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〃What's the use of occupying myself with anything。 For my part； I
do nothing at all； as you see； never anything。 When one has not
got a sou one can understand why one has to go to work。 What is
the good of working？ Do you work for yourself； or for others？ If
you work for yourself you do it for your own amusement； which is
all right； if you work for others； you reap nothing but
ingratitude。〃
Then sticking his pipe into his mouth； he called out anew：
〃Waiter； a 'bock。' It makes me thirsty to keep calling so。 I am
not accustomed to that sort of thing。 Yes； I do nothing； I let
things slide； and I am growing old。 In dying I shall have nothing
to regret。 If so； I should remember nothing； outside this
public…house。 I have no wife； no children； no cares； no sorrows；
nothing。 That is the very best thing that could happen to one。〃
He then emptied the glass which had been brought him； passed his
tongue over his lips； and resumed his pipe。
I looked at him stupefied and asked him：
〃But you have not always been like that？〃
〃Pardon me； sir； ever since I left college。〃
〃It is not a proper life to lead； my dear sir； it is simply
horrible。 Come； you must indeed have done something； you must
have loved something； you must have friends。〃
〃No； I get up at noon； I come here； I have my breakfast； I drink
my 'bock'； I remain until the evening； I have my dinner； I drink
'bock。' Then about one in the morning； I return to my couch；
because the place closes up。 And it is this latter that embitters
me more than anything。 For the last ten years； I have passed
six…tenths of my time on this bench； in my corner； and the other
four…tenths in my bed； never changing。 I talk sometimes with the
habitues。〃
〃But on arriving in Paris what did you do at first？〃
〃I paid my devoirs to the Cafe de Medicis。〃
〃What next？〃
〃Next？ I crossed the water and came here。〃
〃Why did you take even that trouble？〃
〃What do you mean？ One cannot remain all one's life in the Latin
Quarter。 The students make too much noise。 But I do not move
about any longer。 Waiter； a 'bock。' 〃
I now began to think that he was making fun of me； and I
continued：
〃Come now； be frank。 You have been the victim of some great
sorrow； despair in love； no doubt！ It is easy to see that you are
a man whom misfortune has hit hard。 What age are you？〃
〃I am thirty years of age； but I look to be forty…five at least。〃
I looked him straight in the face。 His shrunken figure； badly
cared for； gave one the impression that he was an old man。 On the
summit of his cranium； a few long hairs shot straight up from a
skin of doubtful cleanness。 He had enormous eyelashes； a large
mustache； and a thick beard。 Suddenly I had a kind of vision； I
know not whythe vision of a basin filled with noisome water；
the water which should have been applied to that poll。 I said to
him：
〃Verily； you look to be more than that age。 Of a certainty you
must have experienced some great disappointment。〃
He replied：
〃I tell you that I have not。 I am old because I never take air。
There is nothing that vitiates the life of a man more than the
atmosphere of a cafe。〃 I could not believe him。
〃You must surely have been married as well？ One could not get as
baldheaded as you are without having been much in love。〃
He shook his head； sending down his back little hairs from the
scalp：
〃No； I have always been virtuous。〃
And raising his eyes toward the luster； which beat down on our
heads； he said：
〃If I am baldheaded； it is the fault of the gas。 It is the enemy
of hair。 Waiter； a 'bock。' You must be thirsty also？〃
〃No； thank you。 But you certainly interest me。 When did you have
your first discouragement？ Your life is not normal； is not
natural。 There is something under it all。〃
〃Yes； and it dates from my infancy。 I received a heavy blow when
I was very young。 It turned my life into darkness； which will
last to the end。〃
〃How did it come about？〃
〃You wish to know about it？ Well； then； listen。 You recall； of
course； the castle in which I was brought up； seeing that you
used to visit it for five or six months during the vacations？ You
remember that large； gray building in the middle of a great park；
and the long avenues of oaks； which opened toward the four
cardinal points！ You remember my father and my mother； both of
whom were ceremonious； solemn； and severe。
〃I worshiped my mother； I was suspicious of my father； but I
respected both； accustomed always as I was to see everyone bow
before them。 In the country； they were Monsieur le Comte and
Madame la Comtesse； and our neighbors； the Tannemares； the
Ravelets； the Brennevilles； showed the utmost consideration for
them。
〃I was then thirteen years old； happy； satisfied with everything；
as one is at that age； and full of joy and vivacity。
〃Now toward the end of September； a few days before entering the
Lycee； while I was enjoying myself in the mazes of the park；
climbing the trees and swinging on the branches； I saw crossing
an avenue my father and mother； who were walking together。
〃I recall the thing as though it were yesterday。 It was a very
windy day。 The whole line of trees bent under the pressure of the
wind； moaned and seemed to utter criescries dull； yet deepso
that the whole forest groaned under the gale。
〃Evening had come on； and it was dark in the thickets。 The
agitation of the wind and the branches excited me； made me skip
about like an idiot； and howl in imitation of the wolves。
〃As soon as I perceived my parents； I crept furtively toward
them； under the branches； in order to surprise them； as though I
had been a veritable wolf。 But suddenly seized with fear； I
stopped a few paces from them。 My father； a prey to the most
violent passion； cried：
〃 'Your mother is a fool； moreover； it is not your mother that is
the question； it is you。 I tell you that I want money； and I will
make you sign this。'
〃My mother responded in a firm voice：
〃 'I will not sign it。 It is Jean's fortune； I shall guard it for
him and I will not allow you to devour it with strange women； as
you have your own heritage。'
〃Then my father； full of rage； wheeled round and seized his wife
by the throat； and began to slap her full in the face with the
disengaged hand。
〃My mother's hat fell off； her hair became disheveled and fell
down her back： she essayed to parry the blows； but could not
escape from them。 And my father； like a madman； banged and banged
at her。 My mother rolled over on the ground； covering her face in
both her hands。 Then he turned her over on her back in order to
batter her still more； pulling away the hands which were covering
her face。
〃As for me； my friend； it seemed as though the world had come to
an end； that the eternal laws had changed。 I experienced the
overwhelming dread that one has in presence of things
supernatural； in presence of irreparable disaster。 My boyish head
whirled round and soared。 I began to cry with all my might；
without knowing why； a prey to terror； to grief； to a dreadful
bewilderment。 My father heard me； turned round； and； on seeing
me； made as though he would rush at me。 I believed that he