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My head isn't strong； and the song has been long； Excellent MILLY DE
PLOW！
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The Bab Ballads
Ballad： The Modest Couple
When man and maiden meet； I like to see a drooping eye； I always
droop my own … I am the shyest of the shy。 I'm also fond of bashfulness；
and sitting down on thorns； For modesty's a quality that womankind
adorns。
Whenever I am introduced to any pretty maid； My knees they knock
together； just as if I were afraid； I flutter； and I stammer； and I turn a
pleasing red； For to laugh； and flirt； and ogle I consider most ill…bred。
But still in all these matters； as in other things below； There is a proper
medium； as I'm about to show。 I do not recommend a newly…married pair
to try To carry on as PETER carried on with SARAH BLIGH。
Betrothed they were when very young … before they'd learnt to speak
（For SARAH was but six days old； and PETER was a week）； Though little
more than babies at those early ages； yet They bashfully would faint when
they occasionally met。
They blushed； and flushed； and fainted； till they reached the age of
nine； When PETER'S good papa （he was a Baron of the Rhine）
Determined to endeavour some sound argument to find To bring these shy
young people to a proper frame of mind。
He told them that as SARAH was to be his PETER'S bride； They
might at least consent to sit at table side by side； He begged that they
would now and then shake hands； till he was hoarse； Which SARAH
thought indelicate； and PETER very coarse。
And PETER in a tremble to the blushing maid would say； 〃You must
excuse papa； MISS BLIGH； … it is his mountain way。〃 Says SARAH； 〃His
behaviour I'll endeavour to forget； But your papa's the coarsest person that
I ever met。
〃He plighted us without our leave； when we were very young； Before
we had begun articulating with the tongue。 His underbred suggestions fill
your SARAH with alarm； Why； gracious me！ he'll ask us next to walk out
arm…in…arm！〃
At length when SARAH reached the legal age of twenty…one； The
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The Bab Ballads
Baron he determined to unite her to his son； And SARAH in a fainting…fit
for weeks unconscious lay； And PETER blushed so hard you might have
heard him miles away。
And when the time arrived for taking SARAH to his heart； They were
married in two churches half…a…dozen miles apart （Intending to escape all
public ridicule and chaff）； And the service was conducted by electric
telegraph。
And when it was concluded； and the priest had said his say； Until the
time arrived when they were both to drive away； They never spoke or
offered for to fondle or to fawn； For HE waited in the attic； and SHE
waited on the lawn。
At length； when four o'clock arrived； and it was time to go； The
carriage was announced； but decent SARAH answered 〃No！ Upon my
word； I'd rather sleep my everlasting nap； Than go and ride alone with MR。
PETER in a trap。〃
And PETER'S over…sensitive and highly…polished mind Wouldn't
suffer him to sanction a proceeding of the kind； And further； he declared
he suffered overwhelming shocks At the bare idea of having any
coachman on the box。
So PETER into one turn…out incontinently rushed； While SARAH in a
second trap sat modestly and blushed； And MR。 NEWMAN'S coachman；
on authority I've heard； Drove away in gallant style upon the coach…box of
a third。
Now； though this modest couple in the matter of the car Were very
likely carrying a principle too far； I hold their shy behaviour was more
laudable in them Than that of PETER'S brother with MISS SARAH'S
sister EM。
ALPHONSO； who in cool assurance all creation licks； He up and said
to EMMIE （who had impudence for six）； 〃MISS EMILY； I love you … will
you marry？ Say the word！〃 And EMILY said； 〃Certainly； ALPHONSO；
like a bird！〃
I do not recommend a newly…married pair to try To carry on as PETER
carried on with SARAH BLIGH； But still their shy behaviour was more
laudable in them Than that of PETER'S brother with MISS SARAH'S
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The Bab Ballads
sister EM。
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The Bab Ballads
Ballad： The Martinet
Some time ago； in simple verse I sang the story true Of CAPTAIN
REECE； the MANTELPIECE； And all her happy crew。
I showed how any captain may Attach his men to him； If he but heeds
their smallest needs； And studies every whim。
Now mark how； by Draconic rule And HAUTEUR ill…advised； The
noblest crew upon the Blue May be demoralized。
When his ungrateful country placed Kind REECE upon half…pay；
Without much claim SIR BERKELY came； And took command one day。
SIR BERKELY was a martinet … A stern unyielding soul … Who ruled
his ship by dint of whip And horrible black…hole。
A sailor who was overcome From having freely dined； And chanced to
reel when at the wheel； He instantly confined！
And tars who； when an action raged； Appeared alarmed or scared； And
those below who wished to go； He very seldom spared。
E'en he who smote his officer For punishment was booked； And
mutinies upon the seas He rarely overlooked。
In short； the happy MANTELPIECE； Where all had gone so well；
Beneath that fool SIR BERKELY'S rule Became a floating hell。
When first SIR BERKELY came aboard He read a speech to all； And
told them how he'd made a vow To act on duty's call。
Then WILLIAM LEE； he up and said （The Captain's coxswain he）；
〃We've heard the speech your honour's made； And werry pleased we be。
〃We won't pretend； my lad； as how We're glad to lose our REECE；
Urbane； polite； he suited quite The saucy MANTELPIECE。
〃But if your honour gives your mind To study all our ways； With
dance and song we'll jog along As in those happy days。
〃I like your honour's