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seemed to keep her apart； even from _him。_ When the doctor proposed
taking him back to Browndown； she did not insist； as I had anticipated；
on going with them。 She took leave of him tenderlybut still she let him
go。 While he yet lingered near the door； looking back at her； she moved
away slowly to the further end of the room； self…withdrawn into her own
dark worldshut up in her thoughts from him and from us。
The doctor tried to rouse her。
〃You must not think too seriously of this；〃 he said； following her to the
window at which she stood； and dropping his voice so that Oscar could not
hear him。 〃He has himself told you that he feels lighter and better than
he felt before the fit。 It has relieved instead of injuring him。 There is
no danger。 I assure you； on my honor； there is nothing to fear。〃
〃Can you assure me； on your honor； of one other thing；〃 she asked；
lowering her voice on her side。 〃Can you honestly tell me that this is
not the first of other fits that are to come？〃
The doctor parried the question。
〃We will have another medical opinion；〃 he answered； 〃before we decide。
The next time I go to see him； a physician from Brighton shall go with
me。〃
Oscar； who had thus far waited； wondering at the change in her； now
opened the door。 The doctor returned to him。 They left us。
She sat down on the window…seat； with her elbows on her knees and her
hands grasping her forehead。 A long moaning cry burst from her。 She said
to herself bitterly the one word〃Farewell！〃
I approached her； feeling the necessity of reminding her that I was in
the room。
〃Farewell to what？〃 I asked； taking my place by her side。
〃To his happiness and to mine；〃 she answered； without lifting her head
from her hands。 〃The dark days are coming for Oscar and for me。〃
〃Why should you think that？ You heard what the doctor said。〃
〃The doctor doesn't know what I know。〃
〃What do you know？〃
She paused before she answered me。 〃Do you believe in fate？〃 she said；
suddenly breaking the silence。
〃I believe in nothing which encourages people to despair of themselves；〃
I replied。
She went on without heeding me。
〃What caused the fit which seized him in this room？ The blow that struck
him on the head。 How did he receive the blow？ In trying to defend what
was his and what was mine。 What had he been doing on the day when the
thieves entered the house？ He had been working on the casket which was
meant for me。 Do you see those events linked together in one chain？ I
believe the fit will be followed by some next event springing out of it。
Something else is coming to darken his life and to darken mine。 There is
no wedding…day near for us。 The obstacles are rising in front of him and
in front of me。 The next misfortune is very near us。 You will see！ you
will see！〃 She shivered as she said those words； and； shrinking away from
me； huddled herself up in a corner of the window…seat。
It was useless to dispute with her； and worse than useless to sit there；
and encourage her to say more。 I got up on my feet。
〃There is one thing I believe in；〃 I said cheerfully。 〃I believe in the
breeze on the hills。 Come for a walk！〃
She shrank closer into her corner and shook her head。
〃Let me be！〃 she broke out impatiently。 〃Leave me by myself！〃 She rose；
repenting the words the moment they were utteredshe put her arm round
my neck； and kissed me。 〃I didn't mean to speak so harshly；〃 said the
gentle affectionate creature。 〃Sister！ my heart is heavy。 My life to come
never looked so dark to my blind eyes as it looks now。〃 A tear dropped
from those poor sightless eyes on my cheek。 She turned her head aside
abruptly。 〃Forgive me；〃 she murmured； 〃and let me go。〃 Before I could
answer； she hurried away to hide herself in her room。 The sweet girl！ How
you would have pitied herhow you would have loved her！
I went out alone for my walk。 She had not infected me with her
superstitious foreboding of ill things to come。 But there was one sad
word that she had said； in which I could not but agree。 After what I had
witnessed in that room； the wedding…day did indeed look further off than
ever。
CHAPTER THE EIGHTEENTH
Family Troubles
IN four or five days more； Lucilla's melancholy doubts about Oscar were
confirmed。 He was attacked by a second fit。
The promised consultation with the physician from Brighton took place。
Our new doctor did not encourage us to hope。 The second fit following so
close on the first was； in his opinion； a bad sign。 He gave general
directions for the treatment of Oscar； and left him to decide for himself
whether he would or would not try change of scene。 No change； the
physician appeared to think； would exert any immediate influence on the
recurrence of the epileptic attacks。 The patient's general health might
be benefited； and that was all。 As for the question of the marriage； he
declared without hesitation that we must for the present dismiss all
consideration of it from our minds。
Lucilla received the account of what passed at the visit of the doctors
with a stubborn resignation which it distressed me to see。 〃Remember what
I told you when the first attack seized him；〃 she said。 〃Our summer…time
is ended； our winter is come。〃
Her manner； while she spoke； was the manner of a person who is waiting
without hopewho feels deliberately that calamity is near。 She only
roused herself when Oscar came in。 He was； naturally enough； in miserable
spirits； under the sudden alteration in all his prospects。 Lucilla did
her best to cheer him； and succeeded。 On my side； I tried vainly to
persuade him to leave Browndown and amuse himself in some gayer place。 He
shrank from new faces and new scenes。 Between these two unelastic young
people； I felt even my native good spirits beginning to sink。 If we had
been all three down in the bottom of a dry well in a wilderness； we could
hardly have surveyed a more dismal prospect than the prospect we were
contemplating now。 By good luck； Oscar； like Lucilla； was passionately
fond of music。 We turned to the piano as our best resource in those days
of our adversity。 Lucilla and I took it in turns to play； and Oscar
listened。 I have to report that we got through a great deal of music。 I
have also to acknowledge that we were very dull。
As for Reverend Finch； he talked his way through his share of the
troubles that were trying us now； at the full compass of his voice。
If you had heard the little priest in those days； you would have supposed
that nobody could feel our domestic misfortunes as _he_ felt them； and
grieve over them as _he_ grieved。 He was a sight to see； on the day of
the medical consultation； strutting up and down his wife's sitting…room；
and haranguing his audiencecomposed of his wife and myself。 Mrs。 Finch
sat in one corner； with the baby and the novel； and the petticoat and the
shawl。 I occupied the other corner； summoned to 〃consult with the
rector。〃 In plain words； summoned to hear Mr。 Finch declare that he was
the person principally overshadowed by the cloud which hung on the
household。
〃I despair； Madame PratolungoI assure you； I despairof conveying any
idea of how _I_ feel under this most mela