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married life here。 And let me go to the atmosphere that is fitter for
methe atmosphere of London or Paris。〃
He sighed； and fixed his eyes absently on the open hilly view from the
summer…house door。
〃It's strange to see _you_ depressed；〃 I said。 〃Your spirits seemed to be
quite inexhaustible on that first evening when you interrupted Mr。 Finch
over _Hamlet。_〃
He threw away the end of his cigar； and laughed bitterly。
〃We artists are always in extremes；〃 he said。 〃What do you think I was
wishing just before you spoke to me？〃
〃I can't guess。〃
〃I was wishing I had never come to Dimchurch！〃
Before I could return a word； on my side； Lucilla's voice reached our
ears； calling to me from the garden。 Nugent instantly sprang to his feet。
〃Have we said all we need say？〃 he asked。
〃Yesfor to…day； at any rate。〃
〃For to…day； thengood…bye。〃
He leapt up； caught the cross…bar of wood over the entrance to the
summer…house； and； swinging himself on to the low garden…wall beyond；
disappeared in the field on the other side。 I answered Lucilla's call；
and hastened away to find her。 We met on the lawn。 She looked wild and
pale； as if something had frightened her。
〃Anything wrong at the rectory？〃 I asked。
〃Nothing wrong；〃 she answered〃except with Me。 The next time I complain
of fatigue； don't advise me to go and lie down on my bed。〃
〃Why not？ I looked in at you； before I came out here。 You were fast
asleepthe picture of repose。〃
〃Repose？ You never were more mistaken in your life。 I was in the agony of
a horrid dream。〃
〃You were perfectly quiet when I saw you。〃
〃It must have been after you saw me； then。 Let me come and sleep with you
to…night。 I daren't be by myself； if I dream of it again。〃
〃What did you dream of？〃
〃I dreamt that I was standing； in my wedding dress； before the altar of a
strange church； and that a clergyman whose voice I had never heard
before； was marrying me〃 She stopped； impatiently waving her hand
before her in the air。 〃Blind as I am；〃 she said； 〃I see him again now！〃
〃The bridegroom？〃
〃Yes。〃
〃Oscar？〃
〃No。〃
〃Who then？〃
〃Oscar's brother。 Nugent Dubourg。〃
（Have I mentioned before； that I am sometimes a great fool？ If I have
not； I beg to mention it now。 I burst out laughing。）
〃What is there to laugh at？〃 she asked angrily。 〃I saw his hideous；
discolored faceI am never blind in my dreams！ I felt his blue hand put
the ring on my finger。 Wait！ The worst part of it is to come。 I married
Nugent Dubourg willinglymarried him without a thought of my engagement
to Oscar。 Yes！ yes！ I know it's only a dream。 I can't bear to think of
it； for all that。 I don't like to be false to Oscar even in a dream。 Let
us go to him。 I want to hear him tell me that he loves me。 Come to
Browndown。 I'm so nervous； I don't like going by myself。 Come to
Browndown！〃
I have another humiliating confession to makeI tried to get off going
to Browndown。 （So like those unfeeling French people； isn't it？）
But I had my reason too。 If I disapproved of the resolution at which
Nugent had arrived； I viewed far more unfavorably the selfish weakness on
Oscar's part； which had allowed his brother to sacrifice himself。
Lucilla's lover had sunk to something very like a despicable character in
my estimation。 I felt that I might let him see what I thought of him； if
I found myself in his company at that moment。
〃Considering the object that you have in view； my dear；〃 I said to
Lucilla； 〃do you think you want _me_ at Browndown？〃
〃Haven't I already told you？〃 she asked impatiently。 〃I am so nervousso
completely upsetthat I don't feel equal to going out by myself。 Have
you no sympathy for me？ Suppose _you_ had dreamed that you were marrying
Nugent instead of Oscar？〃
〃Ah； bah！ what of that？ I should only have dreamed that I was marrying
the most agreeable man of the two。〃
〃The most agreeable man of the two！ There you are againalways unjust to
Oscar。〃
〃My love！ if you could see for yourself； you would learn to appreciate
Nugent's good qualities； as I do。〃
〃I prefer appreciating Oscar's good qualities。〃
〃You are prejudiced； Lucilla。〃
〃So are you！〃
〃You happen to have met Oscar first。〃
〃That has nothing to do with it。〃
〃Yes！ yes！ If Nugent had followed us； instead of Oscar； if； of those two
charming voices which are both the same； one had spoken instead of the
other〃
〃I won't hear a word more！〃
〃Tra…la…la…la！ It happens to have been Oscar。 Turn it the other wayand
Nugent might have been the man。
〃Madame Pratolungo； I am not accustomed to be insulted！ I have no more to
say to you。〃
With that dignified reply； and with the loveliest color in her face that
you ever saw in your life； my darling Lucilla turned her pretty back on
me； and set off for Browndown by herself。
Ah； my rash tongue！ Ah； my nasty foreign temper！ Why did I let her
irritate me？ I； the elder of the twowhy did I not set her an example of
self…control？ Who can tell？ When does a woman know why she does anything？
Did Eve knowwhen Mr。 Serpent offered her the applewhy she ate it？ not
she！
What was to be done now？ Two things were to be done。 First thing：To
cool myself down。 Second thing：To follow Lucilla； and kiss and make it
up。
Either I took some time to coolor； in the irritation of the moment；
Lucilla walked faster than usual。 She had got to Browndown before I could
overtake her。 On opening the house…door； I heard them talking。 It would
hardly do to disturb themespecially now I was in disgrace。 While I was
hesitating； and wondering what my next proceeding had better be； my eye
was attracted by a letter lying on the hall…table。 I looked （one is
always inquisitive in those idle moments when one doesn't know what to
do）I looked at the address。 The letter was directed to Nugent； and the
post…mark was Liverpool。
I drew the inevitable conclusion。 The German oculist was in England！
CHAPTER THE TWENTY…EIGHTH
He crosses the Rubicon
I WAS still in doubt； whether to enter the room； or to wait outside until
she left Browndown to return to the rectorywhen Lucilla's keen sense of
hearing decided the question which I had been unable to settle for
myself。 The door of the room opened； and Oscar advanced into the hall。
〃Lucilla insisted that she heard somebody outside；〃 he said。 〃Who could
have guessed it was you？ Why did you wait in the hall？ Come in！ come in！〃
He held open the door for me； and I went in。 Oscar announced me to
Lucilla。 〃It was Madame Pratolungo you heard；〃 he said。 She took no
notice either of him or of me。 A heap of flowers from Oscar's garden lay
in her lap。 With the help of her clever fingers； she was sorting them to
make a nosegay； as quickly and as tastefully as if she had possessed the
sense of sight。 In all my experience of that charming face； it had never
looked so hard as it looked now。 Nobody would have recognized her
likeness to the Madonna of Raphael's picture。 Offendedmortally offended
with meI saw it at a glance。
〃I hope you will forgive my intrusion； Lucilla； when you know my motive；〃
I said。 〃I have followed you here to make my excuses。〃
〃Oh； don't think of making excuses！〃 she rejoine