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spoke on； his agitation becoming so strong； that the struggle was
perceptible in the forced calmness of his tone。 'I would not say a
word if he were worthy； but LauraLaura； I have seen Locksley Hall
acted once； do not let me see it again in a way whichwhich would give
me infinitely more pain。'
The faltering of his voice； so resolutely subdued； touched； her
extremely； and a thrill of exquisite pleasure glanced through her； on
hearing confirmed what she had long felt； that she had taken Margaret's
placenay； as she now learnt； that she was even more precious to him。
She only thought of reassuring him。
'No； you need never fear _that_。 He has no such thought； I am sure。'
She blushed deeply； but looked in his face。 'He treats us both alike；
besides； he is so young。'
'The mischief is not done；' said Philip； trying to resume his usual
tone； 'I only meant to speak in time。 You might let your manner go too
far； you might even allow your affections to be involved without
knowing it； if you were not on your guard。'
'Never！' said Laura。 'Oh； no； I could never dream of that with Guy。 I
like Guy very much； I think better of him than you do； but oh no； he
could never be my first and best； I could never care for him in _that_
way。 How could you think so； Philip？'
'Laura； I cannot but look on you with what may seem over…solicitude。
Since I lost Fanny； and worse than lost Margaret； you have been my
home； my first； my most precious interest。 0 Laura！' and he did not
even attempt to conceal the trembling and tenderness of his voice；
'could I bear to lose you； to see you thrown away or changedyou；
dearest； best of all？'
Laura did not turn away her head this time； but raising her beautiful
face； glowing with such a look as had never beamed there before； while
tears rose to her eyes； she said； 'Don't speak of my changing towards
you。 I never could； for if there is anything to care for in me； it is
you that have taught it to me。'
If ever face plainly told another that he was her first and best；
Laura's did so now。 Away went misgivings； and he looked at her in
happiness too great for speech； at least； he could not speak till he
had mastered his emotion； but his countenance was sufficient reply。
Even then； in the midst of this flood of ecstasy； came the thought；
'What have I done？'
He had gone further than he had ever intended。 It was a positive
avowal of love； and what would ensue？ Cessation of intercourse with
her； endless vexations； the displeasure of her family； loss of
influence； contempt； and from Mr。 Edmonstone； for the pretensions of a
penniless soldier。 His joy was too great to be damped； but it was
rendered cautious。 'Laura； my own！' （what delight the words gave her；）
'you have made me very happy。 We know each other now； and trust each
other for ever。'
'0 yes； yes； nothing can alter what has grown up with us。'
'It is for ever！' repeated Philip。 'But； Laura； let us be content with
our own knowledge of what we are to each other。 Do not let us call in
others to see our happiness。'
Laura looked surprised； for she always considered any communication
about his private feelings too sacred to be repeated； and wondered he
should think the injunction necessary。 'I never can bear to talk about
the best kinds of happiness；' said she； 'but oh！' and she sprang up；
'here they come。'
Poor Mrs。 Edmonstone； as she walked back from her mushroom…field； she
little guessed that words had been spoken which would give the
colouring to her daughter's whole lifeshe little guessed that her
much…loved and esteemed nephew had betrayed her confidence！ As she and
the girls came up； Philip advanced to meet them； that Laura might have
a few moments to recover； while with an effort he kept himself from
appearing absent in the conversation that ensued。 It was brief； for
having answered some questions with regard to the doings on the
important day； he said； that since he had met them he would not come on
to Hollywell； and bade them farewell； giving Laura a pressure of the
hand which renewed the glow on her face。
He walked back； trying to look through the dazzling haze of joy so as
to see his situation clearly。 It was impossible for him not to
perceive that there had been an absolute declaration of affection； and
that he had established a private understanding with his cousin。 It
was not； however； an engagement； nor did he at present desire to make
it so。 It was impossible for him as yet to marry； and he was content
to wait without a promise； since that could not add to his entire
reliance on Laura。 He could not bear to be rejected by her parents： he
knew his poverty would be the sole ground of objection； and he was not
asking her to share it。 He believed sincerely that a long； lingering
attachment to himself would be more for her good than a marriage with
one who would have been a high prize for worldly aims； and was
satisfied that by winning her heart he had taken the only sure means of
securing her from becoming attached to Guy； while secrecy was the only
way of preserving his intercourse with her on the same footing； and
exerting his influence over the family。
It was calmly reflected； for Philip's love was tranquil； though deep
and steady； and the rather sought to preserve Laura as she was than to
make her anything more； and this very calmness contributed to his self…
deception on this first occasion that he had ever actually swerved from
the path of right。
With an uncomfortable sensation； he met Guy riding home from his tutor；
entirely unsuspicious。 He stopped and talked of the preparations at
Broadstone； where he had been over the ground with Maurice de Courcy；
and had heard the band。
'What did you think of it？ said Philip； absently。
'They _should_ keep better time！ Really； Philip； there is one fellow
with a bugle that ought to be flogged every day of his life！' said Guy；
making a droll； excruciated face。
How a few words can change the whole current of ideas。 The band was
connected with Philip； therefore he could not bear to hear it found
fault with； and adduced some one's opinion that the man in question was
one of the best of their musicians。
Guy could not help shrugging his shoulders； as he laughed； and said；
'Then I shall be obliged to take to my heels if I meet the rest。 Good…
bye。'
'How conceited they have made that boy about his fine ear；' thought
Philip。 'I wonder he is not ashamed to parade his music； considering
whence it is derived。'
CHAPTER 9
Ah！ county Guy； the hour is nigh；
The sun has left the lea；
The orange flower perfumes the bower；
The breeze is on the sea。
The lark； his lay； who thrilled all day；
Sits hushed； his partner nigh；
Breeze； bird； and flower； confess the hour；
But where is county Guy？SCO