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delusion； but I do say that there is greatness of mind in his
confessing it； especially at a time when he could put it off； and is so
unequal to agitation。'
It was the absence of any tone of satire that made this speech come
home to Laura as it was meant。 There was no grudging in the praise；
and she answered； in a very low； broken voice；
'You will think so still more when you see this note； which he sent
open； inside mine； to be given to papa when I had told my own story。
Oh； his considerateness for me！'
She gave it to him。 The address； 'C。 Edmonstone； Esq。；' was a mere
scrawl； and within the writing was very trembling and weak。 Charles
remarked it； and she answered by saying that her own letter began in
his own strong hand； but failed and grew shaky at the end； as if from
fatigue and agitation。 The words were few； brief； and simple； very
unlike his usual manner of letter…writing。
'MY DEAR UNCLE；My conduct has been unjustifiableI feel it。 Do not
visit it on LauraI alone should suffer。 I entreat your pardon； and
my aunt's； and leave all to you。 I will write more at length。 Be kind
to her。Yours affectionately；
'PH。 M。'
'Poor Philip！' said Charles； really very much touched。 From that
moment； Laura no longer felt completely isolated； and deprived of
sympathy。 She sat by Charles till late that night； and told him the
whole history of her engagement； much relieved by the outpouring of her
long…hidden griefs； and comforted by his kindness； though he could not
absolutely refrain from words and gestures of censure。 It was as
strange that Charles should be the first person to whom Laura told this
history； as that Guy should have been Philip's first confidant。
CHAPTER 35
There is a Rock； and nigh at hand；
A shadow in a weary land；
Who in that stricken Rock hath rest；
Finds water gushing from its breast。NEALE
In the meantime the days passed at Recoara without much change for the
better or worse。 After the first week； Guy's fever had diminished； his
pulse was lower； the drowsiness ceased； and it seemed as if there was
nothing to prevent absolute recovery。 But though each morning seemed
to bring improvement； it never lasted； the fever； though not high；
could never be entirely reduced； and strength was perceptibly wasting；
in spite of every means of keeping it up。
There was not much positive suffering； very little even of headache；
and he was cheerful； though speaking little； because he was told not to
excite or exhaust himself。 Languor and lassitude were the chief causes
of discomfort； and as his strength failed； there came fits of
exhaustion and oppression that tried him severely。 At first； these
were easily removed by stimulants； but remedies seemed to lose their
effect； and the sinking was almost death…like。
'I think I could bear acute pain better！' he said one day； and more
than once the sigh broke from him almost unconsciously；'Oh for one
breath of Redclyffe sea…wind！' Indeed； it seemed as if the close air
of the shut…in…valley； at the end of a long hot day was almost enough
to overwhelm him； weak as he had become。 Every morning； when Amabel
let in the fresh breeze at the window； she predicted it would be a cool
day； and do him good； every afternoon the wind abated； the sun shone
full in； the room was stifling； the faintness came on； and after a few
vain attempts at relieving it； Guy sighed that there was nothing for it
but quiet； and Amy was obliged to acquiesce。 As the sun set； the
breeze sprung up； it became cooler； he fell asleep； awoke revived； was
comfortable all the evening； and Amy left him at eleven or twelve； with
hopes of his having a good night。
It seemed to her as if ages had passed in this way； when one evening
two letters were brought in。
'From mamma！' said she； 'and this one；' holding it up； 'is for you。 It
must have been hunting us everywhere。 How many different directions！'
'From Markham；' said Guy。 'It must be the letter we were waiting for。'
The letter to tell them Redclyffe was ready to receive them！ Amabel
put it down with a strange sensation； and opened her mother's。 With a
start of joy she exclaimed
'They are comingmamma and papa！'
'Then all is right！'
'If we do not receive a much better account；' read Amy； 'we shall set
off early on Wednesday； and hope to be with you not long after you
receive this letter。'
'Oh I am so glad！ I wonder how Charlie gets on without her。'
'It is a great comfort；' said Guy。
'Now you will see what a nurse mamma is！'
'Now you will be properly cared for。'
'How nice it will be！ She will take care of you all night； and never
be tired； and devise everything I am too stupid for； and make you so
comfortable！'
'Nay； no one could do that better than you； Amy。 But it is joy indeed…
…to see mamma againto know you are safe with her。 Everything comes
to make it easy！' The last words were spoken very low； and she did not
disturb him by saying anything till he asked about the rest of the
letter； and desired her to read Markham's to him。
This cost her some pain； for it had been written in ignorance of even
Philip's illness； and detailed triumphantly the preparations at
Redclyffe； hinting that they must send timely notice of their return；
or they would disappoint the tenantry； who intended grand doings； and
concluding with a short lecture on the inexpediency of lingering in
foreign parts。
'Poor Markham；' said Guy。
She understood； but these things did not come on her like a shock now；
for he had been saying them more or less ever since the beginning of
his illness； and fully occupied as she was； she never opened her mind
to the future。 After a long silence； Guy said
'I am very sorry for him。 I have been making Arnaud write to him for
me。'
'Oh； have you？'
'It was better for you not to do it； Arnaud has written for me at
night。 You will send it； Amy； and another to my poor uncle。'
'Very well；' said she； as he looked at her。
'I have told Markham；' said he presently； 'to send you my desk。 There
are all sorts of things in it； just as I threw them in when I cleared
out my rooms at Oxford。 I had rather nobody but you saw some of them。
There is nothing of any importance； so you may look at them when you
please； or not at all。'
She gazed at him without answering。 If there had been any struggle to
retain him； it would have been repressed by his calmness； but the
thought had not come on her suddenly； it was more like an inevitable
fate seen at first at a distance； and gradually advancing upon her。
She had never fastened on the hope of his recovery； and it had dwindled
in an almost imperceptible manner。 She kept watch over him； and
followed his thoughts； without stretching her mind to suppo