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tired； I throw over every other engagement。 I could have done them
all with hurry and fatigue。 I prefer to do one…half and enjoy what
I do。 If I go to a house； it is to remain and appreciate whatever
entertainment has been prepared for me。 I never offer to any
hostess the slight of a hurried； DISTRAIT 'call；' with glances at
my watch； and an 'on…the…wing' manner。 It is much easier not to
go； or to send a card。〃
This brings me around to a subject which I believe is one of the
causes of my correspondent's dilemma。 I fear that she never can
refuse anything。 It is a peculiar trait of people who go about to
amuse themselves； that they are always sure the particular
entertainment they have been asked to last is going to 〃be
amusing。〃 It rarely is different from the others； but these people
are convinced； that to stay away would be to miss something。 A
weary…looking girl about 1 A。M。 （at a house…party） when asked why
she did not go to bed if she was so tired； answered； 〃the nights I
go to bed early； they always seem to do something jolly； and then I
miss it。〃
There is no greater proof of how much this weary round wears on
women than the acts of the few who feel themselves strong enough in
their position to defy custom。 They have thrown off the yoke （at
least the younger ones have） doubtless backed up by their husbands；
for men are much quicker to see the aimlessness of this stupid
social routine。 First they broke down the great New…Year…call
〃grind。〃 Men over forty doubtless recall with a shudder； that
awful custom which compelled a man to get into his dress clothes at
ten A。M。； and pass his day rushing about from house to house like a
postman。 Out…of…town clubs and sport helped to do away with that
remnant of New Amsterdam。 Next came the male revolt from the
afternoon 〃tea〃 or 〃musical。〃 A black coat is rare now at either
of these functions； or if seen is pretty sure to be on a back over
fifty。 Next； we lords of creation refused to call at all； or leave
our cards。 A married woman now leaves her husband's card with her
own； and sisters leave the 〃pasteboard〃 of their brothers and often
those of their brothers' friends。 Any combination is good enough
to 〃shoot a card。〃
In London the men have gone a step further。 It is not uncommon to
hear a young man boast that he never owned a visiting card or made
a 〃duty〃 call in his life。 Neither there nor with us does a man
count as a 〃call〃 a quiet cup of tea with a woman he likes； and a
cigarette and quiet talk until dressing time。 Let the young women
have courage and take matters into their own hands。 （The older
ones are hopeless and will go on pushing this Juggernaut car over
each other's weary bodies； until the end of the chapter。） Let them
have the courage occasionally to 〃refuse〃 something； to keep
themselves free from aimless engagements； and bring this paste…
board war to a close。 If a woman is attractive； she will be asked
out all the same； never fear！ If she is not popular； the few dozen
of 〃egg…shell extra〃 that she can manage to slip in at the front
doors of her acquaintances will not help her much。
If this matter is； however； so vastly important in women's eyes；
why not adopt the continental and diplomatic custom and send cards
by post or otherwise？ There； if a new…comer dines out and meets
twenty…five people for the first time； cards must be left the next
day at their twenty…five respective residences。 How the cards get
there is of no importance。 It is a diplomatic fiction that the new
acquaintance has called in person； and the call will be returned
within twenty…four hours。 Think of the saving of time and
strength！ In Paris； on New Year's Day； people send cards by post
to everybody they wish to keep up。 That does for a year； and no
more is thought about it。 All the time thus gained can be given to
culture or recreation。
I have often wondered why one sees so few women one knows at our
picture exhibitions or flower shows。 It is no longer a mystery to
me。 They are all busy trotting up and down our long side streets
leaving cards。 Hideous vision！ Should Dante by any chance
reincarnate； he would find here the material ready made to his hand
for an eighth circle in his INFERNO。
CHAPTER 21 … 〃Like Master Like Man。〃
A FREQUENT and naive complaint one hears； is of the
unsatisfactoriness of servants generally； and their ingratitude and
astonishing lack of affection for their masters； in particular。
〃After all I have done for them；〃 is pretty sure to sum up the long
tale of a housewife's griefs。 Of all the delightful
inconsistencies that grace the female mind； this latter point of
view always strikes me as being the most complete。 I artfully lead
my fair friend on to tell me all about her woes； and she is sure to
be exquisitely one…sided and quite unconscious of her position。
〃They are so extravagant； take so little interest in my things； and
leave me at a moment's notice； if they get an idea I am going to
break up。 Horrid things！ I wish I could do without them！ They
cause me endless worry and annoyance。〃 My friend is very nearly
right； … but with whom lies the fault？
The conditions were bad enough years ago； when servants were kept
for decades in the same family； descending like heirlooms from
father to son； often （abroad） being the foster sisters or brothers
of their masters； and bound to the household by an hundred ties of
sympathy and tradition。 But in our day； and in America； where
there is rarely even a common language or nationality to form a
bond； and where households are broken up with such facility； the
relation between master and servant is often so strained and so
unpleasant that we risk becoming （what foreigners reproach us with
being）； a nation of hotel…dwellers。 Nor is this class…feeling
greatly to be wondered at。 The contrary would be astonishing。
From the primitive household； where a poor neighbor comes in as
〃help；〃 to the 〃great〃 establishment where the butler and
housekeeper eat apart； and a group of plush…clad flunkies imported
from England adorn the entrance…hall； nothing could be better
contrived to set one class against another than domestic service。
Proverbs have grown out of it in every language。 〃No man is a hero
to his valet；〃 and 〃familiarity breeds contempt；〃 are clear enough。
Our comic papers are full of the misunderstandings and absurdities
of the situation； while one rarely sees a joke made about the other
ways that the poor earn their living。 Think of it for a moment！
To be obliged to attend people at the times of day when they are
least attractive； when from fatigue or temper they drop the mask
that society glues to their faces so many hours in the twenty…four；
to see always the seamy side of life； the small expedients； the
aids to nature； to