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Worldly Ways and Byways
by Eliot Gregory
A Table of Contents
To the READER
1。 Charm
2。 The Moth and the Star
3。 Contrasted Travelling
4。 The Outer and the Inner Woman
5。 On Some Gilded Misalliances
6。 The Complacency of Mediocrity
7。 The Discontent of Talent
8。 Slouch
9。 Social Suggestion
10。 Bohemia
11。 Social Exiles
12。 〃Seven Ages〃 of Furniture
13。 Our Elite and Public Life
14。 The Small Summer Hotel
15。 A False Start
16。 A Holy Land
17。 Royalty at Play
18。 A Rock Ahead
19。 The Grand Prix
20。 〃The Treadmill〃
21。 〃Like Master Like Man〃
22。 An English Invasion of the Riviera
23。 A Common Weakness
24。 Changing Paris
25。 Contentment
26。 The Climber
27。 The Last of the Dandies
28。 A Nation on the Wing
29。 Husks
30。 The Faubourg St。 Germain
31。 Men's Manners
32。 An Ideal Hostess
33。 The Introducer
34。 A Question and an Answer
35。 Living on Your Friends
36。 American Society in Italy
37。 The Newport of the Past
38。 A Conquest of Europe
39。 A Race of Slaves
40。 Introspection
To the Reader
THERE existed formerly； in diplomatic circles； a curious custom；
since fallen into disuse； entitled the Pele Mele； contrived
doubtless by some distracted Master of Ceremonies to quell the
endless jealousies and quarrels for precedence between courtiers
and diplomatists of contending pretensions。 Under this rule no
rank was recognized； each person being allowed at banquet； fete； or
other public ceremony only such place as he had been ingenious or
fortunate enough to obtain。
Any one wishing to form an idea of the confusion that ensued； of
the intrigues and expedients resorted to； not only in procuring
prominent places； but also in ensuring the integrity of the Pele
Mele； should glance over the amusing memoirs of M。 de Segur。
The aspiring nobles and ambassadors； harassed by this constant
preoccupation； had little time or inclination left for any serious
pursuit； since； to take a moment's repose or an hour's breathing
space was to risk falling behind in the endless and aimless race。
Strange as it may appear； the knowledge that they owed place and
preferment more to chance or intrigue than to any personal merit or
inherited right； instead of lessening the value of the prizes for
which all were striving； seemed only to enhance them in the eyes of
the competitors。
Success was the unique standard by which they gauged their fellows。
Those who succeeded revelled in the adulation of their friends； but
when any one failed； the fickle crowd passed him by to bow at more
fortunate feet。
No better picture could be found of the 〃world〃 of to…day； a
perpetual Pele Mele； where such advantages only are conceded as we
have been sufficiently enterprising to obtain； and are strong or
clever enough to keep … a constant competition； a daily
steeplechase； favorable to daring spirits and personal initiative
but with the defect of keeping frail humanity ever on the qui vive。
Philosophers tell us； that we should seek happiness only in the
calm of our own minds； not allowing external conditions or the
opinions of others to influence our ways。 This lofty detachment
from environment is achieved by very few。 Indeed； the philosophers
themselves （who may be said to have invented the art of 〃posing〃）
were generally as vain as peacocks； profoundly pre…occupied with
the verdict of their contemporaries and their position as regards
posterity。
Man is born gregarious and remains all his life a herding animal。
As one keen observer has written； 〃So great is man's horror of
being alone that he will seek the society of those he neither likes
nor respects sooner than be left to his own。〃 The laws and
conventions that govern men's intercourse have； therefore； formed a
tempting subject for the writers of all ages。 Some have labored
hoping to reform their generation； others have written to offer
solutions for life's many problems。
Beaumarchais； whose penetrating wit left few subjects untouched；
makes his Figaro put the subject aside with 〃Je me presse de rire
de tout； de peur d'etre oblige d'en pleurer。〃
The author of this little volume pretends to settle no disputes；
aims at inaugurating no reforms。 He has lightly touched on passing
topics and jotted down； 〃to point a moral or adorn a tale；〃 some of
the more obvious foibles and inconsistencies of our American ways。
If a stray bit of philosophy has here and there slipped in between
the lines； it is mostly of the laughing 〃school；〃 and used more in
banter than in blame。
This much abused 〃world〃 is a fairly agreeable place if you do not
take it seriously。 Meet it with a friendly face and it will smile
gayly back at you； but do not ask of it what it cannot give； or
attribute to its verdicts more importance than they deserve。
ELIOT GREGORY
Newport； November first； 1897
CHAPTER 1 … Charm
WOMEN endowed by nature with the indescribable quality we call
〃charm〃 （for want of a better word）； are the supreme development of
a perfected race； the last word； as it were； of civilization； the
flower of their kind； crowning centuries of growing refinement and
cultivation。 Other women may unite a thousand brilliant qualities；
and attractive attributes； may be beautiful as Astarte or witty as
Madame de Montespan； those endowed with the power of charm； have in
all ages and under every sky； held undisputed rule over the hearts
of their generation。
When we look at the portraits of the enchantresses whom history
tells us have ruled the world by their charm； and swayed the
destinies of empires at their fancy； we are astonished to find that
they have rarely been beautiful。 From Cleopatra or Mary of
Scotland down to Lola Montez； the tell…tale coin or canvas reveals
the same marvellous fact。 We wonder how these women attained such
influence over the men of their day； their husbands or lovers。 We
would do better to look around us； or inward； and observe what is
passing in our own hearts。
Pause； reader mine； a moment and reflect。 Who has held the first
place in your thoughts； filled your soul； and influenced your life？
Was she the most beautiful of your acquaintances； the radiant
vision that dazzled your boyish eyes？ Has she not rather been some
gentle； quiet woman whom you hardly noticed the first time your
paths crossed； but who gradually grew to be a part of your life …
to whom you instinctively turned for consolation in moments of
discouragement； for counsel in your difficulties； and whose welcome
was the bright moment in your day； looked forward to through long
hours of toil and worry？
In the hurly…burly of life we lose sight of so many things our
fathers and mothers clung to； and have drifted so far away from
their gentle customs and