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time will have gone by for ever。 He has told us in the plainest
termswhen once the operation is performed； nothing must be said to
agitate or distress her； for months afterwards。 The preservation of her
tranquillity is the condition of the recovery of her sight。 You will soon
have an excuse for your silence； Mr。 Oscar Dubourg！〃
The tone in which I said those last words stung him to some purpose。
〃Spare your sneers； you heartless Frenchwoman！〃 he broke out angrily。 〃I
don't care how I stand in _your_ estimation。 Lucilla loves me。 Nugent
feels for me。〃
My vile temper instantly hit on the most merciless answer that I could
make to him in return。
〃Ah； poor Lucilla！〃 I said。 〃What a much happier prospect hers might have
been！ What a thousand pities it is that she is not going to marry your
brother； instead of marrying _you！_〃
He winced under that reply； as if I had cut him with a knife。 His head
dropped on his breast。 He started back from me like a beaten dogand
suddenly and silently left the room。
I had not been a minute by myself； before my anger cooled。 I tried to
keep it hot； I tried to remember that he had aspersed my nation in
calling me a 〃heartless Frenchwoman。〃 No！ it was not to be done。 In spite
of myself； I repented what I had said to him。
In a moment more； I was out on the stairs to try if I could overtake him。
I was too late。 I heard the garden…gate bang； before I was out of the
house。 Twice I approached the gate to follow him。 And twice I drew back；
in the fear of making bad worse。 It ended in my returning to the
sitting…room； very seriously dissatisfied with myself。
The first welcome interruption to my solitude camenot from Lucillabut
from the old nurse。 Zillah appeared with a letter for me： left that
moment at the rectory by the servant from Browndown。 The direction was in
Oscar's handwriting。 I opened the envelope； and read these words：
〃MADAME PRATOLUNGO；YOU have distressed and pained me more than I can
say。 There are faults； and serious ones； on my side； I know。 I heartily
beg your pardon for anything that I may have said or done to offend you。
I cannot submit to your hard verdict on me。 If you knew how I adore
Lucilla； you would make allowances for meyou would understand me better
than you do。 I cannot get your last cruel words out of my ears。 I cannot
meet you again without some explanation of them。 You stabbed me to the
heart； when you said to me this evening that it would be a happier
prospect for Lucilla if she had been going to marry my brother instead of
marrying me。 I hope you did not really mean that？ Will you please write
and tell me whether you did or not？
〃OSCAR。〃
Write and tell him？ It was absurd enoughwhen we were within a few
minutes' walk of each otherthat Oscar should prefer the cold formality
of a letter； to the friendly ease of a personal interview。 Why could he
not have called； and spoken to me？ We should have made it up together far
more comfortably in that wayand in half the time。 At any rate； I
determined to go to Browndown； and be good friends again； viva^…voce；
with this poor； weak； well…meaning； ill…judging boy。 Was it not monstrous
to have attached serious meaning to what Oscar had said when he was in a
panic of nervous terror！ His tone of writing so keenly distressed me that
I resented his letter on that very account。 It was one of the chilly
evenings of an English June。 A small fire was burning in the grate。 I
crumpled up the letter； and threw it； as I supposed； into the fire。
（After…events showed that I only threw it into a corner of the fender
instead。） Then； I put on my hat； without stopping to think of Lucilla； or
of what she was writing for the post； and ran off to Browndown。
Where do you think I found him？ Locked up in his own room！ His insane
shynessit was really nothing lessmade him shrink from that very
personal explanation which （with such a temperament as mine） was the only
possible explanation under the circumstances。 I had to threaten him with
forcing his door； before I could get him to show himself； and take my
hand。
Once face to face with him； I soon set things right。 I really believe he
had been half mad with his own self…imposed troubles； when he had
declared he would give me the lie at the door of Lucilla's room。
It is needless to dwell on what took place between us。 I shall only say
here that I had serious reason； at a later timeas you will soon seeto
regret not having humoured Oscar's request that I should reconcile myself
to him by writing； instead of by word of mouth。 If I had only placed on
record； in pen and ink； what I actually said in the way of making
atonement to him； I might have spared some suffering to myself and to
others。 As it was； the only proof that I had absolved myself in his
estimation consisted in his cordially shaking hands with me at the door；
when I left him。
〃Did you meet Nugent？〃 he asked； as he walked with me across the
enclosure in front of the house。
I had gone to Browndown by a short cut at the back of the garden； instead
of going through the village。 Having mentioned this； I asked if Nugent
had returned to the rectory。
〃He went back to see you；〃 said Oscar。
〃Why？〃
〃Only his usual kindness。 He takes your views of things。 He laughed when
he heard I had sent a letter to you； and he ran off （dear fellow！） to see
you on my behalf。 You must have met him； if you had come here by the
village。〃
On getting back to the rectory； I questioned Zillah。 Nugent； in my
absence； had run up into the sitting…room； had waited there a few minutes
alone； on the chance of my return； had got tired of waiting； and had gone
away again。 I inquired about Lucilla next。 A few minutes after Nugent had
gone； she had left her room； and she too had asked for me。 Hearing that I
was not to be found in the house； she had given Zillah a letter to
postand had then returned to her bed…chamber。
I happened to be standing by the hearth； looking into the dying fire；
while the nurse was speaking。 Not a vestige of Oscar's letter to me （as I
now well remember） was to be seen。 In my position； the plain conclusion
was that I had really done what I supposed myself to have donethat is
to say； thrown the letter into the flames。
Entering Lucilla's room； soon afterwards； to make my apologies for having
forgotten to wait and take her letter to the post； I found her； weary
enough after the events of the day； getting ready for bed。
〃I don't wonder at your being tired of waiting for me；〃 she said。
〃Writing is long； long work for me。 But this was a letter which I felt
bound to write myself； if I could。 Can you guess who I am corresponding
with？ It is done； my dear！ I have written to Herr Grosse！〃
〃Already！〃
〃What is there to wait for？ What is there left to determine on？ I have
told Herr Grosse that our family consultation is over； and that I am
entirely at his disposal for any length of time he may think right。 And I
warn him； if he attempts to put it off； that he will be only forcing on
me the inconvenience of going to him in London。 I have expressed that
part of my letter stronglyI can tell you！ He will get it to…morrow； by
the afternoo