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exciting him； and leading perhaps to the hideous seizure which had
attacked him in my presence for the second time。
The fit on this occasion was a short one。 Perhaps the drug was already
beginning to have some influence over him？ In twenty minutes； he was able
to resume his chair； and to go on talking to me。
〃You think I shall horrify you when my face has turned blue；〃 he said
with a faint smile。 〃Don't I horrify you now when you see me in
convulsions on the floor？〃
I entreated him to dwell on it no more。
〃God knows；〃 I said； 〃you have convinced meobstinate as I am。 Let us
try to think of nothing now but of the prospect of your being cured。 What
do you wish me to do？〃
〃You have great influence over Lucilla；〃 he said。 〃If she expresses any
curiosity； in future conversations with you； about the effect of the
medicine； check her at once。 Keep her as ignorant of it as she is now！〃
〃Why？〃
〃Why！ If she knows what you know； how will she feel？ Shocked and
horrified； as you felt。 What will she do？ She will come straight here；
and try； as you have tried； to persuade me to give it up。 Is that true or
not？〃
（Impossible to deny that it was true。）
〃I am so fond of her；〃 he went on； 〃that I can refuse her nothing。 She
would end in making me give it up。 The instant her back was turned； I
should repent my own weakness； and return to the medicine。 Here is a
perpetual struggle in prospect； for a man who is already worn out。 Is it
desirable； after what you have just seen； to expose me to that？〃
It would have been useless cruelty to expose him to it。 How could I do
otherwise than consent to make his sacrifice of himselfhis _necessary_
sacrificeas easy as I could？ At the same time； I implored him to
remember one thing。
〃Mind；〃 I said； 〃we can never hope to keep her in ignorance of the change
in you； when the change comes。 Sooner or later； some one will let the
secret out。〃
〃I only want it to be concealed from her while the disfigurement of me is
in progress；〃 he answered。 〃When nothing she can say or do will alter
itI will tell her myself。 She is so happy in the hope of my recovery！
What good can be gained by telling her beforehand of the penalty that I
pay for my deliverance？ My ugly color will never terrify my poor darling。
As for other persons； I shall not force myself on the view of the world。
It is my one wish to live out of the world。 The few people about me will
soon get reconciled to my face。 Lucilla will set them the example。 She
won't trouble herself long about a change in me that she can neither feel
nor see。
Ought I to have warned him here of Lucilla's inveterate prejudice； and of
the difficulty there might be in reconciling her to the change in him
when she heard of it？ I dare say I ought； I daresay I was to blame in
shrinking from inflicting new anxieties and new distresses on a man who
had already suffered so much。 The simple truth isI could not do it。
Would you have done it？ Ah； if you would； I hope I may never come in
contact with you。 What a horrid wretch you must be！ The end of it was
that I left the housepledged to keep Lucilla in ignorance of the cost
at which Oscar had determined to purchase his cure； until Oscar thought
fit to enlighten her himself。
CHAPTER THE TWENTIETH
Good Papa again！
THE promise I had given did not expose me to the annoyance of being kept
long on the watch against accidents。 If we could pass safely over the
next five days； we might feel pretty sure of the future。 On the last day
of the old year； Lucilla was bound by the terms of the will to go to
London； and live her allotted three months under the roof of her aunt。
In the brief interval that elapsed before her departure； she twice
approached the dangerous subject。
On the first occasion； she asked me if I knew what medicine Oscar was
taking。 I pleaded ignorance； and passed at once to other matters。 On the
second occasion； she advanced still further on the way to discovery of
the truth。 She now inquired if I had heard how the physic worked the
cure。 Having been already informed that the fits proceeded from a certain
disordered condition of the brain； she was anxious to know whether the
medical treatment was likely to affect the patient's head。 This question
（which I was of course unable to answer） she put to both the doctors。
Already warned by Oscar； they quieted her by declaring that the process
of cure acted by general means； and did not attack the head。 From that
moment； her curiosity was satisfied。 Her mind had other objects of
interest to dwell on； before she left Dimchurch。 She touched on the
perilous topic no more。
It was arranged that I was to accompany Lucilla to London。 Oscar was to
follow us； when the state of his health permitted him to take the
journey。 As betrothed husband of Lucilla； he had his right of entry；
during her residence in her aunt's house。 As for me； I was admitted at
Lucilla's intercession。 She declined to be separated from me for three
months。
Miss Batchford wrote； most politely； to offer me a hospitable welcome
during the day。 She had no second spare…room at her disposalso we
settled that I was to sleep at a lodging…house in the neighborhood。 In
this same house； Oscar was also to be accommodated； when the doctors
sanctioned his removal to London。 It was now thought likelyif all went
wellthat the marriage might be celebrated at the end of the three
months； from Miss Batchford's residence in town。
Three days before the date of Lucilla's departure； these plansso far as
I was concerned in themwere all over…thrown。
A letter from Paris reached me； with more bad news。 My absence had
produced the worst possible effect on good Papa。
The moment my influence had been removed； he had become perfectly
unmanageable。 My sisters assured me that the abominable woman from whom I
had rescued him； would most certainly end in marrying him after all；
unless I reappeared immediately on the scene。 What was to be done？
Nothing was to be done； but to fly into a rageto grind my teeth； and
throw down all my things； in the solitude of my own roomand then to go
back to Paris。
Lucilla behaved charmingly。 When she saw how angry and how distressed I
was； she suppressed all exhibition of disappointment on her side； with
the truest and kindest consideration for my feelings。 〃Write to me
often；〃 said the charming creature； 〃and come back to me as soon as you
can。〃 Her father took her to London。 Two days before they left； I said
good…bye at the rectory and at Browndown； and startedonce more by the
Newhaven and Dieppe routefor Paris。
I was in no humour （as your English saying is） to mince matters； in
controlling this new outbreak on the part of my evergreen parent。 I
insisted on instantly removing him from Paris； and taking him on a
continental tour。 I was proof against his paternal embraces； I was deaf
to his noble sentiments。 He declared he should die on the road。 When I
look back at it now； I am amazed at my own cruelty。 I said； 〃En route；
Papa！〃and packed him up； and took him to Italy。
He became enamored； at intervals； now of one fair traveler and now of
another； all through the journey from Paris to