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the relief of free confession； he thought it best to allow him to
proceed； only now and then putting in some note of sympathy or of
interrogation； in word or gesture。
'I must explain；' said Philip； 'that you may see how little blame can
be imputed to her。 It was that summer； three years ago； the first
after you came。 I had always been her chief friend。 I saw； or thought
I saw； cause for putting her on her guard。 The result has shown that
the danger was imaginary； but no matterI thought it real。 In the
course of the conversation； more of my true sentiments were avowed than
I was aware of； she was very young； and before we； either of us； knew
what we were doing； it had been equivalent to a declaration。 Well！ I
do not speak to excuse the concealment； but to show you my motive。 If
it had been known； there would have been great displeasure and
disturbance； I should have been banished； and though time might have
softened matters； we should both have had a great deal to go through。
Heaven knows what it may be now！ And； Guy；' he added； breaking off
with trembling eagerness； 'when did you hear from Hollywell？ Do you
know how she has borne the news of my illness？'
'We have heard since they knew of it；' said Guy； 'the letter was from
Mrs。 Edmonstone to Amy； but she did not mention Laura。'
'She has great strength； she would endure anything rather than give
way； but how can she have borne the anxiety and silence？ You are sure
my aunt does not mention her？'
'Certain。 I will ask Amy for the letter； if you like。'
'No； do not go； I must finish； since I have begun。 We did not speak of
an engagement； it was little more than an avowal of preference； I doubt
whether she understood what it amounted to； and I desired her to be
silent。 I deceived myself all along； by declaring she was free； and I
had never asked for her promise； but those things will not do when we
see death face to face； and a resolve made at such a moment must be
kept； let it bring what it may。'
'True。'
'She will be relieved； she wished it to be known； but I thought it best
to wait for my promotionthe only chance of our being able to marry。
However； it shall be put into her father's hands as soon as I can hold
a pen。 All I wish is； that she should not have to bear the brunt of
his anger。'
'He is too kind and good…natured to keep his displeasure long。'
'If it would only light on the right head； instead of on the head of
the nearest。 You say she was harassed and out of spirits。 I wish you
were at home； Amy would comfort her and soften them。'
'We hope to go back as soon as you are in travelling condition。 If you
will come home with us； you will be at hand when Mr。 Edmonstone is
ready to forgive； as I am sure he soon will be。 No one ever was so
glad to forget his displeasure。'
'Yes； it will be over by the time I meet him； for she will have borne
it all。 There is the worst！ But I will not put off the writing； as
soon as I have the power。 Every day the concealment continues is a
further offence。'
'And present suffering is an especial earnest and hope of forgiveness；'
said Guy。 'I have no doubt that much may be done to make Mr。
Edmonstone think well of it。'
'If any suffering of mine would spare hers！' sighed Philip。 'You
cannot estimate the difficulties in our way。 You know nothing of
poverty；the bar it is to everything； almost a positive offence in
itself ！'
'This is only tiring yourself with talking；' said Guy； perceiving how
Philip's bodily weakness was making him fall into a desponding strain。
'You must make haste to get well； and come home with us； and I think we
shall find it no such bad case after all。 There's Amy's fortune to
begin with； only waiting for such an occasion。 No； I can't have you
answer； you have talked； quite long enough。'
Philip was in a state of feebleness that made him willing to avoid the
trouble of thinking； by simply believing what he was told； 'that it was
no bad case。' He was relieved by having confessed； though to the
person whom； a few weeks back； he would have thought the last to whom
he could have made such a communication； over whom he had striven to
assume superiority； and therefore before whom he could have least borne
to humble himselfnay； whose own love he had lately traversed with an
arrogance that was rendered positively absurd by this conduct of his
own。 Nevertheless； he had not shrunk from the confession。 His had
been real repentance； so far as he perceived his faults； and he would
have scorned to avail himself of the certainty of Guy's silence on what
he had said at the time of his extreme danger。 He had resolved to
speak； and had found neither an accuser nor a judge； not even one
consciously returning good for evil； but a friend with honest； simple；
straightforward kindness； doing the best for him in his power； and
dreading nothing so much as hurting his feelings。 It was not the way
in which Philip himself could have received such a confidence。
As soon as Guy could leave him； he went up to his wife。 'Amy；' said
he； rather sadly； 'we have had it out。 It is too true。'
Her first exclamation surprised him： 'Then Charlie really is the
cleverest person in the world。'
'How？ Had he any suspicion？'
'Not that I know of； but； more than once； lately； I have been alarmed
by recollecting how he once said that poor Laura was so much too wise
for her age； that Nature would some day take her revenge； and make her
do something very foolish。 But has Philip told you all about it？'
'Yes； explained it all very kindly。 It must have cost him a great
deal； but he spoke openly and nobly。 It is the beginning of a full
confession to your father。'
'So； it is true！' exclaimed Amabel； as if she heard it for the first
time。 'How shocked mamma will be！ I don't know how to think it
possible！ And poor Laura！ Imagine what she must have gone through；
for you know I never spared the worst accounts。 Do tell me all。'
Guy told what he had just heard； and she was indignant。
'I can't be as angry with him as I should like；' said she； 'now that he
is sorry and ill； but it was a great deal too bad！ I can't think how
he could look any of us in the face； far less expect to rule us all；
and interfere with you！'
'I see I never appreciated the temptations of poverty；' said Guy；
thoughtfully。 'I have often thought of those of wealth； but never of
poverty。'
'I wish you would not excuse him。 I don't mind your doing it about
ourselves； because； though he made you unhappy； he could not make you
do wrong。 Ah！ I know what you mean； but that was over after the first
minute； and he only made you better for all his persecution； but I
don't know how to pardon his making poor Laura so miserable； and
leading her to do what was not right。 Poor； dear girl！ no won