按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
FAINT A woman's bluff。
FAITH A mental accomplishment whereby an ear…ache becomes a
Symphony Concert； a broken finger a diamond ring and a 〃touch〃 an
invitation to dine。
FAKE A false report。
FAKIR A false reporter。
FAME Having a brand of cigars named after you。
FAMILY Originally a wife and several children； a matter of pride
to the possessor。 Now obsolete among the careful； or confined to
the wife； a bull pup and a canary bird。
FARE The cost of a ride。 See old adage； 〃Only the brave can work
their fare。〃
FAULT About the only thing that is often found where it does not
exist。
FICTION The Constitutional fiat that 〃all men are created equal。〃
FIDDLER A violinist before he becomes the virtuoso who refuses to
play a real tune。
FIRMNESS That admirable quality in ourselves that is detestable
stubbornness in others。
FIG Nothing。 Note； 〃I don't care a fig；〃 etc。
FIG LEAF A small outer garment； next to nothing； worn by Adam 4000
B。 C。 and occasionally revived by Bostonian Art Committees。
FISHING An heroic treatment tried by some laymen to avoid falling
asleep in church on Sunday。
FLAT A series of padded cells； commonly found in cities； in which
are confined harmless monomaniacs who imagine Home to be a Sardine
Box。
FLATTERY Cologne water； to be smelled of but not swallowed。
FLUE An escape for hot air。
FLUENCY The art of releasing the same。
FLUSH From Grk。 phlox； heat。 A rush of color to the cheek； or
hand； caused by bodilyor pokerheat。
FLY A familiar summer boarder who mingles with the cream of
society； gets stuck on the butter and leaves his specs behind。
FLY…SCREEN An arrangement for keeping flies in the house。
FOOT The understanding of a girl from the west。
FOOT…PATH Chicago； Ill。
FOOTBALL A clever subterfuge for carrying on prize…fights under
the guise of a reputable game。
FOREIGNER One who is eligible to the police force。 From Grk。
fero； to carry off； and enara； spoils。 One who carries off the
spoils。
FORBEARANCE The spirit of toleration shown when a man who knows；
patiently listens to a fool who does not。
FRANC Twenty cents； in French。
FRANKFURTERS Four for twenty； in German。 Derived from frank；
open； and fortitude； meaning brave。 Sold in the open and eaten by
the brave。
FROST An old flame after the engagement is broken off。
FUN Joy。
FUNCTION Devoid of joy。
As ye sew； so shall ye rip。
G
Money makes the mayor go。Proverbs of Politics。
GALLON From the Fr。 galonner； to make tight。 Note； one is
sufficient。
GALLANTRY This word is now almost obsolete。 It was formerly
employed to express a deferential attention on the part of the man
who in a crowded car gave up his seat to the ladies。
GAMBLER From the Grk。 gumnos； stripped to the skin。 And the
gambler's the one that does it。
GARDEN From the Fr。 garantir； to make good。 Hence； a place where
lovers make good。
GARLIC From Grk。 gar； for； and Lat。 liceor； to bid。 Good for the
biddies。
GEM A breakfast muffin。 With the newly married； syn。 for 〃a
precious stone。〃
GERM A bit of animal life living in water。
GERMAN More animal life； living on beer。
GIRAFFE The champion rubber…neck of the world； and the longest
thirst on record。
GLOBE An all…round proposition which has furnished its
shareholders a living for several thousand years； though its stock
is two…thirds water。
GOAT The honored founder and oldest inhabitant of Harlem； N。 Y。
Elsewhere； not in good odor。
GOLF An excuse for carrying unconcealed weapons and a Scotch
breath。
GONDOLA A pleasure craft which plies in Venice； at World's Fairs
and other popular watering places。 From Eng。 gone； and Lat。 dolor；
sadness； or Eng。 dollar。 Sadness gone； also； a gone dollar。
GORE Blood。 Shed daily in Chicago abattoirs but never spilled in
French duels。
GOSSIP Derived either from the Grk。 gups； vulture； or Fr。 gosier；
wind…pipe。 Hence； a vulture that tears its prey to bits； or an
exercise of the wind…pipe from which every victim gets a blow。
GOUT The undesirable scion of High Living； which frequent the
lowest joints and is mentioned only in the Invalid's Foot…Notes。
GOWN From Lat。 gaudium； joy。 A thing of beauty and a joy forever；
if from Paris； generally an article of some Worth。
GUNPOWDER A black substance much employed in marking the boundary
lines of nations。
GUM A substance for sticking。
GUM…GAME A game in which some one is stuck。
GUTTER A school in which we may study the dregs of humanity or
read the reflection of the stars。
There's many a slip twixt the toe and the heel。
H
Where there's a will there's a lawsuit。
HAIR…DRESSER A linguist whose position in life enables him to do
his head…work with his hands。
HAMMER A small； busy implement carried by blacksmiths； geologists
and Knockers for breaking iron； rock or friendship。
HAMMOCK From the Lat。 hamus； hook； and Grk。 makar； happy。
Happiness on hooks。 Also； a popular contrivance whereby lovemaking
may be suspended but not stopped during the picnic season。
HAND A much desired possession； supplied by The Damsel or The
Dealer。 GLAD HAND。 The beggar's plea； the politician's sceptre
and the drummer's ablest assistant。
HANDMAIDEN A manicure。
HARANGUE The tiresome product of a tireless tongue。 From Eng。
hear； and Lat。 angor； pain。 Painful to hear。
HARMONY From the Grk。 arnumi； strain。 Hence； full of strains。
HASH ？
HATCH To develop eggs。
HATCHWAY Place for developing eggs； a hen…coop。
HAY…FEVER A heart trouble caused by falling in love with a grass
widow。
HEARSE Seen on the dead。
HEARSAY Heard on the dead。
HEARSE A handsome vehicle in which the man who has always been a
tail…ender is finally permitted to lead the procession。
HEART A bloody organ； kept in a trunk； played by beats； and
enjoyed only after it is lost or given away
HEAVE To raise。
HEAVEN A good place to be raised to。
HEDGE A fence。
HEDGEHOG One who hogs the fences。 A Bill…Poster。
HELL Poverty。
HEREDITY The cause of all our faults。 From Fr。 here； wretch； and
Eng。 ditty； song。 The song of the wretched。
HEROISM A transferable ticket to the Haul of Fame。 Once held by
Hobson and Dewey； now carried by Mother Eddy and Brother Dowie。
HIP A popular location for the retail liquor business。
HISTORY The evil that men do。
HIT A chance for first place； first base or first blood。
HOCK v。 t。 To 〃soak〃 what we least need。 In Germany； they
generally 〃Hock the Kaiser。〃
HOMOEOPATHY See Allopathy。
HOOT MON！ The Scottish National Hymn。
HOP To skip。
HOPPER A skipper。
HOPE A desire for better things to come that makes a grass widow
willing to try it again。 Also； a draft on futurity； sometimes
honored； but generally extended。
HORN A sharp point。
HORNET Still sharper。
HORSE…SENSE A degree of wisdom that keeps one from betting on the
races。
HOSE Man's excuse for wetting the walk。
HOSIERY Woman's excuse for walking in the wet。
HOTEL A place where a guest often gives up good dollars for poor
quarters。
HOUSECLEANING A d