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The Diary of an Old Soul
garment drips and flows。 Ere long I shall be safe in upper air； With thee；
my lifewith thee； my answered prayer Where thou art God in every wind
that blows； And self alone； and ever； softly dies； There shall my being
blossom； and I know it fair。
24。
I would dig； Master； in no field but thine； Would build my house only
upon thy rock； Yet am but a dull day； with a sea…sheen！ Why should I
wonder then that they should mock； Who； in the limbo of things heard and
seen； Hither and thither blowing； lose the shine Of every light that hangs
in the firmament divine。
25。
Lord； loosen in me the hold of visible things； Help me to walk by faith
and not by sight； I would； through thickest veils and coverings； See into
the chambers of the living light。 Lord； in the land of things that swell and
seem； Help me to walk by the other light supreme； Which shows thy facts
behind man's vaguely hinting dream。
26。
I see a little child whose eager hands Search the thick stream that
drains the crowded street For possible things hid in its current slow。 Near
by； behind him； a great palace stands； Where kings might welcome nobles
to their feet。 Soft sounds； sweet scents； fair sights there only go There the
child's father lives； but the child does not know。
27。
On； eager； hungry； busy…seeking child； Rise up； turn round； run in； run
up the stair。 Far in a chamber from rude noise exiled； Thy father sits；
pondering how thou dost fare。 The mighty man will clasp thee to his breast：
Will kiss thee； stroke the tangles of thy hair； And lap thee warm in fold on
fold of lovely rest。
28。
The prince of this world came； and nothing found In thee； O master；
but； ah； woe is me！ He cannot pass me； on other business bound； But；
spying in me things familiar； he Casts over me the shadow of his flight；
And straight I moan in darknessand the fight Begins afresh betwixt the
world and thee。
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The Diary of an Old Soul
29。
In my own heart； O master； in my thought； Betwixt the woolly sheep
and hairy goat Not clearly I distinguish； but I think Thou knowest that I
fight upon thy side。 The how I am ashamed of； for I shrink 》From many a
blowam borne on the battle…tide； When I should rush to the front； and
take thy foe by the throat。
30。
The enemy still hath many things in me； Yea； many an evil nest with
open hole Gapes out to him； at which he enters free。 But； like the impact
of a burning coal； His presence mere straight rouses the garrison； And all
are up in arms； and down on knee； Fighting and praying till the foe is
gone。
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OCTOBER。
1。
REMEMBER； Lord； thou hast not made me good。 Or if thou didst； it
was so long ago I have forgottenand never understood； I humbly think。
At best it was a crude； A rough…hewn goodness； that did need this woe；
This sin； these harms of all kinds fierce and rude； To shape it out； making
it live and grow。
2。
But thou art making me； I thank thee； sire。 What thou hast done and
doest thou know'st well； And I will help thee：gently in thy fire I will lie
burning； on thy potter's…wheel I will whirl patient； though my brain should
reel； Thy grace shall be enough the grief to quell； And growing strength
perfect through weakness dire。
3。
I have not knowledge； wisdom； insight； thought； Nor understanding； fit
to justify Thee in thy work； O Perfect。 Thou hast brought Me up to this
and； lo！ what thou hast wrought； I cannot call it good。 But I can cry 〃O
enemy； the maker hath not done； One day thou shalt behold； and from the
sight wilt run。〃
4。
The faith I will； aside is easily bent； But of thy love； my God； one
glimpse alone Can make me absolutely confident With faith； hope； joy；
in love responsive blent。 My soul then； in the vision mighty grown； Its
father and its fate securely known； Falls on thy bosom with exultant moan。
5。
Thou workest perfectly。 And if it seem Some things are not so well； 'tis
but because They are too loving…deep； too lofty…wise； For me； poor child；
to understand their laws： My highest wisdom half is but a dream； My love
runs helpless like a falling stream： Thy good embraces ill； and lo！ its
illness dies！
6。
》From sleep I wake； and wake to think of thee。 But wherefore not with
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sudden glorious glee？ Why burst not gracious on me heaven and earth In
all the splendour of a new…day…birth？ Why hangs a cloud betwixt my lord
and me？ The moment that my eyes the morning greet； My soul should
panting rush to clasp thy father…feet。
7。
Is it because it is not thou I see； But only my poor； blotted fancy of
thee？ Oh！ never till thyself reveal thy face； Shall I be flooded with life's
vital grace。 Oh make my mirror…heart thy shining…place； And then my soul；
awaking with the morn； Shall be a waking joy； eternally new…born。
8。
Lord； in my silver is much metal base； Else should my being by this
time have shown Thee thy own self therein。 Therefore do I Wake in the
furnace。 I know thou sittest by； Refininglook； keep looking in to try Thy
silver； master； look and see thy face； Else here I lie for ever； blank as any
stone。
9。
But when in the dim silver thou dost look； I do behold thy face； though
blurred and faint。 Oh joy！ no flaw in me thy grace will brook； But still
refine： slow shall the silver pass 》From bright to brighter； till； sans spot or
taint； Love； well content； shall see no speck of brass； And I his perfect face
shall hold as in a glass。
10。
With every morn my life afresh must break The crust of self； gathered
about me fresh； That thy wind…spirit may rush in and shake The darkness
out of me； and rend the mesh The spider…devils spin out of the flesh
Eager to net the soul before it wake； That it may slumberous lie； and listen
to the snake。
11。
'Tis that I am not goodthat is enough； I pry no fartherthat is not the
way。 Here； O my potter； is thy making stuff