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own to sustain at my father's bedside。 I think you will admit that a
sweeter temper than mine might have not unnaturally turned a little sour
under present circumstances。
I answered not a word to Oscar's protestationsI only searched
vehemently in the pocket of my dress。
〃Here；〃 I said； opening my card…case； 〃is my address in this place； and
here；〃 I went on； producing the document； 〃is my passport； if they want
it。〃
I forced the card and the passport into his hands。 He took them in
helpless astonishment。
〃What am I to do with these？〃 he asked。
〃Take them to the Poste…Restante。 If there is a letter for me with the
Dimchurch post…mark； I authorize you to open it。 Read it before it comes
into my handsand then perhaps you will be satisfied？〃
He declared that he would do nothing of the sortand tried to force my
documents back into my own possession。
〃Please yourself；〃 I said。 〃I have done with you and your affairs。 Mrs。
Finch's letter is of no earthly consequence to me。 If it _is_ at the
Poste…Restante； I shall not trouble myself to ask for it。 What concern
have I with news about Lucilla？ What does it matter to _me_ whether she
is married or not？ I am going back to my father and my sisters。 Decide
for yourself whether you want Mrs。 Finch's letter or not。〃
That settled it。 He went his way with my documents to the post…office；
and I went mine back to the lodging。
Arrived in my room； I still held to the resolution which I had expressed
to Oscar in the street。 Why should I leave my poor old father to go back
to England； and mix myself up in Lucilla's affairs？ After the manner in
which she had taken her leave of me； had I any reasonable prospect of
being civilly received？ Oscar was on his way to Englandlet Oscar manage
his own affairs； let them all three （Oscar； Nugent； Lucilla） fight it out
together among themselves。 What had I； Pratolungo's widow； to do with
this trumpery family entanglement？ Nothing！ It was a warm day for the
time of yearPratolungo's widow； like a wise woman； determined to make
herself comfortable。 She unlocked her packed box； she removed her
traveling costume； and put on her dressing…gown； she took a turn in the
roomand； if you had come across her at that moment； I wouldn't have
stood in your shoes for something； I can tell you！
（What do you think of my consistency by this time？ How often have I
changed my mind about Lucilla and Oscar？ Reckon it up； from the time when
I left Dimchurch。 What a picture of perpetual self…contradiction I
presentand how improbable it is that I should act in this illogical
way！ _You_ never alter your mind under the influence of your temper or
your circumstances。 No： you are； what they call； a consistent character。
And I？ Oh； I am only a human beingand I feel painfully conscious that I
have no business to be in a book。）
In about half an hour's time； the servant appeared with a little paper
parcel for me。 It had been left by a stranger with an English accent and
a terrible face。 He had announced his intention of calling a little
later。 The servant； a bouncing fat wench； trembled as she repeated the
message； and asked if there was anything amiss between me and the man
with the terrible face。
I opened the parcel。 It contained my passport； and； sure enough； the
letter from Mrs。 Finch。 Had he opened it？ Yes！ He had not been able to
resist the temptation to read it。 And more； he had written a line or two
on it in pencil； thus：〃As soon as I am fit to see you； I will implore
your pardon。 I dare not trust myself in your presence yet。 Read the
letter； and you will understand why。〃
I opened the letter。
It was dated the fifth of September。 I ran over the first few sentences
carelessly enough。 Thanks for my lettercongratulations on my father's
prospect of recoveryinformation about baby's gums and the rector's last
sermonmore information about somebody else； which Mrs。 Finch felt quite
sure would interest and delight me。 What！！！ 〃Mr。 Oscar Dubourg has come
back； and is now with Lucilla at Ramsgate。〃
I crumpled the letter up in my hand。 Nugent had justified my worst
anticipations of what he would do in my absence。 What did the true Mr。
Oscar Dubourg； reading that sentence at Marseilles； think of his brother
now？ We are all mortalwe are all wicked。 It is monstrous； but it is
true。 I had a moment's triumph。
The wicked moment gone； I was good againthat is to say； I was ashamed
of myself。
I smoothed out the letter； and looked eagerly for news of Lucilla's
health。 If the news was favorable； my letter committed to Miss
Batchford's care must have been shown to Lucilla by this time； must have
exposed Nugent's abominable personation of his brother； and must have
thus preserved her for Oscar。 In that case； all would be well again （and
my darling herself would own it）thanks to Me！
After telling me the news from Ramsgate； Mrs。 Finch began to drift into；
what you call； Twaddle。 She had just discovered （exactly as Oscar had
supposed） that she had lost my letter。 She would keep her own letter back
until the next day； on the chance of finding it。 If she failed she must
try Poste…Restante； at the suggestion （not of Mr。 Finchthere I was
wrong）at the suggestion of Zillah； who had relatives in foreign parts；
and had tried Poste…Restante in her case too。 So Mrs。 Finch driveled
mildly on； in her large loose untidy handwriting； to the bottom of the
third page。
I turned over。 The handwriting suddenly grew untidier than ever； two
great blots defaced the paper； the style became feebly hysterical。 Good
Heavens！ what did I read when I made it out at last！ See for yourselves；
here are the words： 〃Some hours have passedit is just tea…time…oh； my
dear friend； I can hardly hold the pen； I tremble sowould you believe
it； Miss Batchford has arrived at the rectoryshe brings the dreadful
news that Lucilla has eloped with Oscarwe don't know whywe don't know
where； except that they have gone away together privatelya letter from
Oscar tells Miss Batchford as much as that； and no moreoh； pray come
back as soon as you canMr。 Finch washes his hands of itand Miss
Batchford has left the house again in a fury with himI am in dreadful
agitation； and I have given it Mr。 Finch says to baby； who is screaming
black in the face。 Yours affectionately；
〃AMELIA FINCH。〃
All the rages I had ever been in before in my life were as nothing
compared with the rage that devoured me when I had read that fourth page
of Mrs。 Finch's letter。 Nugent had got the better of me and my
precautions！ Nugent had robbed his brother of Lucilla； in the vilest
manner； with perfect impunity！ I cast all feminine restraints to the
winds。 I sat down with my legs anyhow； like a man。 I rammed my hands into
the pockets of my dressing…gown。 Did I cry？ A word in your earand let
it go no farther。 I swore。
How long the fit lasted； I don't know。 I only remember that I was
disturbed by a knock at my door。
I flung open the door in a furyand confronted Oscar on the threshold。
There was a look in his face that instantly quieted me。 There was a tone
in his voice that brought the tears suddenly into my eyes。
〃I must leave for England in tw