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I can do it。'
Sebastian broke out into exclamations at the words 'if I can；' as if he
thought everything in the power of the heir of Redclyffe。
'Have I not told you；' said Guy； 'that for the present I have very
little command of money？ Hush！ no more of that；' he added； sternly；
cutting off an imprecation which his uncle was commencing on those who
kept him so short。
'And you are content to bear it？ Did you never hear of ways and means？
If you were to say but one word of borrowing； they would go down on
their knees to you； and offer you every farthing you have to keep you
in their own hands。'
'I am quite satisfied；' said Guy； coldly。
'The greater fool are you！' was on Dixon's lips； but he did not utter
it； because he wanted to propitiate him； and after some more
circumlocution； Guy succeeded in discovering that he had been gambling；
and had lost an amount which； unless he could obtain immediate
assistance； would become known； and lead to the loss of his character
and situation。 Guy stood and considered。 He had an impulse； but he
did not think it a safe one； and resolved to give himself time。
'I do not say that I cannot help you；' he answered； 'but I must have
time to consider。'
'Time！ would you see me ruined while you are considering？'
'I suppose this must be paid immediately。 Where do you lodge？'
Mr。 Dixon told him the street and number。
'You shall hear from me to…morrow morning。 I cannot trust my present
thoughts。 Good night！'
Mr。 Dixon would fain have guessed whether the present thoughts were
favourable； but all his hope in his extremity was in his nephew； it
might be fatal to push him too far； and； with a certain trust in his
good…nature； Sebastian allowed him to walk away without further
remonstrance。
Guy knew his own impetuous nature too well to venture to act on impulse
in a doubtful case。 He had now first to consider what he was able to
do； and secondly what he would do； and this was not as clear to his
mind as in the earlier days of his acquaintance with his uncle。
Their intercourse had never been on a comfortable footing。 It would
perhaps have been better if Philip's advice had been followed； and no
connection kept up。 Guy had once begged for some definite rule； since
there was always vexation when he was known to have been with his
uncle； and yet Mr。 Edmonstone would never absolutely say he ought not
to see him。 As long as his guardian permitted it； or rather winked at
it； Guy did not think it necessary to attend to Philip's marked
disapproval。 Part of it was well founded； but part was dislike to all
that might be considered as vulgar； and part was absolute injustice to
Sebastian Dixon； there was everything that could offend in his line of
argument； and in the very circumstance of his interfering； and Guy had
a continual struggle； in which he was not always successful； to avoid
showing the affront he had taken； and to reason down his subsequent
indignation。 The ever…recurring irritation which Philip's conversation
was apt to cause him； made him avoid it as far as he could； and retreat
in haste from the subjects on which they were most apt to disagree； and
so his manner had assumed an air of reserve； and almost of distrust；
with his cousin； that was very unlike its usual winning openness。
This had been one unfortunate effect of his intercourse with his uncle；
and another was a certain vague； dissatisfied feeling which his
silence； and Philip's insinuations respecting the days he spent in
London； left on Mr。 Edmonstone's mind； and which gained strength from
their recurrence。 The days were； indeed； not many； it was only that in
coming from and going to Oxford； he slept a night at an hotel in London
（for his uncle never would take him to his lodgings； never even would
tell him where they were； but always gave his address at the place of
his engagement）； was conducted by him to some concert in the evening；
and had him to breakfast in the morning。 He could not think there was
any harm in this； he explained all he had done to Mr。 Edmonstone the
first time； but nothing was gained by it： his visits to London
continued to be treated as something to be excused or overlookedas
something not quite correct。
He would almost have been ready to discontinue them； but that he saw
that his uncle regarded him with affection； and he could not bear the
thought of giving up a poor relation for the sake of the opinion of his
rich friends。 These meetings were the one pure pleasure to which
Sebastian looked； recalling to him the happier days of his youth； and
of his friendship with Guy's father； and when Guy perceived how he
valued them； it would have seemed a piece of cruel neglect to gratify
himself by giving the time to Hollywell。
Early in the course of their acquaintance； the importunity of a
creditor revealed that； in spite of his handsome salary； Sebastian
Dixon was often in considerable distress for money。 In process of
time； Guy discovered that at the time his uncle had been supporting his
sister and her husband in all the luxury he thought befitted their
rank； he had contracted considerable debts； and he had only been able
to return to England on condition of paying so much a…year to his
creditors。 This left him very little on which to maintain his family；
but still his pride made him bent on concealing his difficulties； and
it was not without a struggle that he would at first consent to receive
assistance from his nephew。
Guy resolved that these debts； which he considered as in fact his
father's own； should be paid as soon as he had the command of his
property； but； in the meantime； he thought himself bound to send his
uncle all the help in his power； and when once the effort of accepting
it at all was over； Dixon's expectations extended far beyond his power。
His allowance was not large； and the constant requests for a few pounds
to meet some pressing occasion were more than he could well meet。 They
kept him actually a great deal poorer than men without a tenth part of
his fortune； and at the end of the term he would look back with
surprise at having been able to pay his way； but still he contrived
neither to exceed his allowance； nor to get into debt。 This was；
indeed； only done by a rigid self…denial of little luxuries such as
most young men look on nearly as necessaries； but he had never been
brought up to think self…indulgence a consequence of riches； he did not
care what was said of him； he had no expensive tastes； for he did not
seek after society； so that he was not ill…prepared for such a course；
and only thought of it as an assistance in abstaining from the time…
wasting that might have tempted him if he had had plenty of money to
spend。
The only thing that concerned him was a growing doubt lest he might be
feeding extravagance instead o