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liquid flow which is the blood; which is the life; and then to
have before you only a heap of limp flesh; cold; inert; void of
thought!
August 5。 I; who have passed my life in judging; condemning;
killing by words pronounced; killing by the guillotine those who
had killed by the knife; if I should do as all the assassins whom
I have smitten have done; I; Iwho would know it?
August 10。 Who would ever know? Who would ever suspect me;
especially if I should choose a being I had no interest in doing
away with?
August 22。 I could resist no longer。 I have killed a little
creature as an experiment; as a beginning。 Jean; my servant; had
a goldfinch in a cage hung in the office window。 I sent him on an
errand; and I took the little bird in my hand; in my hand where I
felt its heart beat。 It was warm。 I went up to my room。 From time
to time I squeezed it tighter; its heart beat faster; it was
atrocious and delicious。 I was nearly choking it。 But I could not
see the blood。
Then I took scissors; short nail scissors; and I cut its throat
in three strokes; quite gently。 It opened its bill; it struggled
to escape me; but I held it; oh! I held itI could have held a
mad dogand I saw the blood trickle。
And then I did as assassins doreal ones。 I washed the scissors
and washed my hands。 I sprinkled water; and took the body; the
corpse; to the garden to hide it。 I buried it under a
strawberry…plant。 It will never be found。 Every day I can eat a
strawberry from that plant。 How one can enjoy life; when one
knows how!
My servant cried; he thought his bird flown。 How could he suspect
me? Ah!
August 25。 I must kill a man! I must!
August 30。 It is done。 But what a little thing! I had gone for a
walk in the forest of Vernes。 I was thinking of nothing;
literally nothing。 See! a child on the road; a little child
eating a slice of bread and butter。 He stops to see me pass and
says; 〃Good day; Mr。 President。〃
And the thought enters my head: 〃Shall I kill him?〃
I answer: 〃You are alone; my boy?〃
〃Yes; sir。〃
〃All alone in the wood?〃
〃Yes; sir。〃
The wish to kill him intoxicated me like wine。 I approached him
quite softly; persuaded that he was going to run away。 And
suddenly I seized him by the throat。 He held my wrists in his
little hands; and his body writhed like a feather on the fire。
Then he moved no more。 I threw the body in the ditch; then some
weeds on top of it。 I returned home and dined well。 What a little
thing it was! In the evening I was very gay; light; rejuvenated;
and passed the evening at the Prefect's。 They found me witty。 But
I have not seen blood! I am not tranquil。
August 31。 The body has been discovered。 They are hunting for the
assassin。 Ah!
September 1。 Two tramps have been arrested。 Proofs are lacking。
September 2。 The parents have been to see me。 They wept! Ah!
October 6。 Nothing has been discovered。 Some strolling vagabond
must have done the deed。 Ah! If I had seen the blood flow it
seems to me I should be tranquil now!
October 10。 Yet another。 I was walking by the river; after
breakfast。 And I saw; under a willow; a fisherman asleep。 It was
noon。 A spade; as if expressly put there for me; was standing in
a potato…field near by。
I took it。 I returned; I raised it like a club; and with one blow
of the edge I cleft the fisherman's head。 Oh! he bled; this
one!rose…colored blood。 It flowed into the water quite gently。
And I went away with a grave step。 If I had been seen! Ah! I
should have made an excellent assassin。
October 25。 The affair of the fisherman makes a great noise。 His
nephew; who fished with him; is charged with the murder。
October 26。 The examining magistrate affirms that the nephew is
guilty。 Everybody in town believes it。 Ah! ah!
October 27。 The nephew defends himself badly。 He had gone to the
village to buy bread and cheese; he declares。 He swears that his
uncle had been killed in his absence! Who would believe him?
October 28。 The nephew has all but confessed; so much have they
made him lose his head! Ah! Justice!
November 15。 There are overwheming proofs against the nephew; who
was his uncle's heir。 I shall preside at the sessions。
January 25; 1852。 To death! to death! to death! I have had him
condemned to death! The advocate…general spoke like an angel! Ah!
Yet another! I shall go to see him executed!
March 10。 It is done。 They guillotined him this morning。 He died
very well! very well! That gave me pleasure! How fine it is to
see a man's head cut off!
Now; I shall wait; I can wait。 It would take such a little thing
to let myself be caught。
* * * * * * *
The manuscript contained more pages; but told of no new crime。
Alienist physicians to whom the awful story has been submitted
declare that there are in the world many unknown madmen; as
adroit and as terrible as this monstrous lunatic。
AN UNFORTUNATE LIKENESS
It was during one of those sudden changes of the electric light;
which at one time throws rays of exquisite pale pink; of a liquid
gold filtered through the light hair of a woman; and at another;
rays of bluish hue with strange tints; such as the sky assumes at
twilight; in which the women with their bare shoulders looked
like living flowersit was; I say; on the night of the first of
January at Montonirail's; the dainty painter of tall; undulating
figures; of bright dresses; of Parisian prettinessthat tall
Pescarelle; whom some called 〃Pussy;〃 though I do not know why;
suddenly said in a low voice:
〃Well; people were not altogether mistaken; in fact; were only
half wrong when they coupled my name with that of pretty Lucy
Plonelle。 She had caught me; just as a birdcatcher on a frosty
morning catches an imprudent wren on a limed twigin fact; she
might have done whatever she liked with me。
〃I was under the charm of her enigmatical and mocking smile; that
smile in which her teeth gleamed cruelly between her red lips;
and glistened as if they were ready to bite and to heighten the
pleasure of the most delightful; the most voluptuous; kiss by
pain。
〃I loved everything in herher feline suppleness; her languid
looks which emerged from her half…closed lids; full of promises
and temptation; her somewhat extreme elegance; and her hands;
those long; delicate white hands; with blue veins; like the
bloodless hands of a female saint in a stained glass window; and
her slender fingers; on which only the large blood…drop of a ruby
glittered。
〃I would have given her all my remaining youth and vigor to have
laid my burning hands upon the back of her cool; round neck; and
to feel that bright; silk; golden mane enveloping me and
caressing my skin。 I was never tired of hearing her disdainful;
petulant voice; those vibrations which sounded as if they
proceeded from clear glass; whose music; at times; became hoarse;
harsh; and fierce; like the loud; sonorous calls of the
Valkyries。
〃Good heavens! to be her lover; to be her chattel; to belong to
her; to devote one's whole existence to her; to spend one's last
half…penny and to sink in misery; only to have the glory and the
happiness of possessing her splendid beauty; the sweetness of her