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He knew no guile； this simple man； No worldly wile； or plot； or plan；
Except that plot of freehold land That held the cot； and MARY； and Her
worthy father； named by me GREGORY PARABLE； LL。D。
A grave and learned scholar he； Yet simple as a child could be。 He'd
shirk his meal to sit and cram A goodish deal of Eton Gram。 No man alive
could him nonplus With vocative of FILIUS； No man alive more fully
knew The passive of a verb or two； None better knew the worth than he Of
words that end in B； D； T。 Upon his green in early spring He might be seen
endeavouring To understand the hooks and crooks Of HENRY and his
Latin books； Or calling for his 〃Caesar on The Gallic War；〃 like any don；
Or； p'raps； expounding unto all How mythic BALBUS built a wall。 So
lived the sage who's named by me GREGORY PARABLE； LL。D。
To him one autumn day there came A lovely youth of mystic name： He
took a lodging in the house； And fell a…dodging snipe and grouse； For； oh！
that mild scholastic one Let shooting for a single gun。
By three or four； when sport was o'er； The Mystic One laid by his gun；
And made sheep's eyes of giant size； Till after tea； at MARY P。 And
MARY P。 （so kind was she）； She； too； made eyes of giant size； Whose
every dart right through the heart Appeared to run that Mystic One。 The
Doctor's whim engrossing him； He did not know they flirted so。 For； save
at tea； 〃MUSA MUSAE；〃 As I'm advised； monopolised And rendered
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blind his giant mind。 But looking up above his cup One afternoon； he saw
them spoon。 〃Aha！〃 quoth he； 〃you naughty lass！ As quaint old OVID says；
'Amas！'〃
The Mystic Youth avowed the truth； And； claiming ruth； he said； 〃In
sooth I love your daughter； aged man： Refuse to join us if you can。 Treat
not my offer； sir； with scorn； I'm wealthy though I'm lowly born。〃 〃Young
sir；〃 the aged scholar said； 〃I never thought you meant to wed： Engrossed
completely with my books； I little noticed lovers' looks。 I've lived so long
away from man； I do not know of any plan By which to test a lover's
worth； Except； perhaps； the test of birth。 I've half forgotten in this wild A
father's duty to his child。 It is his place； I think it's said； To see his
daughters richly wed To dignitaries of the earth … If possible； of noble birth。
If noble birth is not at hand； A father may； I understand （And this affords a
chance for you）； Be satisfied to wed her to A BOUCICAULT or BARING
… which Means any one who's very rich。 Now； there's an Earl who lives
hard by； … My child and I will go and try If he will make the maid his bride
… If not； to you she shall be tied。〃
They sought the Earl that very day； The Sage began to say his say。 The
Earl （a very wicked man； Whose face bore Vice's blackest ban） Cut short
the scholar's simple tale； And said in voice to make them quail； 〃Pooh！ go
along！ you're drunk； no doubt … Here； PETERS； turn these people out！〃
The Sage； rebuffed in mode uncouth； Returning； met the Mystic Youth。
〃My darling boy；〃 the Scholar said； 〃Take MARY … blessings on your
head！〃
The Mystic Boy undid his vest； And took a parchment from his breast；
And said； 〃Now； by that noble brow； I ne'er knew father such as thou！ The
sterling rule of common sense Now reaps its proper recompense。 Rejoice；
my soul's unequalled Queen； For I am DUKE OF GRETNA GREEN！〃
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Ballad： The King Of Canoodle…
Dum
The story of FREDERICK GOWLER； A mariner of the sea； Who
quitted his ship； the HOWLER； A…sailing in Caribbee。 For many a day he
wandered； Till he met in a state of rum CALAMITY POP VON
PEPPERMINT DROP； The King of Canoodle…Dum。
That monarch addressed him gaily； 〃Hum！ Golly de do to…day？ Hum！
Lily…white Buckra Sailee〃 … （You notice his playful way？） … 〃What dickens
you doin' here； sar？ Why debbil you want to come？ Hum！ Picaninnee；
dere isn't no sea In City Canoodle…Dum！〃
And GOWLER he answered sadly； 〃Oh； mine is a doleful tale！
They've treated me werry badly In Lunnon； from where I hail。 I'm one of
the Family Royal … No common Jack Tar you see； I'm WILLIAM THE
FOURTH； far up in the North； A King in my own countree！〃
Bang…bang！ How the tom…toms thundered！ Bang…bang！ How they
thumped this gongs！ Bang…bang！ How the people wondered！ Bang…bang！
At it hammer and tongs！ Alliance with Kings of Europe Is an honour
Canoodlers seek； Her monarchs don't stop with PEPPERMINT DROP
Every day in the week！
FRED told them that he was undone； For his people all went insane；
And fired the Tower of London； And Grinnidge's Naval Fane。 And some
of them racked St。 James's； And vented their rage upon The Church of St。
Paul； the Fishmongers' Hall； And the Angel at Islington。
CALAMITY POP implored him In his capital to remain Till those
people of his restored him To power and rank again。 CALAMITY POP he
made him A Prince of Canoodle…Dum； With a couple of caves； some
beautiful slaves； And the run of the royal rum。
Pop gave him his only daughter； HUM PICKETY WIMPLE TIP：
FRED vowed that if over the water He went； in an English ship； He'd
make her his Queen； … though truly It is an unusual thing For a Caribbee
brat who's as black as your hat To be wife of an English King。
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And all the Canoodle…Dummers They copied his rolling walk； His
method of draining rummers； His emblematical talk。 For his dress and his
graceful breeding； His delicate taste in rum； And his nautical way； were
the talk of the day In the Court of Canoodle…Dum。
CALAMITY POP most wisely Determined in everything To model his
Court precisely On that of the English King； And ordered that every lady
And every lady's lord Should masticate jacky （a kind of tobaccy）； And
scatter its juice abroad。
They signified wonder roundly At any astounding yarn； By darning
their dear eyes roundly （'T was all they had to darn）。 They 〃hoisted their
slacks；〃 adjusting Garments of plantain…leaves With nau