneasy to
have her happy hereafter。
CARE。 So you have manned your works； but I wish you may not
have the weakest guard where the enemy is strongest。
MEL。 Maskwell； you mean； prithee why should you suspect him？
CARE。 Faith I cannot help it； you know I never liked him： I am a
little superstitious in physiognomy。
MEL。 He has obligations of gratitude to bind him to me： his
dependence upon my uncle is through my means。
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CARE。 Upon your aunt； you mean。
MEL。 My aunt！
CARE。 I'm mistaken if there be not a familiarity between them you
do not suspect； notwithstanding her passion for you。
MEL。 Pooh； pooh！ nothing in the world but his design to do me
service； and he endeavours to be well in her esteem； that he may be able to
effect it。
CARE。 Well； I shall be glad to be mistaken； but your aunt's aversion
in her revenge cannot be any way so effectually shown as in bringing forth
a child to disinherit you。 She is handsome and cunning and naturally
wanton。 Maskwell is flesh and blood at best； and opportunities between
them are frequent。 His affection to you； you h