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home； and was set down the next morning in this great city of
London。 As I walked from the coach…office to the hotel； I
could not help exulting in the pleasant change that had
befallen me； beholding； meanwhile； with innocent delight； the
traffic of the streets； and depicting； in all the colours of
fancy； the reception that awaited me from John。 But alas！
when I inquired for Mr。 Fanshawe； the porter assured me there
was no such gentleman among the guests。 By what channel our
secret had leaked out； or what pressure had been brought to
bear on the too facile John； I could never fathom。 Enough
that my family had triumphed； that I found myself alone in
London； tender in years； smarting under the most sensible
mortification； and by every sentiment of pride and self…
respect debarred for ever from my father's house。
I rose under the blow； and found lodgings in the
neighbourhood of Euston Road； where； for the first time in my
life； I tasted the joys of independence。 Three days
afterwards； an advertisement in the TIMES directed me to the
office of a solicitor whom I knew to be in my father's
confidence。 There I was given the promise of a very moderate
allowance； and a distinct intimation that I must never look
to be received at home。 I could not but resent so cruel a
desertion； and I told the lawyer it was a meeting I desired
as little as themselves。 He smiled at my courageous spirit；
paid me the first quarter of my income； and gave me the
remainder of my personal effects； which had been sent to me；
under his care； in a couple of rather ponderous boxes。 With
these I returned in triumph to my lodgings； more content with
my position than I should have thought possible a week
before； and fully determined to make the best of the future。
All went well for several months； and； indeed； it was my own
fault alone that ended this pleasant and secluded episode of
life。 I have； I must confess； the fatal trick of spoiling my
inferiors。 My landlady； to whom I had as usual been
overkind； impertinently called me in fault for some
particular too small to mention； and I； annoyed that I had
allowed her the freedom upon which she thus presumed； ordered
her to leave my presence。 She stood a moment dumb； and then；
recalling her self…possession； 'Your bill；' said she； 'shall
be ready this evening； and to…morrow； madam； you shall leave
my house。 See；' she added； 'that you are able to pay what
you owe me； for if I do not receive the uttermost farthing；
no box of yours shall pass my threshold。'
I was confounded at her audacity； but as a whole quarter's
income was due to me； not otherwise affected by the threat。
That afternoon； as I left the solicitor's door； carrying in
one hand； and done up in a paper parcel； the whole amount of
my fortune； there befell me one of those decisive incidents
that sometimes shape a life。 The lawyer's office was situate
in a street that opened at the upper end upon the Strand； and
was closed at the lower； at the time of which I speak； by a
row of iron railings looking on the Thames。 Down this
street； then； I beheld my stepmother advancing to meet me；
and doubtless bound to the very house I had just left。 She
was attended by a maid whose face was new to me； but her own
was too clearly printed on my memory； and the sight of it；
even from a distance； filled me with generous indignation。
Flight was impossible。 There was nothing left but to retreat
against the railing； and with my back turned to the street；
pretend to be admiring the barges on the river or the
chimneys of transpontine London。
I was still so standing； and had not yet fully mastered the
turbulence of my emotions； when a voice at my elbow addressed
me with a trivial question。 It was the maid whom my
stepmother； with characteristic hardness； had left to await
her on the street； while she transacted her business with the
family solicitor。 The girl did not know who I was； the
opportunity too golden to be lost； and I was soon hearing the
latest news of my father's rectory and parish。 It did not
surprise me to find that she detested her employers； and yet
the terms in which she spoke of them were hard to bear； hard
to let pass unchallenged。 I heard them； however； without
dissent； for my self…command is wonderful； and we might have
parted as we met； had she not proceeded； in an evil hour； to
criticise the rector's missing daughter； and with the most
shocking perversions； to narrate the story of her flight。 My
nature is so essentially generous that I can never pause to
reason。 I flung up my hand sharply； by way； as well as I
remember； of indignant protest； and； in the act； the packet
slipped from my fingers； glanced between the railings； and
fell and sunk in the river。 I stood a moment petrified； and
then； struck by the drollery of the incident； gave way to
peals of laughter。 I was still laughing when my stepmother
reappeared； and the maid； who doubtless considered me insane；
ran off to join her； nor had I yet recovered my gravity when
I presented myself before the lawyer to solicit a fresh
advance。 His answer made me serious enough； for it was a
flat refusal； and it was not until I had besought him even
with tears； that he consented to lend me ten pounds from his
own pocket。 'I am a poor man；' said he； 'and you must look
for nothing farther at my hands。'
The landlady met me at the door。 'Here； madam；' said she；
with a curtsey insolently low； 'here is my bill。 Would it
inconvenience you to settle it at once？'
'You shall be paid； madam；' said I； 'in the morning； in the
proper course。' And I took the paper with a very high air；
but inwardly quaking。
I had no sooner looked at it than I perceived myself to be
lost。 I had been short of money and had allowed my debt to
mount； and it had now reached the sum； which I shall never
forget； of twelve pounds thirteen and fourpence halfpenny。
All evening I sat by the fire considering my situation。 I
could not pay the bill； my landlady would not suffer me to
remove my boxes； and without either baggage or money； how was
I to find another lodging？ For three months； unless I could
invent some remedy； I was condemned to be without a roof and
without a penny。 It can surprise no one that I decided on
immediate flight； but even here I was confronted by a
difficulty； for I had no sooner packed my boxes than I found
I was not strong enough to move； far less to carry them。
In this strait I did not hesitate a moment； but throwing on a
shawl and bonnet； and covering my face with a thick veil； I
betook myself to that great bazaar of dangerous and smiling
chances； the pavement of the city。 It was already late at
night； and the weather being wet and windy； there were few
abroad besides policemen。 These； on my present mission； I
had wit enough to know for enemies； and wherever I perceived
their moving lanterns； I made haste to turn aside and choose
another thoroughfare。 A few miserable women still walked the
pavement； here and there were young fellows returning drunk；
or ruffians of