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Philip groaned; and she thought it best to go on to something else。 'I
like this best;' she said。 'It will be nice to think of far away。 I
should like; too; for these Italians to see the stranger has the same
creed as themselves。'
After a moment's pause; during which he looked at the paper; he said;
'Amy; I have one thing to ask of you。 Will you write my name in the
Prayer…book?'
'That I will;' said she; and Philip drew it from under the sofa
cushion; and began putting together his pocket gold pen。 While he was
doing this; she said; 'Will you write to me sometimes? I shall be so
anxious to know how you get on。'
'Yes; thank you;' said he; with a sigh; as if he would fain have said
more。
She paused; then said; abruptly; 'Do you know they never had your
letter?'
'Ha! Good heavens!' cried he; starting up in consternation; 'then they
don't know it!'
'They do。 Sit down; Philip; and hear。 I wanted to tell you about it。
They know it。 Poor Laura was so unhappy when you were ill; that mamma
made it out from her。'
He obeyed the hand that invited him back to his seat; and turned his
face earnestly towards her。 He must let her be his comforter; though a
moment before his mind would have revolted at troubling the newly…made
widow with his love affairs。 Amabel told him; as fully and clearly as
she could; how the truth had come out; how gently Laura had been dealt
with; how Charles had been trying to soften his father; and papa had
not said one angry word to her。
'They forgive her。 Oh; Amy; thanks indeed! You have taken away one of
the heaviest burdens。 I am glad; indeed; that she spoke first。 For my
own part; I see through all their kindness and consideration how they
regard me。'
'They know how sorry you are; and that you wrote to tell all;' said
Amabel。 'They forgive; indeed they do; but they cannot bear to speak
about it just yet。'
'If you forgive; Amy;' said he; in a husky voice; 'I may hope for
pardon from any。'
'Hush! don't say that。 You have been so kind; all this time; and we
have felt together so much; that no one could help forgetting anything
that went before。 Then you will write to me; and will you tell me how
to direct to you?'
'You will write to me?' cried Philip; brightening for a moment with
glad surprise。 'Oh; Amy; you will quite overpower me with your
goodness! The coals of fire;' he finished; sinking his voice; and
again pressing his hand to his brow。
'You must not speak so; Philip;' then looking at him; 'Is your head
aching?'
'Not so much aching as' he paused; and exclaimed; as if carried away
in spite of himself; 'almost bursting with the thoughts ofof you;
Amy;of him whom I knew too late;wilfully misunderstood; envied;
persecuted; who;oh! Amy; Amy; if you could guess at the anguish of
but one of my thoughts; you would know what the first murderer meant
when he said; 〃My punishment is greater than I can bear。〃'
'I can't say don't think;' said Amy; in her sweet; calm tone; 'for I
have seen how happy repentance made him; but I know it must be
dreadful。 I suppose the worse it is at the time; the better it must be
afterwards。 And I am sure this Prayer…book'she had her hand on it
all the time; as if it was a pleasure to her to touch it again'must
be a comfort to you。 Did you not see that he made me give it to you to
use that day; when; if ever; there was pardon and peace'
'I remember;' said Philip; in a low; grave; heartfelt tone; and as she
took the pen; and was writing his name below the old inscription; he
added; 'And the date; Amy; andyes;' as he saw her write 'From G。 M。'…
…'but put from A。 F。 M。 too。 Thank you! One thing more;' he
hesitated; and spoke very low; 'You _must_ write in it what you said
when you came to fetch me that day;〃A broken〃'
As she finished writing; Mrs。 Edmonstone came in。 ' My Amy; all is
ready。 We must go。 Good…bye; Philip;' said she; in the tone of one so
eager for departure as to fancy farewells would hasten it。 However;
she was not more eager than Mr。 Edmonstone; who rushed in to hurry them
on; shaking hands cordially with Philip; and telling him to make haste
and recover his good looks。 Amabel held out her hand。 She would fain
have said something cheering; but the power failed her。 A deep colour
came into her cheeks; she drew her thick black veil over her face; and
turned away。
Philip came down…stairs with them; saw her enter the carriage followed
by her mother; Mr。 Edmonstone outside。 He remembered the gay smile
with which he last saw her seated in that carriage; and the active
figure that had sprung after her; he thought of the kind bright eyes
that had pleaded with him for the last time; and recollected the
suspicions and the pride with which he had plumed himself on his
rejection; and thrown away the last chance。
Should he ever see Amabel again? He groaned and went back to the
deserted rooms。
CHAPTER 37
And see
If aught of sprightly; fresh; or free;
With the calm sweetness may compare
Of the pale form half slumbering there。
Therefore this one dear couch about
We linger hour by hour:
The love that each to each we bear;
All treasures of enduring care;
Into her lap we pour。LYRA INNOCENTUM
The brother and sisters; left at home together; had been a very sad and
silent party; unable to attempt comforting each other。 Charlotte's
grief was wild and ungovernable; breaking out into fits of sobbing; and
attending to nothing till she was abashed first by a reproof from Mr。
Ross; and next by the description of Amabel's conduct; when she grew
ashamed and set herself to atone; by double care; for her neglect of
Charles's comforts。
Charles; however; wanted her little。 He had rather be let alone。
After one exclamation of; 'My poor Amy!' he said not a word of
lamentation; but lay hour after hour without speaking; dwelling on the
happy days he had spent with Guy;companion; friend; brother;the
first beam that had brightened his existence; and taught him to make it
no longer cheerless; musing on the brilliant promise that had been cut
off; remembering his hopes for his most beloved sister; and feeling his
sorrow with imagining hers。 It was his first grief; and a very deep
one。 He seemed to have no comfort but in Mr。 Ross; who contrived to
come to him every day; and would tell him how fully he shared his
affection and admiration for Guy; how he had marvelled at his whole
character; as it had shown itself more especially at the time of his
marriage; when his chastened temper had been the more remarkable in so
young a man; with the world opening on him so brightly。 As to the
promise lost; that; indeed; Mr。 Ross owned; and pleased Charles by
saying how he had hoped to watch its fulfilment; but he spoke of its