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〃Will Satan mich verschlingen； So lass die Engel singen Hallelujah！〃
We never had another difference。 Up to then he had been my willing slave； and after that I was his。
With a smile and a shiver I turned from the border and its memories to the door in the wall leading to the kitchen garden； in a corner of which my own little garden used to be。 The door was open； and I stood still a moment before going through； to hold my breath and listen。 The silence was as profound as before。 The place seemed deserted； and I should have thought the house empty and shut up but for the carefully tended radishes and the recent footmarks on the green of the path。 They were the footmarks of a child。 I was stooping down to examine a specially clear one； when the loud caw of a very bored looking crow sitting on the wall just above my head made me jump as I have seldom in my life jumped； and reminded me that I was trespassing。 Clearly my nerves were all to pieces； for I gathered up my skirts and fled through the door as though a whole army of ghosts and cousins were at my heels； nor did I stop till I had reached the remote corner where my garden was。 〃Are you enjoying yourself； Elizabeth？〃 asked the mocking sprite that calls itself my soul： but I was too much out of breath to answer。
This was really a very safe corner。 It was separated from the main garden and the house by the wall； and shut in on the north side by an orchard； and it was to the last degree unlikely that any one would come there on such an afternoon。 This plot of ground； turned now as I saw into a rockery； had been the scene of my most untiring labours。 Into the cold earth of this north border on which the sun never shone I had dug my brightest hopes。 All my pocket money had been spent on it； and as bulbs were dear and my weekly allowance small； in a fatal hour I had borrowed from Fraulein Wundermacher； selling her my independence； passing utterly into her power； forced as a result till my next birthday should come round to an unnatural suavity of speech and manner in her company； against which my very soul revolted。 And after all； nothing came up。 The labour of digging and watering； the anxious zeal with which I pounced on weeds； the poring over gardening books； the plans made as I sat on the little seat in the middle gazing admiringly and with the eye of faith on the trim surface so soon to be gemmed with a thousand flowers； the reckless expenditure of pfennings； the humiliation of my position in regard to Fraulein Wundermacher；all； all had been in vain。 No sun shone there； and nothing grew。 The gardener who reigned supreme in those days had given me this big piece for that sole reason； because he could do nothing with it himself。 He was no doubt of opinion that it was quite good enough for a child to experiment upon； and went his way； when I had thanked him with a profuseness of gratitude I still remember； with an unmoved countenance。 For more than a year I worked and waited； and watched the career of the flourishing orchard opposite with puzzled feelings。 The orchard was only a few yards away； and yet； although my garden was full of manure； and water； and attentions that were never bestowed on the orchard； all it could show and ever did show were a few unhappy beginnings of growth that either remained stationary and did not achieve flowers； or dwindled down again and vanished。 Once I timidly asked the gardener if he could explain these signs and wonders； but he was a busy man with no time for answering questions； and told me shortly that gardening was not learned in a day。 How well I remember that afternoon； and the very shape of the lazy clouds； and the smell of spring things； and myself going away abashed and sitting on the shaky bench in my domain and wondering for the hundredth time what it was that made the difference between my bit and the bit of orchard in front of me。 The fruit trees； far enough away from the wall to be beyond the reach of its cold shade； were tossing their flower…laden heads in the sunshine in a carelessly well…satisfied fashion that filled my heart with envy。 There was a rise in the field behind them； and at the foot of its protecting slope they luxuriated in the insolent glory of their white and pink perfection。 It was May； and my heart bled at the thought of the tulips I had put in in November； and that I had never seen since。 The whole of the rest of the garden was on fire with tulips； behind me； on the other side of the wall； were rows and rows of them；cups of translucent loveliness； a jewelled ring flung right round the lawn。 But what was there not on the other side of that wall？ Things came up there and grew and flowered exactly as my gardening books said they should do； and in front of me； in the gay orchard； things that nobody ever troubled about or cultivated or noticed throve joyously beneath the trees；daffodils thrusting their spears through the grass； crocuses peeping out inquiringly； snowdrops uncovering their small cold faces when the first shivering spring days came。 Only my piece that I so loved was perpetually ugly and empty。 And I sat in it thinking of these things on that radiant day； and wept aloud。
Then an apprentice came by； a youth who had often seen me busily digging； and noticing the unusual tears； and struck perhaps by the difference between my garden and the profusion of splendour all around； paused with his barrow on the path in front of me； and remarked that nobody could expect to get blood out of a stone。 The apparent irrelevance of this statement made me weep still louder； the bitter tears of insulted sorrow； but he stuck to his point； and harangued me from the path； explaining the connection between north walls and tulips and blood and stones till my tears all dried up again and I listened attentively； for the conclusion to be drawn from his remarks was plainly that I had been shamefully taken in by the head gardener； who was an unprincipled person thenceforward to be for ever mistrusted and shunned。 Standing on the path from which the kindly apprentice had expounded his proverb； this scene rose before me as clearly as though it had taken place that very day； but how different everything looked； and how it had shrunk！ Was this the wide orchard that had seemed to stretch away； it and the sloping field beyond； up to the gates of heaven？ I believe nearly every child who is much alone goes through a certain time of hourly expecting the Day of Judgment； and I had made up my mind that on that Day the heavenly host would enter the world by that very field； coming down the slope in shining ranks； treading the daffodils under foot； filling the orchard with their songs of exultation； joyously seeking out the sheep from among the goats。 Of course I was a sheep； and my governess and the head gardener goats； so that the results could not fail to be in every way satisfactory。 But looking up at the slope and remembering my visions； I laughed at the smallness of the field I had supposed would hold all heaven。
Here again the cousins had been at work。 The site of my garden was occupied by a rockery； and the orchard grass with all its treasures had been dug up； and the spaces between the trees pla