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an unsocial socialist-第14章

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girls will think I have done something infamous if I am expelled。
I ought to be let stay until the end of the term; and as to the
Recthe fault book; you told me most particularly when I first
came that I might write in it or not just as I pleased; and that
you never dictated or interfered with what was written。 And yet
the very first time I write a word you disapprove of; you expel
me。 Nobody will ever believe now that the entries are voluntary。〃

Miss Wilson's conscience; already smitten by the coarseness and
absence of moral force in the echo of her own 〃You are
impertinent;〃 from the mouth of Mr。 Jansenius; took fresh alarm。
〃The fault book;〃 she said; 〃is for the purpose of recording
self…reproach alone; and is not a vehicle for accusations against
others。〃

〃I am quite sure that neither Jane nor Gertrude nor I reproached
ourselves in the least for going downstairs as we did; and yet
you did not blame us for entering that。 Besides; the book
represented moral forceat least you always said so; and when
you gave up moral force; I thought an entry should be made of
that。 Of course I was in a rage at the time; hut when I came to
myself I thought I had done right; and I think so still; though
it would perhaps have been better to have passed it over。〃

〃Why do you say that I gave up moral force?〃

〃Telling people to leave the room is not moral force。 Calling
them impertinent is not moral force。〃

〃You think then that I am bound to listen patiently to whatever
you choose to say to me; however unbecoming it may be from one in
your position to one in mine ?〃

〃But I said nothing unbecoming;〃 said Agatha。 Then; breaking off
restlessly; and smiling again; she said: 〃Oh; don't let us argue。
I am very sorry; and very troublesome; and very fond of you and
of the college; and I won't come back next term unless you like。〃

〃Agatha;〃 said Miss Wilson; shaken; 〃these expressions of regard
cost you so little; and when they have effected their purpose;
are so soon forgotten by you; that they have ceased to satisfy
me。 I am very reluctant to insist on your leaving us at once。 But
as your uncle has told you; you are old and sensible enough to
know the difference between order and disorder。 Hitherto you have
been on the side of disorder; an element which was hardly known
here until you came; as Mrs。 Trefusis can tell you。 Nevertheless;
if you will promise to be more careful in future; I will waive
all past cause of complaint; and at the end of the term I shall
be able to judge as to your continuing among us。〃

Agatha rose; beaming。 〃Dear Miss Wilson;〃 she said; 〃you are so
good! I promise; of course。 I will go and tell mamma。〃

Before they could add a word she had turned with a pirouette to
the door; and fled; presenting herself a moment later in the
drawing…room to the three ladies; whom she surveyed with a
whimsical smile in silence。

〃Well?〃 said Mrs。 Jansenius peremptorily。

〃Well; dear?〃 said Mrs。 Trefusis; caressingly。

Mrs。 Wylie stifled a sob and looked imploringly at her daughter。

〃I had no end of trouble in bringing them to reason;〃 said
Agatha; after a provoking pause。 〃They behaved like children; and
I was like an angel。 I am to stay; of course。〃

〃Blessings on you; my darling;〃 faltered Mrs。 Wylie; attempting a
kiss; which Agatha dexterously evaded。

〃I have promised to be very good; and studious; and quiet; and
decorous in future。 Do you remember my castanet song; Hetty?

〃'Tra! lalala; la! la! la! Tra! lalala; la! la! la! Tra!
lalalalalalalalalalala!'〃

And she danced about the room; snapping her fingers instead of
castanets。

〃Don't be so reckless and wicked; my love;〃 said Mrs。 Wylie。 〃You
will break your poor mother's heart。〃

Miss Wilson and Mr。 Jansenius entered just then; and Agatha
became motionless and gazed abstractedly at a vase of flowers。
Miss Wilson invited her visitors to join the tennis players。 Mr。
Jansenius looked sternly and disappointedly at Agatha; who
elevated her left eyebrow and depressed her right simultaneously;
but he; shaking his head to signify that he was not to be
conciliated by facial feats; however difficult or contrary to
nature; went out with Miss Wilson; followed by Mrs。 Jansenius and
Mrs。 Wylie。

〃How is your Hubby?〃 said Agatha then; brusquely; to Henrietta。

Mrs。 Trefusis's eyes filled with tears so quickly that; as she
bent her head to hide them; they fell; sprinkling Agatha's hand。

〃This is such a dear old place;〃 she began。 〃The associations of
my girlhood〃

〃What is the matter between you and Hubby?〃 demanded Agatha;
interrupting her。 〃You had better tell me; or I will ask him when
I meet him。〃

〃I was about to tell you; only you did not give me time。〃

〃That is a most awful cram;〃 said Agatha。 〃But no matter。 Go on。〃

Henrietta hesitated。 Her dignity as a married woman; and the
reality of her grief; revolted against the shallow acuteness of
the schoolgirl。 But she found herself no better able to resist
Agatha's domineering than she had been in her childhood; and much
more desirous of obtaining her sympathy。 Besides; she had already
learnt to tell the story herself rather than leave its narration
to others; whose accounts did not; she felt; put her case in the
proper light。 So she told Agatha of her marriage; her wild love
for her husband; his wild love for her; and his mysterious
disappearance without leaving word or sign behind him。 She did
not mention the letter。

〃Have you had him searched for?〃 said Agatha; repressing an
inclination to laugh。

〃But where? Had I the remotest clue; I would follow him barefoot
to the end of the world。〃

〃I think you ought to search all the riversyou would have to do
that barefoot。 He must have fallen in somewhere; or fallen down
some place。〃

〃No; no。 Do you think I should be here if I thought his life in
danger? I have reasonsI know that he is only gone away。〃

〃Oh; indeed! He took his portmanteau with him; did he? Perhaps he
has gone to Paris to buy you something nice and give you a
pleasant surprise。〃

〃No;〃 said Henrietta dejectedly。 〃He knew that I wanted nothing。〃

〃Then I suppose he got tired of you and ran away。〃

Henrietta's peculiar scarlet blush flowed rapidly over her cheeks
as she flung Agatha's arm away; exclaiming; 〃How dare you say so!
You have no heart。 He adored me。〃

〃Bosh!〃 said Agatha。 〃People always grow tired of one another。 I
grow tired of myself whenever I am left alone for ten minutes;
and I am certain that I am fonder of myself than anyone can be of
another person。〃

〃I know you are;〃 said Henrietta; pained and spiteful。 〃You have
always been particularly fond of yourself。〃

〃Very likely he resembles me in that respect。 In that case he
will grow tired of himself and come back; and you will both coo
like turtle doves until he runs away again。 Ugh! Serve you right
for getting married。 I wonder how people can be so mad as to do
it; with the example of their married acquaintances all warning
them against it。〃

〃You don't know what it is to love;〃 said Henrietta; plaintively;
and yet patronizingly。 〃Besides; we were not like other couples。〃

〃So it seems。 But never mind; tak
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