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worldly ways and byways-第42章

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recognition) has placed these people in a singularly false 

position。  An American girl who has married a Duke is a good deal 

astonished to find that she is legally only plain 〃Madame So and 

So;〃 that when her husband does his military service there is no 

trace of the high…sounding title to be found in his official 

papers。  Some years ago; a colonel was rebuked because he allowed 

the Duc d'Alencon to be addressed as 〃Monseigneur〃 by the other 

officers of his regiment。  This ought to make ambitious papas 

reflect; when they treat themselves to titled sons…in…law。  They 

should at least try and get an article recognized by the law。



Most of what is written here is perfectly well known to resident 

Americans in Paris; and has been the cause of gradually splitting 

that once harmonious settlement into two perfectly distinct camps; 

between which no love is lost。  The members of one; clinging to 

their countrymen's creed of having the best or nothing; have been 

contented to live in France and know but few French people; 

entertaining among themselves and marrying their daughters to 

Americans。  The members of the other; who have 〃gone in〃 for French 

society; take what they can get; and; on the whole; lead very jolly 

lives。  It often happens (perhaps it is only a coincidence) that 

ladies who have not been very successful at home are partial to 

this circle; where they easily find guests for their entertainments 

and the recognition their souls long for。



What the future of the 〃Great Faubourg〃 will be; it is hard to say。  

All hope of a possible RESTAURATION appears to be lost。  Will the 

proud necks that refused to bend to the Orleans dynasty or the two 

〃empires〃 bow themselves to the republican yoke?  It would seem as 

if it must terminate in this way; for everything in this world must 

finish。  But the end is not yet; one cannot help feeling sympathy 

for people who are trying to live up to their traditions and be 

true to such immaterial idols as 〃honor〃 and 〃family〃 in this 

discouragingly material age; when everything goes down before the 

Golden Calf。  Nor does one wonder that men who can trace their 

ancestors back to the Crusades should hesitate to ally themselves 

with the last rich PARVENU who has raised himself from the gutter; 

or resent the ardor with which the latest importation of American 

ambition tries to chum with them and push its way into their life。









CHAPTER 31 … Men's Manners





NOTHING makes one feel so old as to wake up suddenly; as it were; 

and realize that the conditions of life have changed; and that the 

standards you knew and accepted in your youth have been raised or 

lowered。  The young men you meet have somehow become uncomfortably 

polite; offering you armchairs in the club; and listening with a 

shade of deference to your stories。  They are of another 

generation; their ways are not your ways; nor their ambitions those 

you had in younger days。  One is tempted to look a little closer; 

to analyze what the change is; in what this subtle difference 

consists; which you feel between your past and their present。  You 

are surprised and a little angry to discover that; among other 

things; young men have better manners than were general among the 

youths of fifteen years ago。



Anyone over forty can remember three epochs in men's manners。  When 

I was a very young man; there were still going about in society a 

number of gentlemen belonging to what was reverently called the 

〃old school;〃 who had evidently taken Sir Charles Grandison as 

their model; read Lord Chesterfield's letters to his son with 

attention; and been brought up to commence letters to their 

fathers; 〃Honored Parent;〃 signing themselves 〃Your humble servant 

and respectful son。〃  There are a few such old gentlemen still to 

be found in the more conservative clubs; where certain windows are 

tacitly abandoned to these elegant…mannered fossils。  They are 

quite harmless unless you happen to find them in a reminiscent 

mood; when they are apt to be a little tiresome; it takes their 

rusty mental machinery so long to get working!  Washington 

possesses a particularly fine collection among the retired army and 

navy officers and ex…officials。  It is a fact well known that no 

one drawing a pension ever dies。



About 1875; a new generation with new manners began to make its 

appearance。  A number of its members had been educated at English 

universities; and came home burning to upset old ways and teach 

their elders how to live。  They broke away from the old clubs and 

started smaller and more exclusive circles among themselves; 

principally in the country。  This was a period of bad manners。  

True to their English model; they considered it 〃good form〃 to be 

uncivil and to make no effort towards the general entertainment 

when in society。  Not to speak more than a word or two during a 

dinner party to either of one's neighbors was the supreme CHIC。  As 

a revolt from the twice…told tales of their elders they held it to 

be 〃bad form〃 to tell a story; no matter how fresh and amusing it 

might be。  An unfortunate outsider who ventured to tell one in 

their club was crushed by having his tale received in dead silence。  

When it was finished one of the party would 〃ring the bell;〃 and 

the circle order drinks at the expense of the man who had dared to 

amuse them。  How the professional story…teller must have shuddered 

… he whose story never was ripe until it had been told a couple of 

hundred times; and who would produce a certain tale at a certain 

course as surely as clock…work。



That the story…telling type was a bore; I grant。  To be grabbed on 

entering your club and obliged to listen to Smith's last; or to 

have the conversation after dinner monopolized by Jones and his 

eternal 〃Speaking of coffee; I remember once;〃 etc。 added an 

additional hardship to existence。  But the opposite pose; which 

became the fashion among the reformers; was hardly less wearisome。  

To sit among a group of perfectly mute men; with an occasional word 

dropping into the silence like a stone in a well; was surely little 

better。



A girl told me she had once sat through an entire cotillion with a 

youth whose only remark during the evening had been (after absorbed 

contemplation of the articles in question); 〃How do you like my 

socks?〃



On another occasion my neighbor at table said to me:



〃I think the man on my right has gone to sleep。  He is sitting with 

his eyes closed!〃  She was mistaken。  He was practising his newly 

acquired 〃repose of manner;〃 and living up to the standard of his 

set。



The model young man of that period had another offensive habit; his 

pose of never seeing you; which got on the nerves of his elders to 

a considerable extent。  If he came into a drawing…room where you 

were sitting with a lady; he would shake hands with her and begin a 

conversation; ignoring 
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