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words I closed the vice on him。 I had got Mr。 Nugent Dubourg！
He turned deadly pale。 His eyes dropped before mine for the first time。
〃Thank you for reminding me；〃 he said。 〃I _had_ forgotten。〃
He pronounced those submissive words in a suddenly…lowered voice。
Something in his tone； or something in the dropping of his eyes； set my
heart beating quickly； with a certain vague expectation which I was
unable to realize to myself。
〃You agree with me；〃 I said； 〃that you cannot be one amongst us at the
rectory？ What will you do？〃
〃I will remain at Browndown；〃 he answered。
I felt he was lying。 Don't ask for my reasons： I have no reasons to give。
When he said 〃I will remain at Browndown；〃 I felt he was lying。
〃Why not do what Oscar asks of you？〃 I went on。 〃If you are absent； you
may as well be in one place as in another。 There is plenty of time still
to leave Dimchurch。〃
He looked up as suddenly as he had looked down。
〃Do you and Oscar think me a stock or a stone？〃 he burst out angrily。
〃What do you mean？〃
〃Who are you indebted to for what is going to happen to…day？〃 he went on；
more and more passionately。 〃You are indebted to Me。 Who among you all
stood alone in refusing to believe that she was blind for life？ _I_ did！
Who brought the man here who has given her back her sight？ _I_ brought
the man！ And I am the one person who is to be left in ignorance of how it
ends。 The others are to be present： I am to be sent away。 The others are
to see it： I am to hear by post （if any of you think of writing to me）
what she does； what she says； how she looks； at the first heavenly moment
when she opens her eyes on the world。〃 He flung up his hand in the air；
and burst out savagely with a bitter laugh。 〃I astonish you； don't I？ I
am claiming a position which I have no right to occupy。 What interest can
_I_ feel in it？ Oh God！ what do _I_ care about the woman to whom I have
given a new life？〃 His voice broke into a sob at those last wild words。
He tore at the breast of his coat as if he was suffocatingand turned；
and left me。
I stood rooted to the spot。 In one breathless instant； the truth broke on
me like a revelation。 At last I had penetrated the terrible secret。
Nugent loved her。
My first impulse； when I recovered myself； hurried me at the top of my
speed back to the rectory。 For a moment or two； I think I must really
have lost my senses。 I felt a frantic suspicion that he had gone into the
house； and that he was making his way to Lucilla at that moment。 When I
found that all was quietwhen Zillah had satisfied me that no visitor
had come near our side of the rectoryI calmed down a little； and went
back to the garden to compose myself before I ventured into Lucilla's
presence。
After awhile； I got over the first horror of it； and saw my own position
plainly。 There was not a living soul at Dimchurch in whom I could
confide。 Come what might of it； in this dreadful emergency； I must trust
in myself alone。
I had just arrived at that startling conclusion； I had shed some bitter
tears when I remembered how hardly I had judged poor Oscar on more than
one occasion； I had decided that my favorite Nugent was the most hateful
villain living； and that I would leave nothing undone that the craft of a
woman could compass to drive him out of the placewhen I was forced back
to present necessities by the sound of Zillah's voice calling to me from
the house。 I went to her directly。 The nurse had a message for me from
her young mistress。 My poor Lucilla was lonely and anxious： she was
surprised at my leaving her； she insisted on seeing me immediately。
I took my first precaution against a surprise from Nugent； as I crossed
the threshold of the door。
〃Our dear child must not be disturbed by visitors to…day；〃 I said to
Zillah。 〃If Mr。 Nugent Dubourg comes here and asks for herdon't tell
Lucilla； tell _me。_〃
This said； I went up…stairs； and joined my darling in the darkened room。
CHAPTER THE THIRTY…FIFTH
Lucilla tries her Sight
SHE was sitting alone in the dim light； with the bandage over her eyes；
with her pretty hands crossed patiently on her lap。 My heart swelled in
me as I looked at her； and felt the horrid discovery that I had made
still present in my mind。 〃Forgive me for leaving you；〃 I said in as
steady a voice as I could command at the momentand kissed her。
She instantly discovered my agitation； carefully as I thought I had
concealed it。
〃You are frightened too！〃 she exclaimed； taking my hands in hers。
〃Frightened； my love？〃 I repeated。 （I was perfectly stupefied； I really
did not know what to say！）
〃Yes。 Now the time is so near； I feel my courage failing me。 I forbode
all sorts of horrible things。 Oh！ when will it be over？ what will Oscar
look like when I see him？〃
I answered the first question。 Who could answer the second？
〃Herr Grosse comes to us by the morning train；〃 I said。 〃It will soon be
over。〃
〃Where is Oscar？〃
〃On his way here； I have no doubt。〃
〃Describe him to me once more；〃 she said eagerly。 〃For the last time；
before I see。 His eyes； his hair； his complexioneverything！〃
How I should have got through the painful task which she had innocently
imposed on me； if I had attempted to perform it； I hardly like to think。
To my infinite relief； I was interrupted at my first word by the opening
of the door； and the sudden appearance of a family deputation in the
room。
First； strutting with slow and solemn steps； with one hand laid
pathetically on the breast of his clerical waistcoat； appeared Reverend
Finch。 After him； came his wife； shorn of all her proper
accompanimentsexcept the baby。 Without her novel； without her jacket；
petticoat； or shawl； without even the handkerchief which she was always
losingclothed； for the first time in my experience； in a complete
gownthe metamorphosis of damp Mrs。 Finch was complete。 But for the
baby； I believe I should have taken her； in the dim light； for a
stranger！ She stood （apparently doubtful of her reception） hesitating in
the doorway； and so hiding a third member of the deputationwho appealed
piteously to the general notice in a small voice which I knew well； and
in a form of address familiar to me from past experience。
〃Jicks wants to come in。〃
The rector took his hand from his waistcoat； and held it up in faint
protest against the intrusion of the third member。 Mrs。 Finch moved
mechanically into the room。 Jicks appeared； hugging her disreputable
doll； and showing signs of recent wandering in the white dust which
dropped on the carpet from her frock and her shoes； as she advanced
towards the place in which I was sitting。 Arrived in front of me； she
peered quaintly up at my face； through the obscurity of the room； lifted
her doll by the legs； hit me a smart rap with the head of it on my knee；
and said
〃Jicks will sit here。〃
I rubbed my knee； and enthroned Jicks as ordered。 At the same time Mr。
Finch solemnly stalked up to his daughter； laid his hands on her head；
raised his eyes to the ceiling； and said in bass notes that rumbled with
paternal emotion； 〃Bless you； my child！〃
At the sound of her husband's magnificent voice； Mrs。 Finch