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audacity of telling him； as a readerwith Shakespeare open before
themthat he read wrong！
〃Oh； we heard you as we came in！〃 proceeded Nugent； with the most
undiminished confidence； expressed in the most gentlemanlike manner。 〃You
read it like this。〃 He took up _Hamlet_ and read the opening line of the
Fourth Scene； （〃The air bites shrewdly。 It is very cold〃） with an
irresistibly…accurate imitation of Mr。 Finch。 〃That's nor the way Hamlet
would speak。 No man in his position would remark that it was very cold in
that bow…wow manner。 What is Shakespeare before all things？ True to
nature； always true to nature。 What condition is Hamlet in when he is
expecting to see the Ghost？ He is nervous； and he feels the cold。 Let him
show it naturally； let him speak as any other man would speak； under the
circumstances。 Look here！ Quick and quietlike this。 'The air bites
shrewdly'there Hamlet stops and shiverspur…rer…rer！ 'it is very
cold。' That's the way to read Shakespeare！〃
Mr。 Finch lifted his head into the air as high as it could possibly go；
and brought the flat of his hand down with a solemn and sounding smack on
the open book。
〃Allow me to say； sir！〃 he began。
Nugent stopped him again； more good…humouredly than ever。
〃You don't agree with me？ All right！ Quite useless to dispute about it。 I
don't know what you may beI am the most opinionated man in existence。
Sheer waste of time； my dear sir； to attempt convincing Me。 Now； just
look at that child！〃 Here Mr。 Nugent Dubourg's attention was suddenly
attracted by the baby。 He twisted round on his heel； and addressed Mrs。
Finch。 〃I take the liberty of saying； ma'am； that a more senseless dress
doesn't exist； than the dress that is put； in this country； on infants of
tender years。 What are the three main functions which that childthat
charming child of yours…performs？ He sucks； he sleeps； and he grows。 At
the present moment； he isn't sucking； he isn't sleepinghe is growing
with all his might。 Under those interesting circumstances； what does he
want to do？ To move his limbs freely in every direction。 You let him
swing his arms to his heart's contentand you deny him freedom to kick
his legs。 You clothe him in a dress three times as long as himself。 He
tries to throw his legs up in the air as he throws his arms； and he can't
do it。 There is his senseless long dress entangling itself in his toes；
and making an effort of what Nature intended to be a luxury。 Can anything
be more absurd？ What are mothers about？ Why don't they think for
themselves？ Take my adviceshort petticoats； Mrs。 Finch。 Liberty；
glorious liberty； for my young friend's legs！ Room； heaps of room； for
that infant martyr's toes！〃
Mrs。 Finch listened helplesslylifted the baby's long petticoats； and
looked at themstared piteously at Nugent Dubourgopened her lips to
speakand； thinking better of it； turned her watery eyes on her husband；
appealing to _him_ to take the matter up。 Mr。 Finch made another attempt
to assert his dignitya ponderously satirical attempt； this time。
〃In offering your advice to my wife； Mr。 Nugent；〃 said the rector； 〃you
must permit me to remark that it would have had more practical force if
it had been the advice of a married man。 I beg to remind you〃
〃You beg to remind me that it is the advice of a bachelor？ Oh； come！ that
really won't do at this time of day。 Doctor Johnson settled that argument
at once and for ever； a century since。 'Sir！' （he said to somebody of
your way of thinking） 'you may scold your carpenter； when he has made a
bad table； though you can't make a table yourself。' I say to you'Mr。
Finch； you may point out a defect in a baby's petticoats； though you
haven't got a baby yourself！' Doesn't that satisfy you？ All right！ Take
another illustration。 Look at your room here。 I can see in the twinkling
of an eye； that it's badly lit。 You have only got one windowyou ought
to have two。 Is it necessary to be a practical builder to discover that？
Absurd！ Are you satisfied now？ No！ Take another illustration。 What's this
printed paper； here； on the chimney…piece？ Assessed Taxes。 Ha！ Assessed
Taxes will do。 You're not in the House of Commons； you're not Chancellor
of the Exchequerbut haven't you an opinion of your own about taxation；
in spite of that？ Must you and I be in Parliament before we can presume
to see that the feeble old British Constitution is at its last gasp？〃
〃And the vigorous young Republic drawing its first breath of life！〃 I
burst in； introducing the Pratolungo programme （as my way is） at every
available opportunity。
Nugent Dubourg instantly wheeled round in my direction； and set me right
on my subject； just as he had set the rector right on reading _Hamlet；_
and Mrs。 Finch right on clothing babies。
〃Not a bit of it！〃 he pronounced positively。 〃The 'young Republic' is the
ricketty child of the political family。 Give him up； ma'am。 You will
never make a man of him。〃
I tried to assert myself as the rector had tried before mewith
precisely the same result。 I appealed indignantly to the authority of my
illustrious husband。
〃Doctor Pratolungo〃 I began。
〃Was an honest man；〃 interposed Nugent Dubourg。 〃I am an advanced Liberal
myselfI respect him。 But he was quite wrong。 All sincere republicans
make the same mistake。 They believe in the existence of public spirit in
Europe。 Amiable delusion！ Public spirit is dead in Europe。 Public spirit
is the generous emotion of young nations； of new peoples。 In selfish old
Europe； private interest has taken its place。 When your husband preached
the republic； on what ground did he put it？ On the ground that the
republic was going to elevate the nation。 Pooh！ Ask me to accept the
republic； on the ground that I elevate Myselfand； supposing you can
prove it； I will listen to you。 If you are ever to set republican
institutions going； in the Old World_there_ is the only motive power
that will do it！〃
I was indignant at such sentiments。 〃My glorious husband〃 I began
again。
〃Would have died rather than appeal to the meanest instincts of his
fellow…creatures。 Just so！ There was his mistake。 That's why he never
could make anything of the republic。 That's why the republic is the
ricketty child of the political family。 _Quod erat demonstrandum；_〃 said
Nugent Dubourg； finishing me off with a pleasant smile； and an easy
indicative gesture of the hand which said； 〃Now I have settled these
three people in succession； I am equally well satisfied with myself and
with them！〃
His smile was irresistible。 Bent as I was on disputing the degrading
conclusions at which he had arrived； I really had not fire enough in me；
at the moment； to feed my own indignation。 As to Reverend Finch； he sat
silently swelling in a corner； digesting； as he best might； the discovery
that there was another man in the world； besides the Rector of Dimchurch；
with an excellent opinion of himself； and with perfectly unassailable
confidence and fluency in expressing it。 In the momentary silence that
now followed； Oscar got his first opportunity of speaking。 He had； thus
far； been quite content to admire his clever brother。 He now advanced to
me； and asked what had become of Lu