按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
on the paper。〃
〃Nonsense；〃 replied Goodman。 〃We can furnish the people with news； but
we can't supply them with sense。 Only time can do that。 The flurry will
pass。 You just go ahead。 We'll win out in the long run。〃
But the offender was in torture； he could not sleep。 〃Dan； Dan；〃 he
said； 〃I am being burned alive on both sides of the mountains。〃
〃Mark；〃 said Dan。 〃It will all blow over。 This item of yours will be
remembered and talked about when the rest of your Enterprise work is
forgotten。〃
Both Goodman and De Quille were right。 In a month papers and people had
forgotten their humiliation and laughed。 〃The Dutch Nick Massacre〃 gave
to its perpetrator and to the Enterprise an added vogue。
＇For full text of the 〃Dutch Nick〃 hoax see Appendix C； at the end of
last volume： also； for an anecdote concerning a reporting excursion made
by Alf。 Doten and Mark Twain。＇
XLII
REPORTORIAL DAYS
Reference has already been made to the fashion among Virginia City papers
of permitting reporters to use the editorial columns for ridicule of one
another。 This custom was especially in vogue during the period when Dan
de Quille and Mark Twain and The Unreliable were the shining journalistic
lights of the Comstock。 Scarcely a week went by that some apparently
venomous squib or fling or long burlesque assault did not appear either
in the Union or the Enterprise； with one of those jokers as its author
and another as its target。 In one of his 〃home〃 letters of that year
Mark Twain says：
I have just finished writing up my report for the morning paper and
giving The Unreliable a column of advice about how to conduct
himself in church。
The advice was such as to call for a reprisal； but it apparently made no
difference in personal relations； for a few weeks later he is with The
Unreliable in San Francisco； seeing life in the metropolis； fairly
swimming in its delights； unable to resist reporting them to his mother。
We fag ourselves completely out every day and go to sleep without
rocking every night。 When I go down Montgomery Street shaking hands
with Tom； Dick； and Harry； it is just like being on Main Street in
Hannibal and meeting the old familiar faces。 I do hate to go back
to Washoe。 We take trips across the bay to Oakland； and down to San
Leandro and Alameda； and we go out to the Willows and Hayes Park and
Fort Point； and up to Benicia； and yesterday we were invited out on
a yachting excursion； and had a sail in the fastest yacht on the
Pacific coast。 Rice says： 〃Oh nowe are not having any fun； Mark
oh noI reckon it's somebody elseit's probably the gentleman in
the wagon〃 （popular slang phrase）； and when I invite Rice to the
Lick House to dinner the proprietor sends us champagne and claret；
and then we do put on the most disgusting airs。 The Unreliable says
our caliber is too lightwe can't stand it to be noticed。
Three days later he adds that he is going sorrowfully 〃to the snows and
the deserts of Washoe；〃 but that he has 〃lived like a lord to make up for
two years of privation。〃
Twenty dollars is inclosed in each of these letters； probably as a bribe
to Jane Clemens to be lenient with his prodigalities； which in his
youthful love of display he could not bring himself to conceal。 But
apparently the salve was futile； for in another letter； a month later； he
complains that his mother is 〃slinging insinuations〃 at him again； such
as 〃where did you get that money〃 and 〃the company I kept in San
Francisco。〃 He explains：
Why； I sold Wild Cat mining ground that was given me； and my credit
was always good at the bank for 2；000 or 3；000； and I never gamble
in any shape or manner； and never drink anything stronger than
claret and lager beer； which conduct is regarded as miraculously
temperate in this place。 As for company； I went in the very best
company to be found in San Francisco。 I always move in the best
society in Virginia and have a reputation to preserve。
He closes by assuring her that he will be more careful in future and that
she need never fear but that he will keep her expenses paid。 Then he
cannot refrain from adding one more item of his lavish life：
〃Put in my washing； and it costs me one hundred dollars a month to live。〃
De Quille had not missed the opportunity of his comrade's absence to
payoff some old scores。 At the end of the editorial column of the
Enterprise on the day following his departure he denounced the absent one
and his 〃protege；〃 The Unreliable； after the intemperate fashion of the
day。
It is to be regretted that such scrubs are ever permitted to visit
the bay； as the inevitable effect will be to destroy that exalted
opinion of the manners and morality of our people which was inspired
by the conduct of our senior editor ＇which is to say； Dan
himself＇。
The diatribe closed with a really graceful poem； and the whole was no
doubt highly regarded by the Enterprise readers。
What revenge Mark Twain took on his return has not been recorded； but it
was probably prompt and adequate； or he may have left it to The
Unreliable。 It was clearly a mistake； however； to leave his own local
work in the hands of that properly named person a little later。 Clemens
was laid up with a cold； and Rice assured him on his sacred honor that he
would attend faithfully to the Enterprise locals； along with his own
Union items。 He did this； but he had been nursing old injuries too long。
What was Mark Twain's amazement on looking over the Enterprise next
morning to find under the heading 〃Apologetic〃 a statement over his own
nom de plume； purporting to be an apology for all the sins of ridicule to
the various injured ones。
To Mayor Arick； Hon。 Wm。 Stewart； Marshal Perry； Hon。 J。 B。 Winters；
Mr。 Olin； and Samuel Wetherill； besides a host of others whom we
have ridiculed from behind the shelter of our reportorial position；
we say to these gentlemen we acknowedge our faults； and； in all
weakness and humility upon our bended marrow bones； we ask their
forgiveness； promising that in future we will give them no cause for
anything but the best of feeling toward us。 To 〃Young Wilson〃 and
The Unreliable （as we have wickedly termed them）； we feel that no
apology we can make begins to atone for the many insults we have
given them。 Toward these gentlemen we have been as mean as a man
could beand we have always prided ourselves on this base quality。
We feel that we are the least of all humanity； as it were。 We will
now go in sack…cloth and ashes for the next forty days。
This in his own paper over his own signature was a body blow； but it had
the effect of curing his cold。 He was back in the office forthwith； and
in the next morning's issue denounced his betrayer。
We are to blame for giving The Unreliable an opportunity to
misrepresent us； and therefore refrain from repining to any great
extent at the result。 We simply claim the right to deny the truth
of every stat