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worldly ways and byways-第7章

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that compels a certain amount of respect。  Our countrywomen will 

deny themselves pleasures; will economize on their food and will 

remain in town during the summer; but when walking abroad they must 

be clad in the best; so that no one may know by their appearance if 

the income be counted by hundreds or thousands。



While these standards prevail and the female mind is fixed on this 

subject with such dire intent; it is not astonishing that a weaker 

sister is occasionally tempted beyond her powers of resistance。  

Nor that each day a new case of a well…dressed woman thieving in a 

shop reaches our ears。  The poor feeble…minded creature is not to 

blame。  She is but the reflexion of the minds around her and is 

probably like the lady Emerson tells of; who confessed to him 〃that 

the sense of being perfectly well…dressed had given her a feeling 

of inward tranquillity which religion was powerless to bestow。〃









CHAPTER 5 … On Some Gilded Misalliances





A DEAR old American lady; who lived the greater part of her life in 

Rome; and received every body worth knowing in her spacious 

drawing…rooms; far up in the dim vastnesses of a Roman palace; used 

to say that she had only known one really happy marriage made by an 

American girl abroad。



In those days; being young and innocent; I considered that remark 

cynical; and in my heart thought nothing could be more romantic and 

charming than for a fair compatriot to assume an historic title and 

retire to her husband's estates; and rule smilingly over him and a 

devoted tenantry; as in the last act of a comic opera; when a rose…

colored light is burning and the orchestra plays the last brilliant 

chords of a wedding march。



There seemed to my perverted sense a certain poetic justice about 

the fact that money; gained honestly but prosaically; in groceries 

or gas; should go to regild an ancient blazon or prop up the 

crumbling walls of some stately palace abroad。



Many thoughtful years and many cruel realities have taught me that 

my gracious hostess of the 〃seventies〃 was right; and that marriage 

under these conditions is apt to be much more like the comic opera 

after the curtain has been rung down; when the lights are out; the 

applauding public gone home; and the weary actors brought slowly 

back to the present and the positive; are wondering how they are to 

pay their rent or dodge the warrant in ambush around the corner。



International marriages usually come about from a deficient 

knowledge of the world。  The father becomes rich; the family travel 

abroad; some mutual friend (often from purely interested motives) 

produces a suitor for the hand of the daughter; in the shape of a 

〃prince〃 with a title that makes the whole simple American family 

quiver with delight。



After a few visits the suitor declares himself; the girl is 

flattered; the father loses his head; seeing visions of his loved 

daughter hob…nobbing with royalty; and (intoxicating thought!) 

snubbing the 〃swells〃 at home who had shown reluctance to recognize 

him and his family。



It is next to impossible for him to get any reliable information 

about his future son…in…law in a country where; as an American; he 

has few social relations; belongs to no club; and whose idiom is a 

sealed book to him。  Every circumstance conspires to keep the flaws 

on the article for sale out of sight and place the suitor in an 

advantageous light。  Several weeks' 〃courting〃 follows; 

paterfamilias agrees to part with a handsome share of his earnings; 

and a marriage is 〃arranged。〃



In the case where the girl has retained some of her self…respect 

the suitor is made to come to her country for the ceremony。  And; 

that the contrast between European ways and our simple habits may 

not be too striking; an establishment is hastily got together; with 

hired liveries and new…bought carriages; as in a recent case in 

this state。  The sensational papers write up this 〃international 

union;〃 and publish 〃faked〃 portraits of the bride and her noble 

spouse。  The sovereign of the groom's country (enchanted that some 

more American money is to be imported into his land) sends an 

economical present and an autograph letter。  The act ends。  

Limelight and slow music!



In a few years rumors of dissent and trouble float vaguely back to 

the girl's family。  Finally; either a great scandal occurs; and 

there is one dishonored home the more in the world; or an 

expatriated woman; thousands of miles from the friends and 

relatives who might be of some comfort to her; makes up her mind to 

accept 〃anything〃 for the sake of her children; and attempts to 

build up some sort of an existence out of the remains of her lost 

illusions; and the father wakes up from his dream to realize that 

his wealth has only served to ruin what he loved best in all the 

world。



Sometimes the conditions are delightfully comic; as in a well…known 

case; where the daughter; who married into an indolent; happy…go…

lucky Italian family; had inherited her father's business push and 

energy along with his fortune; and immediately set about 〃running〃 

her husband's estate as she had seen her father do his bank。  She 

tried to revive a half…forgotten industry in the district; scraped 

and whitewashed their picturesque old villa; proposed her husband's 

entering business; and in short dashed head down against all his 

inherited traditions and national prejudices; until her new family 

loathed the sight of the brisk American face; and the poor she had 

tried to help; sulked in their newly drained houses and refused to 

be comforted。  Her ways were not Italian ways; and she seemed to 

the nun…like Italian ladies; almost unsexed; as she tramped about 

the fields; talking artificial manure and subsoil drainage with the 

men。  Yet neither she nor her husband was to blame。  The young 

Italian had but followed the teachings of his family; which decreed 

that the only honorable way for an aristocrat to acquire wealth was 

to marry it。  The American wife honestly tried to do her duty in 

this new position; naively thinking she could engraft transatlantic 

〃go〃 upon the indolent Italian character。  Her work was in vain; 

she made herself and her husband so unpopular that they are now 

living in this country; regretting too late the error of their 

ways。



Another case but little less laughable; is that of a Boston girl 

with a neat little fortune of her own; who; when married to the 

young Viennese of her choice; found that he expected her to live 

with his family on the third floor of their 〃palace〃 (the two lower 

floors being rented to foreigners); and as there was hardly enough 

money for a box at the opera; she was not expected to go; whereas 

his position made it necessary for him to have a stall and appear 

there nightly among the men of his rank; the astonished and 

disillusioned Bostonian remaining at home EN TETE…A
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