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HOTEL A place where a guest often gives up good dollars for poor
quarters。
HOUSECLEANING A domestic upheaval that makes it easy for the
government to enlist all the soldiers it needs。
HUG A roundabout way of expressing affection。
HUMOR An outbreak； either of skin or brains frequently branded as
Rash。
HUNGER Ability to eat in a Night Lunch Cart。
HUSBAND The next thing to a wife。 From Eng。 hussy； woman； and
bond； tie。 Tied to a woman。
HYDRANT From Grk。 hudros； water； and Eng。 ante； to give up。
Something that gives up water。 （A good synonym for Dipsomaniac）。
HYPOCRITE A horse dealer。 From Grk。 hippos； horse； and kroteo； to
beat。 One who beats you on a horse trade。
Home is where the mortgage is。
I
Aim at a chorus…girl and you may hit a star。Stage…Door Secrets。
ICE A substance frequently associated with a tumble in winter； a
tumbler in summer； and a skate the year around。
ICEMAN A cool proposition who has Axe…cess to the best families；
makes his Weigh in every home and can take his Pick in the kitchen；
if he leaves his Chips in the street。 〃How'd You Like to be The
Iceman？〃
IDIOT From Eng。 idea； and out。 One who is just out of ideas。
IDLE Useless。
IDOLIZE To make useless。
IMPECUNIOUS To be in a state of poverty。 From Eng。 in； and Lat。
pecco； to sin； poverty being the greatest of all sins。
IMPERIOUS From Eng。 imp； devil and aerial； airy。 Airy as the
devil。
INCANDESCENT LIGHT From Lat。 incendo； to burn； and Eng。 cent；
meaning money。 An invention for burning money。
INCOME The reliable offspring of a wise investment。 From Lat。 in
and coma； meaning sleep。 Money which works while you sleep。
INDEPENDENCE Self government。 Good enough for a Cuban； but too
good for a Filipino。
INDIGESTION A distressing stomach trouble that is sometimes
temporarily relieved by kicking the cat or whipping the children。
INDIVIDUALITY A harmless trait possessed by one's self。 The same
trait in others is downright idiocy。
INDORSE To write on the back of； the best indorsed man in town
being the Sandwich…Man。
INFANT A disturber of the peace。
INFANTRY A defender of the peace。
INHABITANT A native of any village； town or city。 OLDEST
INHABITANT The Champion Liar。
INTUITION A fictitious quality in femalesreally Suspicion。
IRRITANT Something which irritates。 COUNTER IRRITANT A woman
shopping。
ISLAND A place where the bottom of the sea sticks up through the
water。
ISOLATION From Eng。 ice； meaning cold； and Lat。 solus； alone。
Alone in the cold。
After dinner sit a while； after supper walk a mile。 And every
meal's a supper to the Hobo。
J
Lies have no legsThat's why we all have to stand for them。
JACK An instrument requiring a strong arm； and used for raising
heavy weights； or for pulling off the boots。
JACK…POT An instrument requiring a strong hand； and used for
raising heavy bets； or for pulling off the stakes。
JAG From the Spanish word zaga； meaning a load packed on the
outside of a van。 In America the load is packed on the inside of a
man。
JAM A pantry composition in A minor。
JANITOR From jangle； to quarrel； and torrid； meaning hot。 Hot and
quarrelsome。
JELLY…CAKE Synonym for Belly…Ache。
JERSEY Well knit。 NEW JERSEY Well bit。 （See Mosquito）。
JEW'S HARP From Jew； a Hebrew； and Harp； a musical instrument； the
Jew's musical instrumentbeing a 〃Sell low！〃 （Old spelling；
Cello）。
JIMMY An implement employed by men of acquisitive natures who
cannot afford seats in the Stock Exchange。
JOB An uncertain commodity regulated by a Union Card。
JOCKEY From jog； to move slowly； and key； something that makes
fast。 Hence； one who makes the pace fast or slow； according to
instructions。
JOINT Either a low limb from the butcher； or a low quarter in
town； in either case the lower the tougher。
JOKE A form of humor enjoyed by some and misunderstood by most； in
England； requiring a diagram； raised letters and a club。
JOLLY v。 t。； To 〃con〃 or 〃josh。〃
JOLLY BOAT The Ship of State。
JUDGE One who sits on a bench in a court； frames sentences and
finishes crooks for a living； and swears continually。
JULEP An insidious friend from the South； who hands you a mint and
gives you a sweet spirit； followed shortly by a Bun。
JURY Twelve men chosen to decide who has the better lawyer。
JUSTICE Fair play； often sought； but seldom discovered； in company
with Law。
A chip of the old blockA daughter of the Tenderloin。
K
One man's meat is another man's finishCanned Beef in Cuba。
KANGAROO A hard drinker from Australia； especially fond of hops；
and generally carrying a load。
KATYDID A gossiping grasshopper who is always meddling in Katy's
affairs。
KEEPSAKE Something given us by someone we've forgotten。
KERNELS or COLONELS Articles often found in cores （or corps） and
frequently surrounded by shells。
KEROSENE An alleged provider of heat and light。 From Lat。 carus；
meaning expensive and seneo； to be weak； expensive but weak。 For
further explanation； consult Standard Oil Company。
KEYHOLE A frequent test for sobriety。
KID Either a boxing…glove or a first…born。 In either case； hard
to handle until well tanned。
KILTS A Scotchman's apology for indecent exposure。
KINDRED From Eng。 kin； meaning relation； and dread； meaning fear；
fearful relations。
KINDERGARTEN From Ger。 kinder； children； and Lat。 garritus； a
babbling。 A place for babbling children。
KINDLING…WOOD From Ger。 kind； youth； and Eng。 linger； to loaf。 A
place where youth generally loafs。
KISS Nothing divided by two； meaning persecution for the infant；
ecstasy for the youth； fidelity for the middle…aged and homage for
the old。
KISS An indescribable something that is of no value to any one；
but is much prized by the right two。
KNOCKER A device on doors for rousing people； also； a device on
foot for the same purpose。
Laugh…in…one's…sleeveThe direct route to the Funny…Bone。
L
Two heads are better than oneparticularly on a Barrel of Money。
LACE Among women； lace means lesson； wherefore they combine art
and thrift by
lessening the waist。
LACONIC Shy on words。 From Eng。 lack； meaning want； and
connection； want of connection。
LAMP A light。
LAMPONED To be lighted on。
LARD Fat。
LARDER A fattener。
LARK A short； sweet spree enjoyed by night hawks。 Also； an early
rising singing…bird。 （Dist。 bet。 〃out on a lark；〃 and 〃up with the
lark；〃 an impossible combination）。
LASSIE One of the weaker sex。
LASSITUDE Slightly weaker。
LAUD Praise for the Almighty。
LAUDANUM Prays for himselfafter taking。
LAUNDRY A place where clothes are mangled。
LAUGH A peculiar contortion of the human countenance； voluntary or
involuntary； super…induced by a concatenation of external
circumstances； seen or heard； of a ridiculous； ludicrous； jocose；
mirthful； funny； facetious or fanciful nature and accompanied by a
cackle； chuckle； chortle； cachinnation； giggle； gurgle； guffaw or
roar。
LAWYER One who defends your estate against an enemy； in order to
appropriate it to himself。
LEC