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that man；〃 he said。 〃You were terribly frightened by my brother； when you
saw him。〃
〃I was terribly frightened by my own imagination； _before_ I saw him；〃 I
answered。 〃_After_ I saw him； I soon got over it。〃
〃So you say！〃 he rejoined。
There is something excessively provokingat least to mein being told
to my face that I have said something which is not worthy of belief。 It
was not a very becoming act on my part （after what he had told me in his
letter about his brother's infatuation） to mention his brother。 I ought
not to have done it。 I did it； for all that。
〃I say what I mean；〃 I replied。 〃Before I knew what you told me about
your brother； I was going to propose to you； for your sake and for his；
that he should live with us after we were married。〃
Oscar suddenly stopped。 He had given me his arm to lead me through the
crowdhe dropped it now。
〃You say that； because you are angry with me！〃 he said。
I denied being angry with him； I declared； once more； that I was only
speaking the truth。
〃You really mean；〃 he went on； 〃that you could have lived comfortably
with my brother's blue face before you every hour of the day？〃
〃Quite comfortablyif he would have been my brother too。〃 Oscar pointed
to the house in which my aunt and I are livingwithin a few yards of the
place on which we stood。
〃You are close at home；〃 he said； speaking in an odd muffled voice； with
his eyes on the ground。 〃I want a longer walk。 We shall meet at
dinner…time。〃
He left mewithout looking up； and without saying a word more。
Jealous of his brother！ There is something unnatural； something degrading
in such jealousy as that。 I am ashamed of myself for thinking it of him。
And yet what else could his conduct mean？
＇Note。It is for me to answer that question。 Give the miserable wretch
his due。 His conduct meant； in one plain wordremorse。 The only excuse
left that he could make to his own conscience for the infamous part which
he was playing； was thisthat his brother's personal disfigurement
presented a fatal obstacle in the way of his brother's marriage。 And now
Lucilla's own words； Lucilla's own actions； had told him that Oscar's
face was no obstacle to her seeing Oscar perpetually in the familiar
intercourse of domestic life。 The torture of self…reproach which this
discovery inflicted on him； drove him out of her presence。 His own lips
would have betrayed him； if he had spoken a word more to her at that
moment。 This is no speculation of mine。 I know what I am now writing to
be the truth。P。＇
It is night again。 I am in my bed…roomtoo nervous and too anxious to go
to rest yet。 Let me employ myself in finishing this private record of the
events of the day。
Oscar came a little before dinner…time； haggard and pale； and so absent
in mind that he hardly seemed to know what he was talking about。 No
explanations passed between us。 He asked my pardon for the hard things he
had said； and the ill…temper he had shown； earlier in the day。 I readily
accepted his excusesand did my best to conceal the uneasiness which his
vacant； pre…occupied manner caused me。 All the time he was speaking to
me； he was plainly thinking of something elsehe was more unlike the
Oscar of my blind remembrances than ever。 It was the old voice talking in
a new way： I can only describe it to myself in those terms。
As for his manner； I know it used to be always more or less quiet and
retiring in the old days： but was it ever so hopelessly subdued and
depressed； as I have seen it to…day？ Useless to ask！ In the by…gone time；
I was not able to see it。 My past judgment of him and my present judgment
of him have been arrived at by such totally different means； that it
seems useless to compare them。 Oh； how I miss Madame Pratolungo！ What a
relief； what a consolation it would have been； to have said all this to
her； and to have heard what she thought of it in return！
There is； however； a chance of my finding my way out of some of my
perplexities； at any rateif I can only wait till tomorrow。
Oscar seems to have made up his mind at last to enter into the
explanations which he has hitherto withheld from me。 He has asked me to
give him a private interview in the morning。 The circumstances which led
to his making this request have highly excited my curiosity。 Something is
evidently going on under the surface； in which my interests are
concernedand； possibly； Oscar's interests too。
It all came about in this way。
On returning to the house； after Oscar had left me； I found that a letter
from Grosse had arrived by the afternoon post。 My dear old surgeon wrote
to say that he was coming to see meand added in a postscript that he
would arrive the next day at luncheon…time。 Past experience told me that
this meant a demand on my aunt's housekeeping for all the good things
that it could produce。 （Ah； dear！ I thought of Madame Pratolungo and the
Mayonnaise。 Will those times never come again？） Wellat dinner； I
announced Grosse's visit； adding significantly； 〃at luncheon…time。〃
My aunt looked up from her plate with a little startnot interested； as
I was prepared to hear； in the serious question of luncheon； but in the
opinion which my medical adviser was likely to give of the state of my
health。
〃I am anxious to hear what Mr。 Grosse says about you to…morrow；〃 the old
lady began。 〃I shall insist on his giving me a far more complete report
of you than he gave last time。 The recovery of your sight appears to me；
my dear； to be quite complete。〃
〃Do you want me to be cured； aunt； because you want to get away？〃 I
asked。 〃Are you weary of Ramsgate？〃
Miss Batchford's quick temper flashed at me out of Miss Batchford's
bright old eyes。
〃I am weary of keeping a letter of yours；〃 she answered； with a look of
disgust。
〃A letter of mine！〃 I exclaimed。
〃Yes。 A letter which is only to be given to you； when Mr。 Grosse
pronounces that you are quite yourself again。〃
Oscarwho had not taken the slightest interest in the conversation thus
farsuddenly stopped； with his fork half way to his mouth； changed
color； and looked eagerly at my aunt。
〃What letter？〃 I asked。 〃Who gave it to you？ Why am I not to see it until
I am quite myself again？〃
Miss Batchford obstinately shook her head three times； in answer to those
three questions。
〃I hate secrets and mysteries；〃 she said impatiently。 〃This is a secret
and a mysteryand I long to have done with it。 That is all。 I have said
too much already。 I shall say no more。〃
All my entreaties were of no avail。 My aunt's quick temper had evidently
led her into committing an imprudence of some sort。 Having done that； she
was now provokingly determined not to make bad worse。 Nothing that I
could say would induce her to open her lips on the subject of the
mysterious letter。 〃Wait till Mr。 Grosse comes to…morrow。〃 That was the
only reply I could get。
As for Oscar； this little incident appeared to have an effect on him
which added immensely to the curiosity that my aunt had roused in me。
He listened with breathless attention while I was trying to induce Miss
Batchford to answer my questions。 When I gave it up； he pushed away his
plate； and ate no more。