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came in leading Lucilla by the hand。 My first look at my darling told me
the horrible truth。 As I had seen her in the corridor at the rectory on
the first day we met; so I now saw her once more。 Again; the sightless
eyes turned on me; insensibly reflecting the light that fell on them。
Blind! Oh; God; after a few brief weeks of sight; blind again!
In that miserable discovery; I forgot everything else。 I flew to her; and
caught her in my arms。 I cast one look at her pale; wasted faceand
burst out crying on her bosom。
She held my head gently with one hand; and waited with the patience of an
angel until that first outbreak of my grief had exhausted itself。 〃Don't
cry about my blindness;〃 said the soft; sweet voice that I knew so well。
〃The days when I had my sight have been the unhappiest days of my life。
If I look as if I had been fretting; don't think it is about my eyes。〃
She paused; and sighed bitterly。 〃I may tell _you;_〃 she went on in a
whisper。 〃It's a relief; it's a consolation; to tell _you。_ I am fretting
about my marriage。〃
Those words roused me。 I lifted my head; and kissed her。 〃I have come
back to comfort you;〃 I said: 〃and I have behaved like a fool。〃
She smiled faintly。 〃How like you;〃 she exclaimed; 〃to say that!〃 She
tapped my cheek with her fingers in the old familiar way。 The repetition
of that little trifling action almost broke my heart。 I nearly choked
myself in forcing back the stupid cowardly useless tears that tried to
burst from me again。 〃Come!〃 she said。 〃No more crying! Let us sit down
and talk as if we were at Dimchurch。〃
I took her to the sofa: we sat side by side。 She put her arm round my
waist; and laid her head on my shoulder。 Again the faint smile flickered
like a dying light on her lovely face; wan and wasted; yet still
beautifulstill the Virgin's face in Raphael's picture。 〃We are a
strange pair;〃 she said; with a momentary flash of her old irresistible
humour。 〃You are my bitterest enemy; and you burst out crying over me the
moment we meet。 I have been shockingly treated by youand I have got my
arm round your waist and my head on your shoulder; and I wouldn't let go
of you for the world!〃 Her face saddened again; her voice suddenly
altered its tone。 〃Tell me;〃 she went on; 〃how is it that appearances
were so terribly against you? Oscar satisfied me; at Ramsgate; that I
ought to give you up; that I ought never to see you again。 I took his
viewthere is no denying it; my dearI agreed with him in detesting
you; for a little while。 But; when the blindness came back; I could keep
it up no longer。 Little by little; as the light died out; my heart
_would_ turn to you again。 When I heard your letter read; when I knew
that you were near meit was just like the old times; I was mad to see
you。 And here I amsatisfied; before you explain it to me; that you have
been the victim of some terrible mistake。〃
I tried; in grateful acknowledgment of those generous words; to enter on
my justification there and then。 It was impossible。 I could think of
nothing; I could speak of nothing; but the dreadful discovery of her
blindness。
〃Give me a few minutes;〃 I said; 〃and you shall hear it all。 I can't talk
of myself; yetI can only talk of you。 Oh; Lucilla; why did you keep
away from Grosse? Come with me to him to…day。 Let him try what he can do。
At once; my lovebefore it is too late!〃
〃It _is_ too late;〃 she said。 〃I have been to another oculista
stranger。 He said; what Mr。 Sebright said: he doubted if there was ever
any chance for me: he thought the operation ought never to have been
performed。〃
〃Why did you go to a stranger?〃 I asked。 〃Why did you give up Grosse!〃
〃You must ask Oscar;〃 she answered。 〃It was at his desire that I kept
away from Grosse。〃
Hearing this; I penetrated for myself the motive which had actuated
Nugentas I afterwards found it indicated in the Journal。 If he had let
Lucilla go to Grosse; our good German might have noticed that her
position was preying on her mind; and might have seen his reasons for
exposing the deception that Nugent was practicing on her。 For the rest; I
still persisted in entreating Lucilla to go back with me to our old
friend。
〃Remember our conversation on this very subject;〃 she rejoined; shaking
her head decisively。 〃I mean at the time when the operation was going to
be performed。 I told you I was used to being blind。 I said I only wanted
to recover my sight; to see Oscar。 And when I did see himwhat happened?
The disappointment was so dreadful; I wished myself blind again。 Don't
start! don't cry out as if you were shocked! I mean what I say。 You
people who can see; attach such an absurd importance to your eyes! Don't
you recollect my saying that; when we last talked about it?〃
I recollected perfectly。 She had said those words。 She had declared that
she had never honestly envied any of us the use of our eyes。 She had even
reviled our eyes; comparing them contemptuously with _her_ touch;
deriding them as deceivers who were constantly leading us wrong。 I
acknowledged all thiswithout being in the least reconciled to the
catastrophe that had happened。 If she would only have listened to me; I
should still have gone on obstinately pleading with her。 But she flatly
refused to listen。 〃We have very little time to spare;〃 she said。 〃Let us
talk of something more interesting before I am obliged to leave you。〃
〃Obliged to leave me?〃 I repeated。 〃Are you not your own mistress?〃
Her face clouded over; her manner became embarrassed。
〃I cannot honestly tell you that I am a prisoner;〃 she answered。 〃I can
only say I am watched。 When Oscar is away from me; Oscar's cousina sly;
suspicious; false womanalways contrives to put herself in his place。 I
heard her say to her husband that she believed I should break my marriage
engagement unless I was closely looked after。 I don't know what I should
do; but for one of the servants in the house; who is an excellent
creaturewho sympathizes with me; and helps me。〃 She stopped; and lifted
her head inquiringly。 〃Where _is_ the servant?〃 she asked。
I had forgotten the woman who had brought her into the room。 She must
have delicately left us together after leading Lucilla in。 When I looked
up; she was not to be seen。
〃The servant is no doubt waiting down…stairs;〃 I said。 〃Go on。〃
〃But for that good creature;〃 Lucilla resumed; 〃I should never have got
here。 She brought me your letter; and read it to me; and wrote my reply。
I arranged with her to slip out at the first opportunity。 One chance was
in our favorwe had only the cousin to keep an eye on us。 Oscar was not
in the house。〃
She suddenly checked herself at the last word。 A slight sound at the
lower end of the room; which had passed unnoticed by me; had caught her
delicate ear; 〃What is that noise?〃 she asked。 〃Anybody in the room with
us?〃
I looked up once more。 While she was talking of the false Oscar; the true
Oscar was standing listening to her; at the other end of the room。
When he discovered that I was looking at him; he entreated me by a
gesture not to betray his presence。 He had evidently heard what we had
been saying to each other; before I detected